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​HOW STRONG IS YOUR NEED TO BELONG? By Pennie Hunt

4/29/2022

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When was the first time you felt like you belonged somewhere? Does the memory push you all the way back to your childhood? Your family? Elementary school?
When was the last time you felt like you didn’t belong? Was it recent? Were you embarrassed? Sad? Lonely? Afraid?

Are you part of a group, a team, a school, a club, a crew, a tribe, a family, a religion, a generation or a community? Of course you are. We are all affiliated in some way to a collection of others with a common interest or bond. Humans have a need for inclusion and connection. We fear and avoid isolation. So we join. We conform. We wear the uniform. We know the handshake, the secret knock on the door and the private password.
 
We are taught to mirror the actions and mannerisms of another person so they accept us as a reflection of themselves. We want acceptance and approval. We want to fit in. It is why as a teenager you may have tasted your first beer when you were at a party with friends. You probably hated it but kept sipping it until the taste was tolerable. You felt like you belonged. You felt like you were part of the cool kids. 
 
We mimic the actions of others because we don’t feel worthy to be accepted and included unless we do. We adapt and accept the expectations that the group has for us to be a member. 

Some of this is necessary. In kindergarten we learned how to stand in line, raise our hand, wait our turn and share in order to function in a space of civility and kindness. As we grew, we learned the basics of polite and compassionate living to be accepted as a member of our human society. 
 
For many people the need to belong is an instinct - a requirement for human survival. It can push us to act in ways that feel uncomfortable or are out of character. When we bend and mold ourselves to be such a contorted version of who we are that we don’t recognize our own reflection in the mirror, it becomes a problem. 

What if we could be ourselves? Our crazy, goofy, wild authentic self? 
What if we looked at each other not with our eyes, but with our hearts? Can you drop the expectation you hold for yourself and others and be open to the exploration of who YOU are… of who THEY are? 
 
Stand in your own light and learn to accept yourself. Find the people who will see YOU and love YOU. You may lose some people from your life who only liked you for who you were pretending to be. But when you step into your light and let yourself free to be who you really are, you will attract the people who should be standing with you. You will attract the people that love and adore the real you. You won’t have to work so hard to fit in. You will finally feel like you belong in a way you never have before.  
 
Pennie’s Life Lesson: When you allow yourself to be the authentic person you really are, you will attract the people you are meant to be with.

YOUR TURN...        
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
 PennieHunt@gmail.com.
 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                                      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                         All Rights Reserved
                                          Copyright © 2013-2022 Pennie Hunt
                             This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information. ​
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MIND BODY AND SOUL FOOD

9/15/2018

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MIND BODY AND SOUL FOOD

​If we are what we eat then today I am oatmeal, blueberries, a turkey sandwich, an apple, salmon, salad and green beans.
Oh, and a medium vanilla chai latte and one...okay, two really tasty sugar cookies. 
Well, I'm not perfect!

Think about what else we feed ourselves every day that helps to create who we are. 

Did you savor the taste of love and joy?
or
Did you eat a big helping of self-criticism and negative talk?

Did you swallow shame and guilt?

How much anger and resentment did you chew on today? 

What about that green smoothie of jealousy you had for a midafternoon snack? 

And then right before bed did you munch on doubt and insecurity?

All of these things blend into one big combo meal of emotions and feelings that feed who we are. Have you heard the expression, "junk in- junk out?"

This is exactly what happens to your body and life.  In the same way eating high calorie, sugar-filled junk food will show outwardly in the form of weight gain, when you feed yourself negativity then negativity will show outwardly to create a life of anger, depression and pain.

Isn't it time to pay attention to what you feed your mind, body and soul? 

Create a menu of positive self-empowering mind, body and soul food.

Begin mixing in healthy amounts of gratitude and self-care into your diet. 

None of us are perfect and along with the occasional really tasty sugar cookie there will be times that negative self-talk, doubt or shame will sneak into your daily diet. 

Forgive yourself when you indulge in these and then - move on!

