 When I was a child, my friendships were created by walking together to school, sitting next to each other in the cafeteria, and being chosen for the kickball team at recess. Later in my life, I remember having coffee with my friends as our babies played nearby and I wouldn’t think of going a day without talking to my friend on the phone. I made friends sitting next to other mom’s as our children played soccer and baseball. I have had coworkers that became close confidants and soul connections. Now in our fast-paced world do we know what having a close friend is? Do we confuse friendship with acquaintance? Is friendship defined by a blue thumbs up on social media? Do these cartoon thumbs really represent a person that touches our heart or are many of them there for self-acknowledgment – the more the better. I asked the question- “What is your definition of a Friend?” to a progression of ages. A 6- year old answered, “They are nice, funny.” A 9-year-old responded with, “They are nice and they like who you are, not for how you look but for who you are.” A 12-year-old reacted with, “Best pal, your forever buddy, someone who will be there if times get tough.” Another 12-year-old replied, “Friendship is a bond that can’t easily be broken. Friends know what you’re going to say/do before you do it. They know what you are feeling.” A 17-year-old quickly reacted with, “Friends are people that are loyal to each other.” A 47-year-old answered, “Friends are people who make your problems their problems so you don’t have to go through it alone.” A 69-year-old said, “Someone I am always there for and they are always there for me.” An 86-year-old said thoughtfully, “I tend to like people I have always been friends with. If you live to be old and can count your friends on the fingers of one hand- great! If you have more, that’s a bonus!” An 87-year-old answered – “Somebody that you can rely on to ask personal questions and she won’t tell anyone else and you do things together.” I would agree with all these definitions. My definition would be someone that I hold mutual support, encouragement and trust with. Someone I can laugh with and cry with. Someone, the first one, I would call at 2 AM to tell good news or bad. Friendship morphs, grows stagnates, and disintegrates during different stages and circumstances in life. There are many reasons for the ebb and flow, closeness or detachment of a friendship. Location plays a huge role. As a child moving across town changes the dynamic of friendship. For me, growing up in a military family moves across the country plunked me into new schools and new populations. I learned how to make friends on the playground or stand alone. Divorce will create a situation of dividing property, belongings and yes, friends. As we age, death and illness become a reality of life. Friends may pass away before us or become physically or mentally unable to participate in a friendship. I have lived many places and I have had many friendships. Some are lasting like my oldest friend in life – shout out to Kristi. Some have faded due to relocation. Some have been shattered from broken trust. Some have been lost through division of divorce and separation of death. I wonder if, as our friend circle shrinks, should we be trying to make new friends? Or is my small inner circle of trusted friends enough. No matter where you are in this cycle of life or what your definition of a friend is my hope for you is that you have at least one. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie’s Life Lesson “When you find a friend hold them close to your heart. A true friendship should be valued and honored.” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie Heart to Heart WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU MADE A NEW FRIEND?? YOUR TURN...
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to note who your friends are. How many do you have? Are they real friends or acquaintances? Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2019 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.
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 This is the way the conversation went... “Who orders the pizza?” “Well, she calls and orders it.” “No, I mean who decides what kind of pizza to order?” “We always have sausage.” “Does she like sausage?” “Sure, I guess.” “But you are not sure. Maybe she is conceding to you. Maybe she is resenting it.” Later he asked me, “What kind of pizza do you like?” I had to think about it and it took me a while to answer. I had picked sausage off the pizza for so long I didn’t remember what kind of pizza I really did like. I don’t think this is an uncommon scenario. Many times it is easier to concede and let another person have what they want. We do it out of love for them. We do it out of avoidance- we don’t want to argue. We do it because it really doesn’t matter that much to us. On the other side, it is easy not to notice that someone is always giving in to our needs. That their needs may not be being met. That resentment may be building under the facade of agreement. What is the “pizza” in your life - in your relationships? When we begin paying attention to this kind of give and take.... Or "give and give" situation, it becomes obvious that there are solutions. Simple solutions. My husband and I now order two pizzas. One sausage for him. One chicken and pineapple for me. Yes, I LOVE chicken and pineapple on my pizza. Preferably with extra sauce and extra cheese. The solution was so easy. Now we both get what we want. There is no conceding. There is no resentment. And there are always leftovers for lunch the next day. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie’s Life Lesson ~ “Pay attention to “give and take” vs “give and give” situations in life. Don’t be afraid to order your own pizza!” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie Heart to Heart WHO ORDERS THE PIZZA YOUR TURN...
