Good Enough 

It was 4 o’clock in the morning on September 17, 2007 when I wrote my son’s obituary.
I wrote about the twinkle in his eye he had when he was born.  I wrote about how he wore chaps and a cowboy hat when he was little and loved the “Three Amigos” movie.  I wrote about the home runs he hit in Little League and how to him the competition was less important than having fun.  I wrote about his talent with the guitar, drums and song writing.  I wrote about his sense of humor, his style and his big hugs and smile.  I wrote about his compassion for others, his love for his family and friends, and his pride for his daughter.

I didn't write about his flaws.  I didn't write about his missteps. I didn't write about his mistakes.  I didn't write that at times he felt like he was not “good enough.”

We all hold a secret space inside that we don’t feel good enough in one area or many.

We are not tall enough, thin enough, or beautiful enough.  

We are not educated enough, successful enough or powerful enough. 

We are not strong enough, eager enough or motivated enough.

We are not caring enough, loving enough or doing enough. 

We are not happy enough, healthy enough or holy enough.

By constantly comparing ourselves to what others are doing, we will live in the shadow of what we expect for ourselves.  The internal conversation goes like this: 

                      “They are better than me.  They expect me to be better.  I expect 
                             me to be better.”

Then our mind’s response is:

                      “Therefore I am not good enough to be loved AND I don’t even 
                            love myself.”

How do some people get past this and some don’t.  How do some hold the inspiration to succeed and some medicate it away with food, excessive exercise or drugs?

They learn what I call The Power of Cope and Hope. Let me share this concept.

COPE:  Accept the life gifts that cannot be changed.  If you are 5’ 2” you will never be 6’.  If you experience tragedy in your life you will never be able to return to the life as you knew it before.  If a loved one passes away you do not have the power to bring them back.

Some things you just do not have the authority to change.  Even tragedy, disappointment and crisis are the life gifts given to you.  They are not given to you as punishment.  They are given to you for the purpose of learning, loving and teaching. The challenges and heartbreaks in your life also hold the opposite value of love and gratitude.  You must learn to search for it.  In the process of accepting the gifts you are given you will learn to cope. Search for what is good and what you can be grateful for in every situation in your life.

HOPE: Hold hope that the things that can be changed will change.  If you don’t have an education today, know that you can achieve one in the future.  Are you struggling to gain a foot hold on a career path or finding the life partner you desire?  Be excited with every disastrous date you experience and every career door that is closed in your face.  This just means you are one date closer to the perfect life partner; one job interview closer to the job you are designed to do.  If you are in the darkness of depression or grief, know there is a light that will enter your life again.  If you are struggling with addiction, believe that you can follow the path of sobriety.  Hold hope as a given.  A knowing that while you stand in an undesirable space now, you won’t always be standing there. 

It is in understanding and practicing The Power of Cope and Hope that we begin to believe we ARE good enough.  The secret “I’m-not-good-enough” space we hold will fill with light to force out the fear of being less than anyone else.  We begin to understand that life is not something that happens to us - life is something that is given to us.  Our internal conversation will begin to be one of power, self-love and confidence. 

In the end it doesn't matter that we made mistakes or had missteps.  In the end, as in our beginning, we are all no better or less than another.  We are all born with a twinkle in our eye.  And, none of our obituaries will say that we were not good enough. 
                                                               ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pennie's Life Lesson: No one is better or less than another.
                                                   We are all Good Enough!
                                                              ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

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Breath of Green  

So often I hear people saying they are rushed, tired and overwhelmed. They are running from one meeting to the next, stressed about paying bills and worried about keeping others happy.

What they are ultimately doing is living in fear. Fear of being late.  Fear of not having enough money. Fear of disappointing others. And the BIG one -fear of not being good enough.

Do you see yourself in that scenario?  If so, here is something that always works for me.

Your mind cannot live in fear and love simultaneously.  Therefore, the answer is to increase love. This must begin by increasing the love inside of You!

Begin by understanding a new concept. Green is the color of love. Yes, Green! I know what you are thinking - wait a minute, what about red; the color of valentines, hearts and roses?

Chakras, or energy centers, are located at strategic points in the body and are aligned with a color value.  The heart Chakra is green and corresponds with unconditional love, compassion and healing.  Imagine a beautiful glowing emerald green circle that radiates around your heart.

To increase love in yourself, for yourself and for others, you must fill this energy center with love.  This will in turn multiply and fill you with love.  Love will then spill outwardly - to others and to every aspect of your life.

This is where my Breath of Green comes in.  How often do you see green? Green  is everywhere! When you see green take in a slow, deep breath.  As you do, visualize breathing in Green; breathing in Love. At first you may even say out loud or to yourself, "breathe in Love."

As you exhale imagine pushing out fear. Visualize fear as black, dirty, and ugly.  At first you may even say out loud or to yourself, "breathe out Fear."

This only takes a few seconds. Breathe in fresh clean love. Exhale painful fear.  With every breath you will feel calmer.  No one will even know you are doing it, but they will notice a change in you.  YOU will FEEL a change in you.

Soon you will begin to see green everywhere. Your eyes will begin searching for it.  A woman will walk into a meeting wearing a green sweater. A dog with a green leash will walk by you on the sidewalk. The menu at the lunch deli will have the special outlined in green.  The junk mail you are throwing away will be in a green envelope. You will see a green light as you are driving -Go now- breathe in love!

