​ANSWER THE PHONE CALL by Pennie Hunt

Pennie and her mom, Fern

“Are you ok?” My grandmother was on the other end of the phone call. It had been a couple of days since I lost my baby boy. She wanted to know if I was ok, and to let me know she was thinking of me even though she was over 1,000 miles away. She told me the story of how she lost a baby boy. She wanted me to know she understood. She wanted me to know I would be happy again, that she cared, and she loved me.

“What are you doing?” From the day I moved out on my own, my mom called me every day. Sometimes 3 times a day.  Her call always began the same way. She wanted to know what I was up to, how my kids were, and to hear my voice.

Her calls never stopped. If I didn’t answer, her voicemail always began with, “This is Mom,” as if I didn’t know. With age came dementia. Her calls were fewer. I would put my phone on speaker mode and patiently listen while she repeated her question over and over. “What are you doing?”

Now that I am a mom and grandma, I am the one making the phone calls. I try hard not to call every day, but I do call my children. I was thrilled when my grandchildren were old enough to have their own phones so I could call and text them too.

My children may roll their eyes when they see my name light up on their phone. They probably think- there she is again. That is what I used to do when I knew it was my mom calling me. It wasn’t until my children grew up and were living on their own that I had a revelation.

My mom wasn’t calling me to irritate me. She wasn’t being nosy. She wasn’t trying to be a nuisance. She was calling for 3 reasons. She wanted to know if I was happy. She wanted to know if I was safe and healthy. She wanted me to know she loved me.

Looking back, it is no coincidence that in my mom’s final years when she lived in assisted living, I used those same ideas with her. I always… always, told her we wanted her to be happy, healthy, and safe. I tried to always tell her I loved her.

Life has a funny way of circling around and repeating itself. My grandmother knew. My mother knew. And I know. The bond between moms and their children doesn’t stop when they grow up. The invisible, unbreakable golden thread of love connects our hearts. It reaches further and deeper than a phone line. We need to hear the voice of our child or grandchild. We need verification that they are ok. Safe. Healthy. Happy. We need them to feel loved.   

My mom has been gone for 7 years and my grandma for 43 years. I still remember their phone calls and wish I could have one more. Once you don’t have those calls anymore, you realize how lucky you were to have people who loved you enough to make them.

Today, be the one who cares enough to make the call. And if you are one of the lucky ones who has someone in your life that loves you…answer their phone call.
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                                                      Pennie’s Life Lesson:
                    Answer the phone call. It could be someone who loves you.
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