THE INNER CIRCLE OF LOVE AND LIFE by Pennie Hunt

The Inner Circle with the framed photo of J.T. in the center. 2015

Three cars full of his friends drove 5 hours to attend my son’s funeral. Standing in front of the casket, several boys came up to me and said, “We want you to know you are now in the Inner Circle.” 
 
They explained that 7 boys (my son was one) had been together since grade school and called themselves the “Inner Circle.” Whenever there was a problem or celebration, the Inner Circle came together for meetings in support of each other. They told me now that J.T. was gone, they wanted me to take his place in the Inner Circle. They made it clear that this was an honor, as a girl had never been invited as a member.
 
I asked what they do at their meetings. They joked and said a tattoo had been mentioned at one time. I laughed and said, J.T. was such a wimp, he would have never gotten a tattoo. They all agreed, but said, “We think his mom is braver than he was.” 
 
After the service, the food, and the stories about J.T. were done, these boys came to me to say goodbye. They requested that the next Inner Circle meeting be at my house, and they wanted homemade chocolate chip cookies like I made for them when they were young.
 
Weeks later, I invited the Inner Circle (plus a few more) to my house for a meeting. I gave them all a framed picture of J.T. They gave me a necklace and earring set of J.T.’s birthstone –the January garnet. We had pizza, laughed, cried, shared stories, and of course, ate lots of cookies. 
 
It was terribly painful, incredibly heartwarming, sad, happy, and every emotion you could imagine. I was touched by the love they shared, the bond they had, and the emotion they expressed. 
 
One of the Inner Circle members couldn’t attend that day but came to see me days later and spent hours with me. He had always been an “old soul” and wise at 12 years old, astounding at 22. He helped me understand the dynamics of the Inner Circle and the strength each member brought to their group. He told me J.T. was the one in the group who took on everyone’s pain, helped them get through hard times, and always, always helped them laugh. He made it clear why their bond was so powerful.
 
I thought, man, these guys have got it figured out! They got it at 12 years old! They REALLY understood it at 22! They had created an Inner Circle of friendship based on love, trust, and understanding.
 
I remembered how upset I would be at my son when he rushed to a friend’s side when they needed him, forgetting about school or work. Looking back, maybe this wasn’t wrong. Maybe he had it right in a way I never understood at the time.
 
It has been 18 years since my son passed and these young men invited me into their circle and taught me what my son taught them – how to help carry the pain of others, how to get through the hard times together, and to always laugh. 

​I have watched these young people grow into successful men, husbands, and fathers. I’ve sat in the front row at their weddings and stared at the empty spot in the line of groomsmen where my son should have been. I’ve held their babies, received phone calls from them on Mother’s Day, written reference letters when they applied for jobs, and held their hands when life was difficult. They are not perfect. They have had challenges, but in my book, they have had the biggest success any of us could hope for - the love and support of each other.
 
Teachers come in all ages and in unexpected ways. I have learned lessons from many. A group of 12-year-old boys who have grown to be men before my eyes joins that list. They touched my heart and kept my inner light glowing during a time when grief darkened my world. They are living examples of how to put love, commitment, and gratitude first. I am proud to have been considered part of their Inner Circle.
 
Close your eyes and think of someone who made a difference in your life… an unexpected teacher who at some point rekindled your inner light. Think about how you can tell them what they mean to you. Think about when you will thank them. 
 
Maybe it is time for me to host another Inner Circle Meeting, you know, just to say thank you.
                           ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 
                                                Pennie’s Life Lesson:
                           Someday, someone may close their eyes and
                                     think of you with gratitude because
                                  you invited them into your Inner Circle.
                                         ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

---

Jameson Tanner- J.T. 1985-2007

YOUR TURN...        
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                                      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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