Do you have trouble focusing? Most of the time, I wear contact lenses. Sometimes I wear glasses. When I switch between the two, my eyes take time to focus on what I’m looking at. My vision stays blurred for a while until my eyes adjust to the different form of lens.

We can face the same problem when looking at life. We have trouble focusing on what we should be seeing. We become distracted and we don’t focus on the right things. We focus on the problems. We focus on the negativity. We focus on what’s not going well. Our minds and thoughts become blurred. This blurred vision can keep us locked​ in on all the bad things of life. We create a vicious pattern of spitting anger, hate, and disappointment toward things we can’t change.

What if we change that focus?  Change from your contacts to your glasses, so to speak. Look at the world differently and focus on the good. Focus on the happiness in life. Focus on positivity. Because it is there, right alongside the bad things that are happening. It’s just up to you where you focus your line of vision and your attention. Where we focus is something we can change.

We will always be bombarded with bad news and negativity, but where are the good things that happen? What about the good news? Focus your attention on the good.
Good will always balance the bad, but you must focus on the good, or the scales will tip so your vision only sees the bad. You will form a habitual behavior of only seeing the bad. You only talk about the bad. You will only feel the bad. You will become so ingrained in your line of vision that you become what you focus on – the bad.

Refocus your perspective on life. Events don’t happen to us; they happen for us. Everything that happens in life, good and bad, is happening to teach us lessons and encourage our growth as humans.
 
This may be difficult to grasp, but once you do, your outlook on life will change. Even when hardships seem unfair, instead of seeing the problem as an obstacle, ask yourself what you are learning and how you are growing from the situation. Find the good in every bad situation.
 
Even in tragedy, there is good. During a tragedy, people come together to support and help each other. We see the best in people when tragedy hits. Focus on what is good about a bad situation. Every experience, good or bad, is shaping you into the person you’re meant to be.
 
You may not be able to control everything in life, but YOU have the power to control your focus. Focus your attention on the good for one day. Only allow your vision to focus on good events, good actions, and good people. Become so intent on seeing the good in the world that all you see is good. Your vision will blur the bad situations in life, so you will no longer be able to focus on the bad. Do this for a day, a week, a month…then let me know how it changes your vision.​ ​And how it changes your life.
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                                                  Pennie’s Life Lesson:
                         Every experience, good or bad, is shaping you into
                                           the person you’re meant to be. 
                                 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

​YOUR TURN...        
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                                 Thank you!  ​
                                      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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                                          Copyright © 2013-2025 Pennie Hunt
                             This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
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Do you believe that there are leaders and followers? ​ You might believe you are a follower and have no desire to lead, but I am going to pop that bubble of misconception. I believe we are all leaders, and yes, we are also all followers. Different circumstances bring out a different role.

If you are a parent, you are a constant leader. You lead by example. You model behaviors every moment of every day that your children watch. They want to be like you, and so they mimic your behavior. You are empowering them to be the person they will be by leading them in that direction. Be a good leader.

If you are an older sibling, you hold a similar position of leadership. Your younger siblings may look up to you, admire you, and follow you. Be a good leader.

When you are in school, if you are in student council or are the president of a club, of course, you are in a leadership role. But what about being in team sports, or debate, or just the cool kid at the lunch table… someone is looking up to you and watching what you do. You are influencing their life and their actions. Be a good leader.

What about sports stars, actors, and influencers on social media? They have the power to inspire, persuade, and motivate us. They lead us to their fashion trends, their food suggestions, and their lifestyles. We buy into their suggestions and follow them. If you are one of them, be a good leader.

If you are a business owner, a CEO, or the manager at a coffee shop, you are a leader. Your employees look to you for structure and a clear example of expectations. You help them see the vision of the organization and model integrity. Be a good leader.
​
If you are a teacher at any level, from elementary school to higher education, a trainer, or a coach, you instill trust and team growth. You demonstrate and expect integrity, resilience, and communication. Be a good leader.

If you are a friend, you show empathy and commitment to the relationship of friendship. They return the same. Be a good leader.  

If you fit into any of those examples, you have been a leader at some point in your life. I am sure you can also see yourself as a follower in many of those scenarios. Every role in life allows opportunities to be a leader and to be a follower. During your lifetime, you will swing back and forth between the two roles. Whichever shoe you are wearing, know that someone else is watching you, taking mental notes, and hoping to follow in your footprints.

Create footprints that have meaning. Choose who you follow by using the criteria of kindness, love, and peace. Follow the leaders who model these qualities. Follow the goodness. And when it is your time to lead…be a good leader.
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                                               Pennie’s Life Lesson:
                              Life flows between leading others and
                             learning from those we choose to follow. 
                                     ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Three cars full of his friends drove 5 hours to attend my son’s funeral. Standing in front of the casket, several boys came up to me and said, “We want you to know you are now in the Inner Circle.” 
 
They explained that 7 boys (my son was one) had been together since grade school and called themselves the “Inner Circle.” Whenever there was a problem or celebration, the Inner Circle came together for meetings in support of each other. They told me now that J.T. was gone, they wanted me to take his place in the Inner Circle. They made it clear that this was an honor, as a girl had never been invited as a member.
 
