When was the first time you felt like you belonged somewhere? Does the memory push you all the way back to your childhood? Your family? Elementary school? When was the last time you felt like you didn’t belong? Was it recent? Were you embarrassed? Sad? Lonely? Afraid? Are you part of a group, a team, a school, a club, a crew, a tribe, a family, a religion, a generation or a community? Of course you are. We are all affiliated in some way to a collection of others with a common interest or bond. Humans have a need for inclusion and connection. We fear and avoid isolation. So we join. We conform. We wear the uniform. We know the handshake, the secret knock on the door and the private password. We are taught to mirror the actions and mannerisms of another person so they accept us as a reflection of themselves. We want acceptance and approval. We want to fit in. It is why as a teenager you may have tasted your first beer when you were at a party with friends. You probably hated it but kept sipping it until the taste was tolerable. You felt like you belonged. You felt like you were part of the cool kids. We mimic the actions of others because we don’t feel worthy to be accepted and included unless we do. We adapt and accept the expectations that the group has for us to be a member. Some of this is necessary. In kindergarten we learned how to stand in line, raise our hand, wait our turn and share in order to function in a space of civility and kindness. As we grew, we learned the basics of polite and compassionate living to be accepted as a member of our human society. For many people the need to belong is an instinct - a requirement for human survival. It can push us to act in ways that feel uncomfortable or are out of character. When we bend and mold ourselves to be such a contorted version of who we are that we don’t recognize our own reflection in the mirror, it becomes a problem. What if we could be ourselves? Our crazy, goofy, wild authentic self? What if we looked at each other not with our eyes, but with our hearts? Can you drop the expectation you hold for yourself and others and be open to the exploration of who YOU are… of who THEY are? Stand in your own light and learn to accept yourself. Find the people who will see YOU and love YOU. You may lose some people from your life who only liked you for who you were pretending to be. But when you step into your light and let yourself free to be who you really are, you will attract the people who should be standing with you. You will attract the people that love and adore the real you. You won’t have to work so hard to fit in. You will finally feel like you belong in a way you never have before. Pennie’s Life Lesson: When you allow yourself to be the authentic person you really are, you will attract the people you are meant to be with. YOUR TURN...
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2022 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.
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I fell down. I am not sure how, but my entire body fell to the ground. My knees took a hard hit followed by the rest of my body as it stretched out on the dirty concrete sliding (less than gracefully) until I put my hands out to stop myself. My suitcase and purse fell over next to me. Lying on my belly, arms reaching forward and my legs behind in a childlike Slip-n-Slide position. I was confused and stunned. There were no signs of a hole or bump, nothing that I slipped on. I just fell down. One minute I was thanking the shuttle driver, handing him a tip, pushing my suitcase and the next minute I was flat on the dirty concrete. I felt like a fish that had just been taken out of the safety of its pond and thrown floundering on the shore. I quickly got up, told the shuttle driver I was fine and moved toward the curbside check in. Every step I took was slow and precise. After dropping my suitcase off I found the first rest room in the airport to see if my knees were intact under my jeans and wash the dirt off my red sore hands. Minor scratches were all my body incurred, but my ego and confidence were silently damaged. I sat on the plane during my flight reliving what happened. How it happened and why it happened. I didn’t have the answers, but I knew I felt vulnerable. I am grateful that I wasn’t really hurt. I know a broken wrist is common when you put your hands out to stop a fall. The way my knees hit I could have damaged them. I could have hit my head. My scuffed knees and sore hands will heal and my confidence and ego will recover. We have all fallen in many different ways. Falls happen in life. Most happen when we least expect it. We don’t see it coming. We aren’t prepared. The best we can do is slide through it as gracefully as possible, pick ourselves up, wash our hands and keep going. This is how we learn. It is in the falling, failing and floundering that we move forward. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie’s Life Lesson: “When you fall down in life, pick yourself up, wash your hands and keep going.” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie Heart to Heart FREE FALLING YOUR TURN... My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to understand that we all fall in life- in may areas, work, relationships, personal expectations.... it is how we get up, shake it off and move forward that counts. Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.
This is a "Pennies From The Past" that I wrote in 2013. On September 13, 2018 I will have been in the water 11 years... and still I wear my life vest.