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to pay attention to when you are involved in a give and give situation. What solutions are there? Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2019 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information. When I was pregnant, I wrote love letters to my babies. After they were born, I continued this on their birthdays, Christmas or other days that I felt I had something to share with them. Some were ushy, gushy with words of adoration. Some were letters of frustration when I felt like I was failing and flailing in the world of motherhood. This week is my son, J.T.’s 34th birthday and the 12th year he has celebrated in heaven. Every year I write about him to celebrate his creation. I thought this year I would write a letter “TO” him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  My J.T., I have written you many letters beginning when you were part of my body. I knew you would be the last soul that would share my human space. I wanted to feel every kick, every roll and every heartbeat. I continued writing to you until you passed from this world. Today it is time for me to write you one more letter. Thank you for the sparkle in your eye when you were born that lit my heart and frightened me at the same time. Thank you for choosing me to be your mom for the 22 years that you were given on this earth.  Thank you for the bliss of nursing you in the middle of the night when the silence was magic and the world consisted of only you and me. Thank you for the joy of watching you dress like a little cowboy and play with imaginary friends, hit home runs and witness your daredevil skateboarding. Thank you for the laughs, the hugs and the experience of you.  Thank you for your patience with me as I stumbled through the journey of motherhood. My attempt was not always pretty, not always right and far from perfect. Thank you for understanding that being a mom is a learning process where I hold pride for the times I was successful and regret for the moments I can’t do over. I am sorry for any moment of your life that I (or anyone else) didn’t make you feel accepted, loved or cherished. You never deserved to feel anything less than the special gift you were. You were Good Enough! You were more than that… you were extraordinary! It took years of trying to get you to understand the correct way to live before I realized you were teaching me that there is more than one path to follow in life. You taught me that not everyone needs to follow the societal expectation of going to college, getting married, having 2.5 children, driving a minivan, owning a house and a 401K. I came to realize that if you can buy your own lunch and are happy then who am I to insist on what trail to take? Thank you for filling my life and my home with music. When J.T. & The Basement Boys played downstairs my house shook with the vibration of joy. And when you sat alone on my patio playing your guitar and singing, my heart melted with the depth of your talent.  Thank you for your daughter. When you told me you were going to be a dad at such a young age, when you weren’t doing a great job of taking care of yourself, I was afraid for you. When you came out of the surgery room carrying that tiny bundle with the same sparkle in her eye that you had she lit my heart and freighted me at the same time. She was nine months old when we said goodbye to you. I held her tightly then and continue to do so now- grateful to have a glorious piece of you. Thank you for teaching me there are no accidents in life. Your beautiful M&M is supposed to be here because you aren’t.  Thank you for the hard lessons in patience, acceptance and forgiveness. Thank you for the wondrous lessons of joy, gratitude and love. All of which you and I must have agreed to accomplish in a space and time prior to being joined in this life. This bound us together so deeply that I felt what was happening (good and bad) in your life before you told me. Our hearts shared thoughts and a mystical silent language. Thank you for understanding my meditation, my thoughts on the Universe, life, death and everything in between. Thank you for our last in-person conversation when we sat in IHop eating pancakes and doodling pictures of ourselves on scrap paper. Not drawings of our outward looks but our inner souls. You were so intent when you listened to me explain how we shouldn’t look at how tall or short, how large or thin a person is – that we should look deeper at their spirit and their soul. You laughed when I drew a star for myself and put sparkles on it because I like stars, diamonds and sparkly lights. We watched the people come in and out of the restaurant and described their souls. The conversation was about life, God, and love. It was deep. It was strong. It was powerful. You were introspective in a way I had never felt before. You knew. You knew you were leaving.  