The Corner of Spirit & Brave

THE ROAD TO TRANQUILITY

9/23/2017

On the way to my home I turn a sharp corner.
I say sharp because if I didn’t make the turn I would drive right into a barricade. The special thing about the corner is the sign above the barricade. It says,
“Tranquility”
with an arrow pointing toward my home.

Every time I drive by the sign and make the turn I take a deep breath in agreement. My home is a place of safety, peace and, yes, tranquility.

For years I have called my home the, “House of Zen.”
From the moment I enter I am greeted with the serenity of water trickling over slate stones in my waterfall. There is no television on the main floor of my home and only the sound of serene music mixes with the water. The views from my windows are of nature in its glory. In every corner are items that bring me joy and comfort.
My home is my sanctuary.

How does your home create tranquility for you?
When you walk through the threshold do you feel safe? What do you need to do to create calmness and serenity?

You would be surprised as to how the littlest things can make a huge difference.
Think of your senses.... What you see, hear, smell, touch and taste in your home spurs feelings. Music, candles, water, fire, flowers, texture..... these are things that can change the entire feel of a home and create a place of tranquility.

Isn’t this the way we should feel as we are entering our private space?

As I turn the corner this in-my-face visual reminds me to leave all my worries, concerns and negative experiences at the corner.
When I turn onto that road to tranquility I am at peace.
I am at home.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie's Life Lesson:
“Home is your space for safety,
     peace and tranquility.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pennie Heart to Heart
The reason I wrote:
THE ROAD TO TRANQUILITY

My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to create a space of calm in your home... a place for you to feel safe and loved.

YOUR TURN - Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
[email protected].
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013-2017 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.
If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission please email: [email protected]

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HOW TO DEFRAG YOUR MENTAL CACHE

9/15/2017

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I was bemoaning the slowness of my computer, the unresponsiveness and the irritation of not being able to move through my work.

To put a stop to my whining my husband said,
“You need to clean out your cache and defrag.”

I love technology and yet I am admittedly not techy. I don’t care how or why it works -- I just want it to work. Seeing my irritated and puzzled face, he tried to clarify this in a way my I-don’t-care-how-or-why mind would understand.

He explained that the computer remembers every time I open a window whether it is a document or a website search. These memories begin to build up and create a bog in the computer that slows its speed and efficiency.

He said the computer organizes information in files and folders. Sometimes it doesn’t do this correctly so they become fragmented with wasted space disconnecting the information-- again slowing down the computer.

By defragging, the missed connections are joined back together in the proper way. By clearing the cache the buildup of junk memories on the computer is cleared to a clean slate. New memories can be made and it moves much smoother, faster and more effectively.

The visual of this stayed with me.

Don’t we all have a cache in our minds where we secretly store junk images and memories? While we unsuccessfully try to make sense of these, they become jumbled and out of order causing resentment and anger to build bogging US down and slowing the progress and advancement of our learning.

Our personal cache cleaning and defragmentation goes by a different term: forgiveness.

When we forgive we erase the secretly stored memories of perceived hurts and wrongdoings by others to us and our own perceived misconduct. We clear it to a clean slate. The good images that were fragmented between these stored junk memories are then able to join together in a smooth easy to process way.

So much of what happens in life we cannot control. But, what we hold inside we want to control. We carry life stories replaying them in the hopes of changing the way the stories end. This magnifies the bad memories reinforcing anger and hurt while avoiding the fact that the ending will not change.

By cleaning our mental cache through forgiveness we release the power these memories hold over us. Our minds and hearts are cleared of the negative emotions attached to the event or person we hold anger for. We release the need for control and the notion of changing the story’s ending. Our hearts and minds are lighter, happier and healthier. And, like my computer, we will have a clean slate to fill with new memories.

Is it time to defrag and clean your mental cache?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie's Life Lesson:
“Forgiveness clears your mind and heart,
freeing you to fill the open space with new loving memories.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pennie Heart to Heart
The reason I wrote:
HOW TO DEFRAG YOUR MENTAL CACHE

My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to clear out unwanted and unneeded memories!

YOUR TURN - Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
[email protected].
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013-2017 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.
If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission please email: [email protected]

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TEN YEARS

9/9/2017

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TEN YEARS

Sitting in my car I look up at the apartment in front of me.
Top floor.
Center window.
Looking for answers, memories, for him.