LIFE VEST
I was forced in the water 5 years, 8 months and 5 days ago. She was pushed recently. I met her last month. Immediately, I saw the ache in her eyes as we spoke; the hurt that hides behind the everyday chit chat and smiles. I know too well how to recognize the look of buried pain that is in the eyes of every grieving parent. We shared photographs. We all carry one. Some are wrinkled and worn and some are sealed in protective covers to keep them safe. I noticed the care she took when I handed her the picture of my son, J.T. and the loving way she brushed her fingers over it. I silently thanked her for that. I did the same with her photograph. We parents with angel children understand that the love we send them does not stop just because they are not physically here with us. Our stories are different, and yet the same. The love we feel for our children. The pain we feel without them. The memories, the "did-that's”, the "wish-we-could's," the missing and the wanting all roll into one similar pond of pain. I am further in the water than she is. The hot and cold of it, the swirling and splashing is a continual dance of how we maneuver without drowning. The trick is to do it with the grace and balance required to keep our heads above water -and breathing--always breathing. At times I have fought the water current and at times I have floundered reaching for a life vest. The life vest has become one I wear secretly like bullet proof protection under my clothes with the hope that nothing this painful will ever penetrate my heart again. I continue forward. I see others in the distance, with well-worn life vests, who have maneuvered the water much longer than I have. I feel comfort in knowing they are leaving a trail to follow. I turn to see the ones behind me as they wade in, stumbling and unsure if they will survive the voyage. I reach my hand back to steady them as the waves hit, listen to them as they cry and help them position their life vests. After 5 years, 8 months and 5 days I have learned to swim a little better. But, I will always wear my life vest. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie's Life Lesson: “Sometimes we need a life vest and sometimes we can be a life vest for others.” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
YOUR TURN...
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to reach out to others going through a difficult experience-- one that you have lived through! Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below . And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.
Q-Tip It!
Years ago when my husband and I were dating I learned a powerful lesson. He would occasionally say something like, “I need a couple of days.” Of course I immediately took this personally and thought something was wrong. I would call him and stop by his house to see if he was okay, after all I must have said or done something to upset him. He would assure me I hadn't and that it didn't have anything to do with me or “us.” I soon realized he was right. It didn't have anything to do with me. We just have different ways of recharging. He needs downtime. He needs a quiet respite to rest, relax and regenerate. For me, when I need recharging I feed on the energy of being with people. Talking, laughing and companionship regenerates me, so of course when he would tell me he needed time to himself I felt pushed away. I took it personally. How many times in life do we take things personally and the reality is that it has nothing to do with us? Whenever a stressful situation occurs many of us default immediately to the negative. We blame ourselves. Let’s look at it differently. Let go of the immediate assumption and realize it isn't always about us…it could always be something else that causes someone to be cranky, in a hurry or snap at us. Here is a trick to help with this self-inflicted internalization of stress. Q-tip it! Yes, Q-tip it! Quit Taking It Personally! As a reminder, take a couple of Q-Tips and tape them to your computer, your bathroom mirror, or your car visor. Look at them often and when something happens in life that sets off your internal blame game, remember to Q-Tip it! The lesson I learned from my (now) husband all those years ago has saved me from many hours of needless worry. It isn't always about me. And guess what, now we recharge using what works for both of us. We recharge together, laughing, talking and in the quiet space of each other’s companionship. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie’s Life Lesson: “When the stress of life sets off your internal blame game, Q-tip it! Quit Taking It personally!” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
YOUR TURN...
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to think about why things upset you... are you taking it personally when it has nothing to do with you? Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below . And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.
Dear friends and subscribers to the Pennie Hunt blog,
Today I want to let you know that this week’s writing will be a “Pennie’s from the Past”. Pennie continues to be on hiatus due to injuries she suffered in a serious car crash on June 11th. Fortunately, prior to the accident, Pennie taught me how to access her website and social media accounts so that I could make posts on her behalf for circumstances such as this. I hope you enjoy this post from 2016 titled, “The Lost Day”. Pennie sends along her love to each and every one of you. Ken (Pennie’s husband, and her #1 fan)
I lost my day.
