 I am known as the happiness lady. My mission in life is three words: To Help Others. I teach you how to love your life- No Matter What! I share tips and techniques to bring love, gratitude, joy and happiness into your life in an effort to uplift and support you. But, my friends, as I write this my heart is hurting. We have spent years watching the death count rise from a pandemic. Fires and tornados rage through our country, destroying entire communities. The nightly news shows us the faces of fear as the reality of war is brought into our living rooms. Our friends and family members leave for church, school or grocery shopping and never return. Support for mental illness and the opioid crisis is not keeping up with the emotional devastation and loss of life it causes. The economy and stock market are sinking pulling with it savings, dreams and security. Civility, kindness, empathy and compassion have become words with weakened meaning. Our world is grieving. I know something about grief. I have written obituaries, planned funerals, fallen to my knees from the phone calls of death and laid battered, bruised, and broken in a puddle of helpless hopelessness. I have said goodbye to friends and wiped tears from the eyes of their families. I have held my Dad’s hand as he left this life and presented my Mom’s eulogy. I have left the hospital carrying an empty blanket that should have held my baby and stood over an oak box that held my 22-year-old son. Both times, I sobbed with the pain no mother should feel. I have walked the road of divorce, lost jobs, and said goodbye to pets that marked my heart as deeply as family. I know what hurts the heart, what cracks it open. I know how that hurt allows pain, disappointment, regret, fear, anger, guilt, and all the emotions associated with loss and grief to creep in. I can recite for you the stages of grief that the experts teach- denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I have zigzagged through all of them. Grief is not a journey we choose, but it is a journey few of us escape. Once touched by grief we realize there is no cure or magic potion that allows us to ‘get over’ it. We learn to walk a picket fence with grief waiting for us to fall off into our fragile brokenness. Our world is grieving. Our world is bouncing through the stages of denial, anger, depression and back again. We try to understand. We ask the unanswerable questions. Yes, I am known as the happiness lady. I live in a space of optimism and hope, however, I am not so naïve that I believe that all of this can be fixed with positive thinking. But, I do have hope for our world’s grieving heart. I hope the world never reaches the stage of acceptance where the current emotional and physical traumas become the acceptable norm. We should never forget or ‘get over’ this grief, but we will learn to carry it. I hope that we all walk this path of grief and loss mindfully and with love and gratitude. I hope that our journey through this grief and loss will be gentle to each of our hearts and souls. I hope the healing will begin. I hope a day comes when we say that time has truly helped to heal our world’s broken heart- well, at least mend it back together. Our world is grieving. Friends, we are all grieving. I hope that kindness, compassion and empathy become our strongest emotions. I hope that as you move forward in this grief that you have the strength to reach out to help others with theirs. And I hope that we once again learn to love our lives- No Matter What! Pennie’s Life Lesson: Our world is grieving. It is time to heal together. YOUR TURN...
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2022 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.
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 Change. Do you love it? Do you hate it? I believe there are two types of change. The first kind you initiate yourself. I love to rearrange furniture and paint my walls new colors every few years. I become restless when I have lived in the same house for too long. I love the excitement of changing environments. I initiate these changes. Some people live in the same home for 50 years and are uncomfortable if their favorite chair is moved to the other side of the room. They don’t want or like change. At times we initiate big changes in our lives. Like a butterfly must break away from a tightly woven cocoon it created, at times we must break away and change a life circumstance that is of our own making and move to a new situation. This kind of career, relationship or personal change can be painful and hard work. Once you have changed from the feeling of being bound in a tight cocoon to an open lighter space, you will see how necessary the change was. Some people stay in the same job, relationship or living conditions for a lifetime. They are not happy or living up to their potential, but they are frightened of change. They will not initiate change because the unknown is uncomfortable. They will stay in a cocooned space even though they know it is stifling, unhealthy or dangerous because they are too afraid of the uncertainty that comes with change. The second type of change is the kind that is forced into your life. A house fire can force a relocation. Company downsizing can force a job loss. A partner may leave your relationship which initiates change for them, but forces change on you. An accident or diagnosis can force a change in health that limits physical abilities. The shocking phone call that brings devastating news of the loss of a loved one, forces an instant change to your world. No one likes the forced change. No one expects it. No one greets it with open arms. One thing that is certain about life is the impermanence of it. Everything that begins has an ending. A joyful event does not last forever. The most painful times will pass. Every experience ultimately vanishes from our current reality and becomes a memory. Whether you love change or hate change, I believe the happiest, healthiest people are the ones that can accept and adapt to change. We will all enjoy happy times. We will all eventually see gray hair and wrinkles in the mirror. We will all say goodbye to loved ones. Change is the natural order of life. There is always light after darkness and darkness after light. This is the ebb and flow of living. We will all be the initiators of change. We will all have change thrust upon us like a dark downpour of a sudden thunderstorm. We must learn to expect change. We must learn to adapt to the storms as they come and accept the sunshine when we can. Pennie’s Life Lesson: The happiest, healthiest people are the ones that can accept and adapt to change. YOUR TURN...