It’s been ten years.
Ten years since my son lived there.
Ten years since he tickled me with his beard and gave me one of his giant bear hugs.
Ten years since I have heard his guitar and his voice.
Ten years since I walked past the yellow caution tape and through the door in search of a “feeling” of him.
Ten years since I packed his things into boxes.
Ten years since grief and pain invaded my body.
It’s been ten years since I wrote my son’s obituary.

My son was pure magic.
He was funny, talented, caring and kind.
He turned heads with his infatuating energy and turned hearts with his never ending love.

He died in that apartment.
He was an addict.

I felt desperately alone.
Addiction is a circle of shame – for the addict and the family.
His very inner circle of family and friends knew.
Only MY very inner circle of family and friends knew.

His addiction was kept private.
No one knew he smoked pot for the first time when he was 12.
No one knew the first rehab was when he was 16.
No one knew he became addicted to an anti-anxiety drug a doctor prescribed for him.
No one knew he went to rehab the second time.
No one knew he began using prescription drugs again after having his wisdom teeth pulled and prescribed pain medication.
No one knew he went to rehab the third time.
No one knew how hard he tried to get better.
No one knew the cycle, the rollercoaster, the nightmare.

No one knew his pain or mine.
No one knew what caused his death.

The rumors, the gossip, the questions only made waiting for the autopsy more difficult.
It didn’t make sense to me, but I wanted to believe it when I read:
     CAUSE OF DEATH- Bronchopneumonia.

I locked the rest of the report in my home safe and in the safety of my heart. I didn’t want to say out loud that there was Methadone in his system within the normal toxic range, but it was also in the therapeutic range for treatment.
I didn’t want to see the small amount of Diazepam (Valium) in his system. Both prescribed to him.

I have learned that toxicology reports are only accurate if done swiftly. If there is a delay the results are skewed. In these cases the cause is almost always reported as- Bronchopneumonia. My son’s autopsy was not conducted until four days after he passed.

For most of these years I have only spoken about the details with very select people, in private settings of safety.

After ten years, it is time for me to stand in the truth.
My son was an addict.
Addiction and drugs killed him.

The image of an addict as someone found lying in an alley with a needle in their arm needs to be redefined.
Addicts are our brothers, our sisters, our parents, our best friends and our children. They are on every level of economic status and emotional strength. They collide with addiction in an infinite number of ways.

I’ve spoken to rehab groups.
I’ve met with parents of addicts.
I’ve held the hands of others who have lost children.
I have quietly watched the reports of more and more dying. More and more families struggling. More and more people criticized, shamed and shunned for suffering from addiction.

The struggle is real.
My son was not alone.
His story is the story of so many others.

We need to talk about it. We need to build a better network of ‘immediate’ treatment and support. We need to celebrate success and recovery in the same way we celebrate winning a battle with cancer… knowing that recurrence is possible, but support and hope never fades.

This epidemic needs to stop!
No one should have to hide behind shame and stigma when they desperately need help.

No sister should have to tattoo her brother’s memory on her wrist.
No brother should have to lose his best friend.
No Mom should have to write her child’s obituary.
No parent should have to close another casket.

I look up at the apartment in front of me. Top floor.
Center window.
Looking for answers, memories, for him.

I think of a conversation I had with my oldest son after the funeral.
     “Mom, what will we do when it’s been
     ten years and we forget him?”
My answer was the same that day as it is today,
     “Oh, honey, ten years is a long, long
   time, but we will never forget him!”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
“No matter how long it takes to stand in your truth, step past the fear and stand in the light.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~

LINKS TO SPREAD AWARENESS AND HELP

Please visit and share this link to Celebrating Lost Loved Ones. A map to build awareness and celebrate the magical lives lost to this epidemic:
http://arcg.is/2dduJah

In memory of my J.T. 1985-2007
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pennie Heart to Heart
The reason I wrote: TEN YEARS

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
My intent in sharing this with you is to speak your truth - especially if it can help others!