Thank you for the dreams, the manipulation of music, electronics and license plates that you use to send me delightful messages from the magical space you are in now. At times I feel you brush by me and stop to give me one of your unmistakable glorious hugs that only you could share – and I thank you for that. I believe souls are joined to help us understand the value of love. My love didn’t stop on the day you left. My love has grown every day from the first moment I knew you were part of my body and continues to grow with every breath I take. The golden cord that I believe connects a mother to her infant is not severed at birth. Nor is it disconnected at death. The thread that connects my heart to yours holds strong. The tattoo that says, “Love, J.T.” in your writing that I carry over my heart reminds me of what I always told you – we are joined at the heart. Always have been. Always will be. I Love you so, Mom  Jameson Tanner (J.T.) 1985-2007 (Photo taken 2007) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie's Life Lesson: "Write love letters to those you care about." ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ YOUR TURN... My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to write a letter to someone you love - whether they are alive or not. Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2019 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.  Dear Special Friend, I have struggled with the concept of being Good Enough my entire life. I have written about it and it is one of my main speaking topics. I order my Good Enough cards by the case and have given hundreds away. Yesterday was one of those days that I felt FAR FAR from Good Enough! It began by me trying to sew on my sewing machine. I hadn’t used it in several months and I immediately plugged it up with thread. I had to take it to the sewing center to have it fixed and receive a lesson on how to use it. Then I looked in the pool room and a plant had fallen over and there was dirt everywhere! So, I think well, while I clean that up, I will multitask and put bleach in and add water to the pool. I put the hose in the pool and turn the water on too fast. The hose quickly reared up like a cobra snake flopping around striking at me and soaking me while flooding the room. Now I had 2 messes to clean up. And a load of towels to wash when I was done. Also, during the chaos of chasing the hose monster, bleach splattered all over me ruining the new top that I was wearing. Later, things settled down and I was telling my husband about my crazy day. Then, I almost killed us! I had the Instant Pot on the ceramic stove top warming up the leftover roast I made the day before. I had turned a burner on to make gravy. We were sitting at the table eating salad, when I began smelling something. Thinking the gravy had boiled over I jump up to see smoke bellowing out of the Instant Pot. I had turned the wrong burner on- the one UNDER the Instant Pot! It totally melted the bottom off the Instant Pot. I unplugged it, grabbed it and ran to the garage. It could have blown up as the entire bottom was melted off and all the electrical insides were exposed. Melted plastic covered our stove top and I thought it was damaged beyond repair. Our entire house filled with smoke - probably toxic from melted plastic- so now I am sure we all have cancer. Every window in the house was open and all fans were on for hours. Our dogs hid in our bedroom far away from the craziness. I wrapped the Instant Pot in a green yard bag and plunged it to the bottom of the garbage can while my husband worked for an hour on the stove top. He scrubbed and scraped until he had removed all the melted plastic and polished it like new again - he is a miracle cleaner! We ate a bowl of cereal and I went to bed with a blazing headache. ~ ~ ~ Today is a new day. Although, I am still beating myself up for being stupid, not thinking, doing dumb things.... yes, self-talk is devastating! As with most of my life experiences this has turned into a shareable moment in the form of this writing for all to see. I realize how lucky I am and that many people would love my life even on one of my worst days, but yesterday I felt like a loser and far from even close to feeling Good Enough. I want you to know that no one has a perfect life. Stress, frustration and accidents happen to everyone. Even I have days that I am challenged to still Love My Life- NO MATTER WHAT! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie’s Life Lesson: “We all have times of stress, frustration and feelings of not being Good Enough. – Love yourself and your life anyway!” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ YOUR TURN...
My intent in sharing this with you is to admit that my life is not perfect. I am not perfect. I am just like you! I have days where I am challenged to love my life! Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2019 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information. |
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