It began in the normal way. Alarm. Glass of water. Cup of coffee. Work out. Shower. Then... I lost it. My day became an endless loop of wondering what I should do. Not wanting to do anything. Feeling disappointed in myself that I wasn’t accomplishing, achieving or making an impact, I walked from window to window looking out at the world feeling lost. I didn’t have a plan for the day. I was uneasy. Restless. Uncertain. And then, it was over. I lost my day. Now, holding a brand new day in my grasp and enjoying all that comes with it I look back on that day and realize I occasionally experience what I call A Lost Day. A day lost in time that I wasted. I’m not talking about a day spent reading or relaxing, which I find necessary to rejuvenate both mind and soul and is far from wasted. ALost Day is spent spinning and twirling in indecision. Not being able to focus on a desire. In my self-analyzation I uncovered this... I was raised in a military family where it was ingrained in my DNA to work hard, accomplish and achieve. I often times find myself at the end of a day spewing a list of "completion". From laundry to writing I do a mental review of what I did to add value during the day. Could it be possible if I don’t“do” I must not be of value? Our minds are funny little puzzles consisting of pieces created at birth with more picked up as we journey through life. We maneuver the unchangeable ones to create a frame. All other misshaped pieces are turned and tried until they fit together to create the picture of our lives. Over time we may crinkle and bend a piece or two and might even lose one, but the frame remains the landing pad. The secret code of our belief system’s DNA. Here is the thing... although I was raised with the core value of hard work and accomplishment I was never taught that without doing that I was not of value. That became one of the internal puzzle pieces that my mind created and connected to another piece as I built my life. So of course when I have a day of spinning in indecision I feel useless and wasteful. I experience the frustration of a Lost Day. The next time I experience a Lost Day I will at least understand what is happening. I will try to lean into it with the knowing of why and the understanding of my emotions. As I write this, I sit in self-satisfaction for solving the puzzle. Finding the piece that skews my life picture. Today I accomplished! I achieved! I made an impact - if only in my own life. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie's Life Lesson: “Pay attention to the puzzle pieces that create the picture of your life. Don’t force pieces to fit that don’t belong.” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to think about the puzzle pieces you have allowed into the frame of your life. How have you included negative, unhealthy ones to guide your feelings and emotions?
YOUR TURN Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below . And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ EMOTIONAL BENEFITS We are all on a search for "Emotional Benefits." We all freely give "I love you's" with the expectation that we will receive an I love you in return. Everything we do, say, act on or experience is with the expectation of making us feel good, feel happy, feel important or feel loved. Our need to connect and belong is a driver in life. Emotional benefit is attached. Why do you think our world is so dependent on the buzzing of our cell phones? Because with every vibrational Tweet, every chiming phone call and every new friend request on Facebook we feel loved, needed, and wanted. We act with our heart and grab the phone! Emotional benefit is attached. Unfortunately, we do very little in life without the expectation of reciprocity. We have learned this mutual give and take expectation throughout our life. If I pick you for the volley ball team, Iexpect you will pick me next time. If I invite you to lunch, I expect you to invite me to lunch. If I FRIEND you on Facebook, I expect you to Friend me. If I tell you I love you, I expect you to tell me you love me. We expect this mutual exchange. Emotional benefit is attached. Imagine if we took the expectation out of the equation. Imagine if we friended, liked and loved just for the joy of friending, liking and loving. Imagine joyfully giving without the expectation of an obligatory comparable response. I believe the real law of reciprocity should be based on our intent. If your intent is ~ I will do this in order to receive that in return -- then you are living your life in a self-centered way. If your intent is ~ I will do this with no expectation of return -- then you are living your life in an other-centered way. You are making more deposits in the bank of emotional benefits than you expect to withdraw. Then the magic happens. By changing the expectation of reciprocity, the Emotional Benefit we give to others will increase. The conditions of the game will be removed. Your own Emotional Benefit account will begin to overflow. It will become clear that by acting with our heart in an other-centered way the search for our own Emotional Benefits will begin and end with making others feel good, happy, important and loved. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie's Life Lesson: “Unconditionally give and love for the joy of giving and loving.” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie Heart to Heart |
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