If you knew you had the power to create happiness in your life wouldn't you do it?

Well, you do!

It all starts with being grateful. Begin and end each day in gratitude. Just like weight lifting begins strengthening your body with one work out at a time, exercising your gratitude and self- compassion muscles will reshape your life one thank-you and one act of self-love at a time.  

Gratitude leads to love, joy and kindness.   When you begin fueling your soul with these it will show outwardly bringing happiness to your life. 

YOU do have the power to become what you eat!  Eat wisely. 

                 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
Pennie's Life Lesson:
     "You are what you eat --
          feed love to your mind, body and soul!"
                   ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~                               
YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to pay attention to your negative self-talk and emotions that you consume and replace them with loving self-care and gratitude. 


Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below .  And please feel free to email me  at:
 PennieHunt@gmail.com. 
                                                Thank you!  
​

​               ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~           
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.
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THE LOST DAY

6/23/2018

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​Dear friends and subscribers to the Pennie Hunt blog,
 
Today I want to let you know that this week’s writing will be a “Pennie’s from the Past”. Pennie continues to be on hiatus due to injuries she suffered in a serious car crash on June 11th.
Fortunately, prior to the accident, Pennie taught me how to access her website and social media accounts so that I could make posts on her behalf for circumstances such as this. I hope you enjoy this post from 2016 titled, “The Lost Day”. Pennie sends along her love to each and every one of you.
Ken (Pennie’s husband, and her #1 fan)
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I lost my day.
It began in the normal way.
Alarm.
Glass of water.
Cup of coffee.
Work out. 
Shower. 
Then... I lost it.
 
My day became an endless loop of wondering what I should do.  Not wanting to do anything.  Feeling disappointed in myself that I wasn’t accomplishing, achieving or making an impact, I walked from window to window looking out at the world feeling lost.  I didn’t have a plan for the day.  I was uneasy.  Restless.  Uncertain.
And then, it was over.
I lost my day.

Now, holding a brand new day in my grasp and enjoying all that comes with it I look back on that day and realize I occasionally experience what I call A Lost Day.
A day lost in time that I wasted.  I’m not talking about a day spent reading or relaxing, which I find necessary to rejuvenate both mind and soul and is far from wasted.  ALost Day is spent spinning and twirling in indecision.  Not being able to focus on a desire.

In my self-analyzation I uncovered this...
I was raised in a military family where it was ingrained in my DNA to work hard, accomplish and achieve. I often times find myself at the end of a day spewing a list of "completion".  From laundry to writing I do a mental review of what I did to add value during the day. Could it be possible if I don’t“do” I must not be of value?

Our minds are funny little puzzles consisting of pieces created at birth with more picked up as we journey through life. We maneuver the unchangeable ones to create a frame.  All other misshaped pieces are turned and tried until they fit together to create the picture of our lives.
Over time we may crinkle and bend a piece or two and might even lose one, but the frame remains the landing pad.  The secret code of our belief system’s DNA.

Here is the thing... although I was raised with the core value of hard work and accomplishment I was never taught that without doing that I was not of value.  That became one of the internal puzzle pieces that my mind created and connected to another piece as I built my life.  So of course when I have a day of spinning in indecision I feel useless and wasteful.  I experience the frustration of a Lost Day. 

The next time I experience a Lost Day I will at least understand what is happening.  I will try to lean into it with the knowing of why and the understanding of my emotions. 
 
As I write this, I sit in self-satisfaction for solving the puzzle.  Finding the piece that skews my life picture.
Today I accomplished!
I achieved!
I made an impact - if only in my own life.
            ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~ ~ ~ 
Pennie's Life Lesson:           

“Pay attention to the puzzle pieces that create the picture of your life. Don’t force pieces to fit that don’t belong.”
               ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~ ~ ~ 

My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to think about the puzzle pieces you have allowed into the frame of your life.  How have you included negative, unhealthy ones to guide your feelings and emotions? 
​
YOUR TURN
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below .  And please feel free to email me  at:
 PennieHunt@gmail.com.
 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.
            ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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​EMOTIONAL BENEFITS

5/25/2018

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​EMOTIONAL BENEFITS

We are all on a search for "Emotional Benefits."