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2022 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.  I’m a natural smiler. I smile all the time. Some people don’t. At 6’5” my husband’s size is intimidating. His natural serious expression adds to this intimidating appearance and can unintentionally make him appear angry, annoyed or uninterested. Recently, when I was encouraging him to SMILE, he responded with, “I am smiling on the inside. No one ever taught me how to smile on the outside.” As babies, we are taught to walk by repeatedly being stood in front of open arms and encouraged to move our feet in clumsy toddler fashion until we move across the room. If we don’t succeed, we feel and are reinforced that it “feels better” to walk than to fall. Were you taught to smile in the same way? Were you taught how to raise the corners of your mouth to form one smile after another like putting one foot in front of the other to walk? We aren’t taught that even the slightest lift of the corners of our mouths lessens the creases in our foreheads, removes the heaviness on our face, and allows our eyes to sparkle. We aren’t taught that a smile is a gift we give ourselves and the easiest gift to give to others. It is almost guaranteed that if you give one you will receive one in return. We aren’t taught that smiles have the power to change someone’s day, to lift a heart and to share love in a spontaneous way. We aren’t taught that a pleasant resting face with the hint of a smile creates a welcoming persona when others see you. We aren’t taught that a full-out smile when you meet people makes them feel important and ‘seen.” We aren’t taught that a smile opens doors, opens opportunities and opens hearts.” We aren’t taught that it “feels better” to smile. I am giving you the SMILE CHALLENGE. For one week practice smiling like you do any other health routine like exercise, brushing your teeth or sleeping. Three times a day stand in front of a mirror and lift the corners of your mouth. At first, you may have to use your two index fingers to push those corners up, but I promise you they WILL move! Try variations of how you smile. A pleasant grin. A happy beam. A full-out show-all-your-teeth smile. Then throughout the day let yourself smile. Smile at strangers as you pass them. Smile at the sunshine. Smile to and for yourself when you are alone. It just Feels Better to smile! Pennie’s Life Lesson: A smile opens doors, opens opportunities and opens hearts. YOUR TURN...
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2022 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.  I was excited to see her. I passed through the double doors, down the hall and into the dining room. I knew lunch should be almost done, so it would be a great time to have a nice visit. Tiny and frail, she was sitting at a table in the middle of the room - alone. I walked up to her, smiled and said, “Hi, did I miss lunch?” I knew it would be a surprise, not because I hadn’t told her I was coming, but because her memory could only hold thoughts for about 10 minutes before they disappeared. Since she moved into the assisted living facility, I had traveled 6 hrs from my home to visit her every chance I could. Every time I told her when I would be there. Every time when she saw me she would clap her hands, unfold a full-face smile and react as if I was the biggest surprise she had ever received. This time was different. She looked up from her plate with no excitement or surprise. Confusion crinkled her face as she raised her hand and used her pointed index finger to paint a circle in the air around my face. This emphasized the comment she was about to crush into my heart. “I think I know you, but I don’t know your name.” I knew this day was coming. The day that dementia would win. The day she would no longer know me. It was her finger in my face that flashed my memories. The memories of a mom who would shake her finger with a strong, “no, no, no” when I toddled over to touch something breakable or dangerous. The finger that she raised in my face when at 13 I whined and complained that I wanted to be older and do the fun things my siblings could do. Her finger shook in my face as she told me to never wish my life away- it would pass way too quickly on its own. It was the finger that tickled the tummies of my babies and tapped the noses of her great-grandchildren. It was the finger that adjusted the oxygen machine levels for my dad as he was dying. It was the finger that always added power to her lectures that began with, “Let me tell you something,” and ended with a profound proclamation of her opinion about life. It was the finger that pointed to her entire family as she aged reminding us that we were not the boss of her. I froze. I couldn’t breathe. The painful crack caused by watching the mom I knew disappear broke deeper through my heart. I reached for her finger, folding it in so that our hands clasped together. She was always proud of her hands. She informed everyone that her doctor said she has very young hands - much younger than the almost 90 years old that she was. Her nails were always manicured and the rings she was so proud of sparkled on her delicate fingers. I helped her stand and told her I would walk to her apartment with her. The lump in my throat was thick with fear. I wondered if she was gone forever. If I would always be a stranger, a visitor that occasionally stopped by. I chatted about the weather and how good she looked, while arm-in-arm we walked the hallway to her apartment. She sat in her chair by the window. The topic changed to her bird feeder and the number, color and size of the birds visiting her that day. An hour had passed when she looked away from the birds and matched her eyes with mine. Her blank stare turned to a smile, she clapped her hands and her eyes twinkled as she said, “I’m so happy you are here!” I hugged her burying my tears in the shoulder of her shirt and told her I was happy too. In that second my mom was back. She knew me! The month of May brings Mother’s Day, her birthday and a lifetime of memories. I can still see her hands as she raised that finger to my face and reminded me to not wish my life away. In my heart, I always wished her life would last forever. I will honor her wishes and do the best I can to enjoy life, not rush time and I will forever be happy that she was here.
YOUR TURN...
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2022 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information. |
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