​THE DANCE OF GRADUATION AND ADULTHOOD by Pennie Hunt

Pennie and her granddaughter

Graduation announcements are stacked on my kitchen counter. They came from a granddaughter, a grandson, ​and the children and grandchildren of our friends. The colorful cards have photographs of young people growing up and big smiles as they posed for senior pictures.

These beautiful messages announce more than the date and time of the graduation ceremony. They announce a passage. A coming of age. A proclamation of adulthood.

Up until now, these 18-year-olds have lived an organized life, knowing what to do and what is expected. At the age of 5, they began kindergarten. Then elementary school, middle school, and on to high school. Along with the required classes, there was soccer, Little League, dance lessons, piano recitals, band and choir concerts, swim meets, and football games. Add to this debate, chess, theater, robotics, and science clubs. Everything was structured and planned for them.

Now they sit in rows wearing an identical cap and gown in their school colors and flashing the same smile of excitement and fear. Suddenly, they must think about the rest of their life. College? Which college? Where and what should they study? Should they go to trade school or skip it all and find a job? Or take a year or two to find themselves and travel? These questions should be easy to answer, because after all – they are adults now, right?

Do you remember the day that you wore a cap and gown? I do. We had graduated into adulthood and held the diploma to prove it, right? We thought we had life under control, right? But did we really?

In most legal systems, being 18 means you are the "age of majority" and legally considered an adult. This comes with certain rights and responsibilities, such as voting, signing contracts, being responsible for personal actions, and no longer being under the legal guardianship of parents.

I think there is a little more to it than the number of candles on a cake and a diploma in a leather binder. I don’t think you wake up one morning as an adult. The process is an ebb and flow of baby steps. Two steps forward and one step back. One day being an adult. One day back to needing your hand held.

This tiptoeing back and forth gives the graduate and their parents time to adjust. Watching our babies grow up is hard. We want them to become independent and all that they can be, but at the same time, it is hard to let go. We grieve the days of rocking them to sleep, holding their hand to cross the street, and delighting in their growth.

Parents also do the two steps forward and one step back dance. Learning to stop overseeing the scheduling of your child’s life and becoming the observer is balanced with being a few steps behind to support and occasionally catch them when they falter.

We all have choices to make when we are 18 and are handed a diploma. We all make decisions. Some work out well, and some become opportunities to learn, but they all create the path of our lives. Each one adds skills and knowledge that create the adult we become. No one becomes an instant adult when they turn 18 and graduate from high school. It is a dance of choices, decisions, missteps, and success.

This week, I watched my granddaughter cross the stage, receive her diploma, and move her tassel to the left. I am not sure what choices she will make on her way to adulthood, but I know she has an amazing, exciting life opening before her. I will be her biggest fan and supporter as I observe her progress. And I will cheer from the sidelines, “Dance, honey, Dance!”
                                   ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                     Pennie’s Life Lesson:
                           No one becomes an instant adult when they turn 18.
                        It is a dance of choices, decisions, missteps, and success. 
                                    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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YOUR TURN...        
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