We all freely give
"I love you's" with the expectation that we will receive an I love you in return.    

Everything we do, say, act on or experience is with the expectation of making us feel good, feel happy, feel important or feel loved.

Our need to connect and belong is a driver in life.  Emotional benefit is attached.

Why do you think our world is so dependent on the buzzing of our cell phones? Because with every vibrational Tweet, every chiming phone call and every new friend request on Facebook we feel loved, needed, and wanted. We act with our heart and grab the phone!
Emotional benefit is attached. 

Unfortunately, we do very little in life without the expectation of reciprocity. We have learned this mutual give and take expectation throughout our life.


If I pick you for the volley ball team, Iexpect you will pick me next time.
If I invite you to lunch, I expect you to invite me to lunch.
If I FRIEND you on Facebook, I expect you to Friend me.
If I tell you I love you, I expect you to tell me you love me.
We expect this mutual exchange.
Emotional benefit is attached.

Imagine if we took the expectation out of the equation. Imagine if we friended, liked and loved just for the joy of friending, liking and loving.


Imagine joyfully giving without the expectation of an obligatory comparable response. 

I believe the real law of reciprocity should be based on our intent. 
If your intent is ~ 
     I will do this in order to receive that in           return -- then you are living your life in           a self-centered way. 

If your intent is ~
     I will do this with no expectation of                 return --  then you are living your life in           an other-centered way. 

You are making more deposits in the bank of emotional benefits than you expect to withdraw. 

Then the magic happens.

By changing the expectation of reciprocity, the Emotional Benefit we give to others will increase. The conditions of the game will be removed. Your own Emotional Benefit account will begin to overflow.

It will become clear that by acting with our heart in an other-centered way the search for our own Emotional Benefits will begin and end with making others feel good, happy, important and loved.
              ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~
Pennie's Life Lesson:
        “Unconditionally give and love
          for the joy of giving and loving.”  

              ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pennie Heart to Heart
EMOTIONAL BENEFITS

​My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you  to rush out there into your life and spread joy and love --expecting NOTHING in return and see what happens!  

YOUR TURN
 
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below .  And please feel free to email me  at:
 PennieHunt@gmail.com.
 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.
            ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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DON'T MAKE YOURSELF SMALL

1/26/2018

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DON'T MAKE YOURSELF SMALL
​

"I'll try to make myself as small as possible,"

she said as she pulled her arms close to her body and settled into the middle seat between me and the man sleeping by the window.
 
When I fly, I have learned to take the aisle seat when I can. It allows me to exit quickly when the plane lands and to have one side free, giving the perception of more space. At times I enjoy the window seat, but I really hate the dreaded middle seat.
 
When my new seat mate made her comment,  I laughed and responded with some fluffy chit chat about how the middle seat is a tuff one to sit in.
 
The plane took off.
Ear phones on.
Pretzels delivered. 
 
The comment floated in my head…
  I'll try to make myself as small as possible.
 
I thought about how many times I had done that in life...made myself small to allow room for others to have the space they need, to be comfortable, to spread their wings, to shine in the spotlight...even if it was at the expense of my own comfort.
 
An honorable thing to do, right?
 
Well, yes, it can be at the right moment, for the right reason. The problem is, it can become a habit. 
 
If you constantly pull back in the shadow of others you are not allowing your soul to shine. The beauty of YOU is hidden. The gifts you were brought here to share will never be known.
I believe we are here to stretch our souls. To learn. To teach. To love. 
We cannot do this with our arms pulled in forcing our bodies to contort into a small version of our real self.
 
Stand tall. 
Put those arms up.
Speak your message.
Let your soul out to shine in the spotlight of life.
Only then will you gift the world with the real you.
The YOU you were sent here to be.
The YOU you were sent to share.
Only then will the real YOU be loved.
               ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 
Pennie's Life Lesson:
           "Don't make yourself small
         in order to make someone else                                                seem big."

               ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ​

Pennie Heart to Heart
DON'T MAKE YOURSELF SMALL

YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to be brave enough to stand in your own space.  Spread out!  Own the gifts you are here to share! 
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:

                PennieHunt@gmail.com. 
                          Thank you!  
                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.
 If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission  please email: Penniehunt@gmail.com
2 Comments

PUT DOWN YOUR MENTAL RED PEN!

1/21/2018

2 Comments

 
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PUT DOWN YOUR 
MENTAL RED PEN!

Do you remember in school when your assignments were returned to you after the teacher made corrections with a red pen?

Those red check marks, circles and comments cut right to your heart as if a neon sign was flashing “FAILURE!” 

Could this be where we learned the concept of judging?

We have been conditioned to point out what is unacceptable, wrong or incomplete.

We all have a mental red pen that constantly searches and rates everything within our focus.

We judge others on their clothes, income, status and even the behavior of their children.
We judge restaurants by how good the food is, how clean the floor is and how immediate the service is.
We judge the weather by the temperature, the wind speed and the humidity. 

And the mental red pen does double duty when we judge ourselves.  The number on the scale is too high; there are too many gray hairs; accomplishments are not grand enough; on and on and on.  

What if we stepped back from the mental red pen?  
Stop the check marks, circles and comments and adopt the phrase,

           “Isn't that interesting?” 

The next time you see a girl with blue hair, tattoos and piercings or want to thrash yourself for the two pounds you gained on vacation, step back, take a breath and say, 

            “Isn't that interesting?”

This is not saying you condone everything you see and every action you or others make.

It is just the calm acknowledgement of observation.
Not good.  Not bad. Not negative. Not hateful.  

The phrase, “Isn't that interesting?” may become a buffer between you and confrontation.  It may become a kinder frame for self-talk instead of the negative chatter we are used to hearing.  It may become a new perspective into non-judgment of others.  

The mental red pen can become the means for feedbackand not failure.  

Can you live one day without judging yourself or others?  Try it.

You will notice just how often you do engage that mental red pen of acceptability or failure.

After you complete one day, try for two, then three.  You may just step back from this exercise and say, 
            “Isn't that interesting?”
              ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:

        "Put down your mental red pen.
        Instead of judging yourself and  
        others say,

              “Isn't that interesting.” 
               ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pennie Heart to Heart
PUT DOWN YOUR MENTAL RED PEN

YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to help all of us see our own mental red pen and to try an alternative to judging-- try observing.

​Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
                PennieHunt@gmail.com. 
                          Thank you!  
                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.
 If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission  please email: Penniehunt@gmail.com
2 Comments

    Author

    There is a certain magic about where I live both physically and spiritually – on the crossroads of Spirit and Brave. 

    It seems appropriate that my writings be found under the sign that locates my life.  I wish for all of you the ability to live in your Spirit to experience a life filled with love and gratitude and be Brave in the learning of your life lessons. 

    Enjoy!
            Pennie


     

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PLEASE NOTE: This page does not provide medical or legal advice, professional diagnosis, opinion, treatment or services to you or to any other individual. Through this site and links to other sites, Pennie Hunt provides general information for inspiration, encouragement and educational purposes only. The information provided in this site, or through links to other sites, is not a substitute for legal, medical, or professional care, and you should not use the information in place of a visit, call or the advice of your lawyer, physician or other healthcare provider.   

​
 Copyright © 2012- 2023  Pennie Hunt -  All Rights Reserved
Photographs by Pennie Hunt and Materpiecebysarah.com                          


  • Home
  • Blog~ Corner of Spirit & Brave
  • BOOKS
  • BIO
  • Presentations
  • Social media
  • Contact Pennie
  • Love-Life
  • Pennie's Ponderings ~ Quotes
  • Pennie's Life Lessons
  • Videos
  • Pennie in the News
  • Meditations
  • Testimonials
  • UPCOMING EVENTS