I asked what they do at their meetings. They joked and said a tattoo had been mentioned at one time. I laughed and said, J.T. was such a wimp, he would have never gotten a tattoo. They all agreed, but said, “We think his mom is braver than he was.” 
 
After the service, the food, and the stories about J.T. were done, these boys came to me to say goodbye. They requested that the next Inner Circle meeting be at my house, and they wanted homemade chocolate chip cookies like I made for them when they were young.
 
Weeks later, I invited the Inner Circle (plus a few more) to my house for a meeting. I gave them all a framed picture of J.T. They gave me a necklace and earring set of J.T.’s birthstone –the January garnet. We had pizza, laughed, cried, shared stories, and of course, ate lots of cookies. 
 
It was terribly painful, incredibly heartwarming, sad, happy, and every emotion you could imagine. I was touched by the love they shared, the bond they had, and the emotion they expressed. 
 
One of the Inner Circle members couldn’t attend that day but came to see me days later and spent hours with me. He had always been an “old soul” and wise at 12 years old, astounding at 22. He helped me understand the dynamics of the Inner Circle and the strength each member brought to their group. He told me J.T. was the one in the group who took on everyone’s pain, helped them get through hard times, and always, always helped them laugh. He made it clear why their bond was so powerful.
 
I thought, man, these guys have got it figured out! They got it at 12 years old! They REALLY understood it at 22! They had created an Inner Circle of friendship based on love, trust, and understanding.
 
I remembered how upset I would be at my son when he rushed to a friend’s side when they needed him, forgetting about school or work. Looking back, maybe this wasn’t wrong. Maybe he had it right in a way I never understood at the time.
 
It has been 18 years since my son passed and these young men invited me into their circle and taught me what my son taught them – how to help carry the pain of others, how to get through the hard times together, and to always laugh. 

​I have watched these young people grow into successful men, husbands, and fathers. I’ve sat in the front row at their weddings and stared at the empty spot in the line of groomsmen where my son should have been. I’ve held their babies, received phone calls from them on Mother’s Day, written reference letters when they applied for jobs, and held their hands when life was difficult. They are not perfect. They have had challenges, but in my book, they have had the biggest success any of us could hope for - the love and support of each other.
 
Teachers come in all ages and in unexpected ways. I have learned lessons from many. A group of 12-year-old boys who have grown to be men before my eyes joins that list. They touched my heart and kept my inner light glowing during a time when grief darkened my world. They are living examples of how to put love, commitment, and gratitude first. I am proud to have been considered part of their Inner Circle.
 
Close your eyes and think of someone who made a difference in your life… an unexpected teacher who at some point rekindled your inner light. Think about how you can tell them what they mean to you. Think about when you will thank them. 
 
Maybe it is time for me to host another Inner Circle Meeting, you know, just to say thank you.
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                                                Pennie’s Life Lesson:
                           Someday, someone may close their eyes and
                                     think of you with gratitude because
                                  you invited them into your Inner Circle.
                                         ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

When was the last time you were having a great meal, but while you ate the main course, you couldn’t stop thinking about the dessert?

When was the last time you were at an event, but you weren’t feeling the happiness of the day because you were replaying memories of past events in your mind?

In both scenarios, what did you miss?

You missed experiencing the only thing that matters – the present moment.
So much of our life is spent dreaming about the future. Setting goals, financial forecasting, and planning our life timeline can be a good thing. It is when you are thinking about the future so much that you miss what is happening now that it becomes a problem.

At times, we may obsess about our fear of the future. We fear failure. We fear tragedy. We fear death. We spend our current moments in fear-fueled worry, so we miss what is happening now. The reality is, we have no idea how many tomorrows we will be blessed with. All the things we worry about may never happen. Fear does not protect us from the ones that do. So, why do we waste time in fear? Instead, pay attention to the moment and show up for today.

Another part of our life is spent remembering the past. The events we regret. The people we grieve. The love we have lost. Instead of keeping the memories in a place of learning and love, we replay regret, shame, and disgrace in our minds. The wonderful things that are happening today are pushed to the background, and we focus on the loss of the past. We miss the joy of today by bringing the heavy weight of yesterday into our present moments. Don’t let your yesterdays take away your today.

You see, we only have 3 days. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. Everything that has happened in the past is lumped into yesterday. Everything that might happen in the future is lumped into tomorrow. Life happens in today, more specifically, in the moment you are in right now.

Show up for today, this moment. Show up now for what is happening. Even if it is not exciting or if it’s uncomfortable, show up. Brushing our teeth in the morning is not thrilling… but pay attention to each tooth-it is important. Yard work may not be fun for you to do but show up. As you mow the grass, enjoy being outside and the benefits you receive from the sun and fresh air. Be grateful for the beauty of flowers. Nature is important.

Everyone understands how to do this in the big moments of life. Standing at the altar to say, ‘I do,' we are 100% in the moment. The birth of a child stops time in that moment. Signing a mortgage or a divorce document focuses our minds on every letter of our signature.

It is not just the big, flashy events that you need to show up for. We need to concentrate our attention on every little moment in life. Many times, the little moments are the most important, teach us the biggest lessons, and show us the beauty of life.

Show up for your life. Every moment, every second of your life. Show up.
                               ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                       Pennie’s Life Lesson:
                                       Give your full attention to each moment,
                             no matter how ordinary or extraordinary it seems.
                                 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~