​You are Not Responsible for Someone’s Dirty Laundry by Pennie Hunt

It is laundry day.
​Towels, sheets, whites, and darks have been washed, rinsed, spun, and tumbled for the last few hours. It sounds like a lot, but this is minor compared to the laundry I did when I had three young kids in the house.

There were constant mountains of dirty laundry divided by color on the floor in front of the washer and dryer. I was always doing laundry.  

Now, this is just my laundry. My husband does his own. I typically take care of the sheets, and whoever sees the necessity to wash towels does that load as needed.

When my mom was alive, she was appalled that I didn’t do my husband’s laundry. It was, in her mind, the wife’s job. We don’t see it that way. We both like different detergents, and he is picky about the temperature and speed at which his shirts are dried. Laundry is not my favorite chore, and he likes doing his own. We have been married for over 15 years and have always been responsible for our own dirty laundry. This works for us. 

When you think about it, who wants to be responsible for other people’s dirty laundry? Oh, I did love folding tiny sleepers and cute baby clothes when my kids were infants, but that is where it stopped.

How many times in life do we carry the load of other people’s dirty laundry? We clean up their messes, fix their problems, and bail them out of unpleasant situations.
​Let them be responsible for their own dirty laundry. They could divide their own problems into small piles and figure out the best solutions for each one. In the process, they will learn what works best for them.

They will learn that if they don’t take care of their own situations, they will drag around dirty laundry for the whole world to see. Dragging that bag of unfinished business is humiliating and makes others uncomfortable. No one wants to see your messes, mistakes, and problems. When a person learns that it is their responsibility and that no one else will fix it for them, they become problem solvers, self-confident, self-reliant, and accountable. No one else is responsible for their dirty laundry.

​You might have an agreement in your home where one of you does the laundry and the other person does the yard work. That is called a partnership and planned equilibrium of chores. It is fair, structured, and works. Learning this balance of responsibility is part of growing, learning, and living life. It is when one person is the only clean-up person while the other person is creating the messes that dealing with all the dirty laundry becomes a problem.

Teach your kids while they are young how to separate clothes by color, the difference between hot and cold water washing, and the correct temperature to dry shirts. Teach them that their dirty laundry is their responsibility and no one else’s. And most importantly, teach them that this lesson is not just about laundry.

Now, it is time to fold my towels.

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                                                 Pennie’s Life Lesson:
                         No one else is responsible for your dirty laundry,
​                                     and you are not responsible for theirs.
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YOUR TURN...        
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