YOUR TURN - Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
[email protected].
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013-2017 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.
If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission please email: [email protected]

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IMPORTANT ENOUGH

9/3/2017

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IMPORTANT
     ENOUGH

I didn’t feel quite right when I woke up, but I had a “To Do” list that was heavier than the increased throbbing of my head.

I hustled through my shower and scurried my two dogs to the groomer. I met a friend for a quick breakfast and then my plan included grocery shopping, blog writing, cleaning out a closet… the list went on.

My husband would be returning from a trip just in time to make our dinner reservations. It was a busy day.

But none of that happened.
My stomach immediately began swirling after breakfast and my body quickly began a downward spiral.
I am not one to get sick.
I NEVER get sick.

Well, more accurately, I NEVER allow myself the time to be sick. Typically I push through days like this ignoring the discomfort of a headache or a cold. Rarely do I ever admit that I don’t feel well.

I decided I would go back home and lay down for an hour and then I would be fine and right back into my list.
I called my husband and told him my plan. He said,
     “Why put an hour limit on it…
   just go back to bed until you feel better.”

It was a head game for a while with that voice telling me,
     you don’t feel that bad,
     you have things to do,
     people depending on you..
     get up ….GET UP!

The concept of actually allowing myself time to heal was foreign to me, but as the hour turned into two and my body was continuing into a dark circle of ugliness I conceded.

I was going to do it this time.
I was going to sink into the safety of my bed allowing my body to heal instead of pushing it as if it wasn’t important enough to take care of..as if "I" wasn’t important enough to take care of.

My husband called and said he was coming home early to pick up the dogs, cancel the dinner reservation and take care of everything. The urge to argue was muffled by my meek, “ok.”
I needed help.

My head sunk further into the comfort of my pillow and my body deepened into the cocoon of my bed. I allowed myself to rest.

After 7 hours I attempted hot tea, a piece of toast and juice.
Then it was back to my bed for 12 hours.

As the sun came up on day two I moved to the couch. The concept of being vertical was not yet in my body’s plan.

Although I encourage others to practice self-care, sometimes I am not very good at it myself. After 48 hours of blurred memories are behind me one concept became very clear.
It is ok to ask for help.
It is ok to be sick.
It is ok to allow your body time to rest, restore and heal.
I am important enough to be taken care of.   ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie Life Lesson:
“Listen to your body. Allow yourself time to rest, restore and heal.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pennie Heart to Heart
The reason I wrote: IMPORTANT ENOUGH

My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself. Allow yourself time to heal.

YOUR TURN - Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
[email protected].
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013-2017 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.
If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission please email: [email protected]

0 Comments

THE ROAD TO TRANQUILITY

Pennie Heart to Heart
The reason I wrote:
THE ROAD TO TRANQUILITY

HOW TO DEFRAG YOUR MENTAL CACHE

Pennie Heart to Heart
The reason I wrote:
HOW TO DEFRAG YOUR MENTAL CACHE

TEN YEARS

LINKS TO SPREAD AWARENESS AND HELP

In memory of my J.T. 1985-2007
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pennie Heart to Heart
The reason I wrote: TEN YEARS

IMPORTANT ENOUGH

Pennie Heart to Heart
The reason I wrote: IMPORTANT ENOUGH

Author

Archives

Categories

THE ROAD TO TRANQUILITY

Pennie Heart to HeartThe reason I wrote:​​THE ROAD TO TRANQUILITY

HOW TO DEFRAG YOUR MENTAL CACHE

​Pennie Heart to HeartThe reason I wrote:​HOW TO DEFRAG YOUR MENTAL CACHE

TEN YEARS

LINKS TO SPREAD AWARENESS AND HELP

In memory of my J.T. 1985-2007 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pennie Heart to HeartThe reason I wrote:​ TEN YEARS

IMPORTANT ENOUGH

​Pennie Heart to HeartThe reason I wrote:​ IMPORTANT ENOUGH

Author

Archives

Categories

Pennie Heart to Heart
The reason I wrote:
THE ROAD TO TRANQUILITY

Pennie Heart to Heart
The reason I wrote:
HOW TO DEFRAG YOUR MENTAL CACHE

In memory of my J.T. 1985-2007
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pennie Heart to Heart
The reason I wrote: TEN YEARS

Pennie Heart to Heart
The reason I wrote: IMPORTANT ENOUGH