Make an effort to try this for one week.   Once you experience the cleansing of fear and feel the new calmness of love take over, you will want to continue this practice.
                                                      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 
Pennie’s Life Lesson: Love and fear are not compatible. Fill yourself with love in order to diminish fear.

                                                           All Rights Reserved
                                               Copyright © 2013 Pennie Hunt

THREE  WORDS

Can you describe yourself in three words?

How do you see yourself?

How do you believe others see you?

When I was asked these questions I thought of words like wife, mom, grandmother,  speaker, writer, but I wanted better words. I wanted words with more grandeur. I wanted words that carried with them not just a superficial description of looks or my job(s) in life, but a feeling, a purpose and a mission.

After weeks of rolling this idea through every wrinkle of my mind and struggling to create a short list of three, I decided I wasn't the most reliable person to ask.  I wanted to know how I was doing and if others would give me a passing grade or if I needed to study harder and practice more in order to be described in the way I hoped.

So, I sent out this email:

     Hello,
     I am working on a project and wonder if you would take a second to help     
     me out. It is easy - all I need you to do is send me a few adjectives that 
     you'd think of to honestly describe me. You can send me three or twenty 
     or as many you wish to share, but make it easy for you. No, this isn't one    
     of the silly email "forwards" -- I really am working on a project.
     Thank you so much in advance for doing this!
     Pennie


This is not an exercise for the faint of spirit. As I hit the send button, bubbles over my head began filling with words I wouldn't like.  What if the responses were negative? What if they were less than flattering? What if no one responded; what would that mean?

But there it was, heading through the mysteries of the Internet and landing smack in the middle of 100 computer screens!

I sent it to close friends and to acquaintances. I sent it to family members. I sent it to people who see me daily and ones who hadn't seen me in 10 years. I sent it to those who I was confident would say glowing things and I sent it to those who I feared might not. From young adolescents to legislators, they held my life image at their computer keyboards.

 I waited.

The first response came in minutes, other came weeks later. They came in clusters of pings to my computer and in single messages late in the night. They came in short emails with just three words.  They came in lists of adjectives depicting my impression on them with long elaborations of why they chose the words they did.  

The fear of what would be given me as the mirror of myself became a life opening experience. I was humbled by the response as an ultimate washing of appreciation and love came through in the words given to me. Some made me laugh. Some made me cry. Some made me cry more. Only three people asked me why I wanted to know.  It didn’t seem to matter.  They just responded.

I created a spread sheet to track the words. Repeated words were given a tally mark. The spreadsheet grew with a list of 197 words.  Very quickly 13 words began creating a pattern of repetition.   The top three winners were Caring, Thoughtful, and Kind.  These were followed closely with Compassionate, Honest, and Loving.

What a lesson I had learned!  These are simple words, but I realize these are my words of grandeur; my words of feeling, purpose and mission.  These are my words to live by.  Now I have a standard to uphold.  This is how others see me and I don’t want to let them down. 

What would your words be?                                                       
                                                        ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Pennie's Life Lesson: When you create a standard of compassion, kindness and love to live your life by- you will receive compassion, kindness and love from others.

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                                                 Copyright © 2013 Pennie Hunt

Basket of Burdens


I remember it well, following the small, quiet woman down the hallway that led to the candlelit room. She talked softly as she told me her name and explained how long she had been a massage therapist. As we reached the doorway, she paused and said,

“Before we go in you must leave your burdens here.”

She reached for a basket that was hanging next to the door. How did she know I was overflowing with worries? Burdens? I was holding more than would fit in her small basket. Was it that obvious? Were they clinging to the white cotton robe I wore like lint balls that you want to pick off before someone notices? Smiling at my puzzled, fearful expression she explained,

“The Native American Culture believes in leaving your worries at the door before you enter a place of peace. You must put your burdens in this basket, so our time together is free of worry, concern or despair. This will free your spirit and you will relax into clear serenity.”

I looked at her dark, sincere eyes and began mentally going through the list I carried: my father’s illness; work; family; appointments; bills; the list went on and on. I cupped my hand as if I were pouring these worries, and so many more, into the basket and silently hearing them clunking as they piled in. She smiled broadly as she saw the weight lift from me and become the duty of the basket.

For the next hour as I inhaled the smell of lavender and my muscles were relieved of their stress, I thought of the basket, the ritual, the splendor of it all. My mind had also been relieved of tension in a very real way. I left feeling warmer, lighter, happier. That evening I realized what I had forgotten. I had not stopped to gather my burdens from the basket as I left. Was I supposed to? Did I fail Burden Basket etiquette?

I couldn't forget the experience - The reverence I felt as the basket was explained to me, the seriousness of the ritual and the calmness as a result of the process.

I needed one. I needed a basket of my own. So I began searching.

It wasn't until several years later in a small shop in New Mexico that I found one. A Burden Basket! With great excitement I purchased it. Once I was home with my treasure, I hung it high at the entry of my meditation loft. I took joy in the dumping of my burdens before I would enter my quiet space. Now, it was more peaceful without the chatter -the irritating chatter of my worries.

And still, after years of this daily practice, I forget to gather my burdens as I leave the room.                                                          
                                                       ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Pennie's Life Lesson: Do not allow burdens to hold your mind, your heart or your home as their resting place. Remove them from your space of serenity.

                                                             All Rights Reserved
                                                    Copyright © 2013 Pennie Hunt