The Corner of Spirit & Brave

NO ONE MAKES THE BEST CHEESEBURGER FOREVER by Pennie Hunt

5/28/2021

I remember the first time I ate one. My friend told me it would be the best old-fashioned cheeseburger I could find. I tried it that day and she was right! When it was placed in front of me, the smell circled me as I devoured the deliciousness of the best cheeseburger of my life. It wasn’t fancy or foofoo. It was just as she said, an old-fashioned cheeseburger.
Over the years, time after time, the consistency of quality and taste never disappoints me. It is always just as good as it was the first time. It is my favorite hamburger spot. I hope it is there forever!

I also have a favorite coffee shop where I know my latte will be hot – not too strong and not too weak, with just the right amount of creamy foam. I love it. I can zip in and zip out quickly with wonderful coffee in my hand. I count on the shop being there for me. They make the best coffee.

There is a place that I pick up scones. I dream about their scones. They are not dry or day old. They are always fresh, and the orange-flavored frosting forms a soft covering that puddles around the edges. As I write this I can see those scones in my mind, and my mouth waters for the taste of them. I will never get tired of them. They are the best scones.

And then there is the Italian Restaurant that makes the best chicken parmesan that I have ever tasted. My husband and I have celebrated many meals by candlelight inside the wine bottle-covered walls of this charming hideaway. Our daughter’s rehearsal dinner was held there the night before her wedding. We know the owners. It became our place. We planned on eating chicken parmesan there forever. Sadly, a few years ago, after being in the family for generations, that charming Italian restaurant closed. Our place was gone.

To be honest, there has been a time or two that my cheeseburger was greasy at my favorite hamburger place. I have had a rare bitter cup of coffee from my favorite coffee shop. And, yes, once, (okay a few times), the scones were a bit dry from my favorite bakery. But I overlook the occasionally unsatisfactory service or quality because my mind is convinced that they are all the best.

When we find a place we love and depend on, we assume it will always be there. We may not visit the establishment for some time, but when we return, we expect it will be there with the same service and quality we remember. We want to believe it is the best. We want to believe it will ALWAYS be the best.

One thing that is certain, in life change and loss happens. We as the consumer have changing wants and needs. Our favorite places may come and go. Owners and staff change. Coffee can be occasionally bitter. A scone can be occasionally dry. Restaurants will close. Change happens. Nothing remains the same. And – no one can make the best cheeseburger forever.
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
“Change happens. No one makes the best cheeseburger forever.”

YOUR TURN...
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
[email protected].
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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DO YOU SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE? By Pennie Hunt

5/21/2021

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The store was busy. I was in a hurry. When I hustled to the front to pay for the few items I had in my cart, I thought it was my lucky day! Many checkout lines were open and the lines were long, but line number 13 had only one customer. I quickly zipped my cart into position.

The clerk was happily smiling and scanning the purchases for the couple in front of me. Then I realized the struggle. The clerk, who was hearing impaired, was trying to communicate with the couple through sign language and loud hard to distinguish words. I watched as she demonstrated unlimited patience and began pointing to the screen on the register to communicate. The couple, relieved to be done with their transaction, hurried away. I realized why her checkout line was short. People were avoiding her.

I pushed my cart forward, unloaded my items, smiled and waved “Hi,” to the clerk. Her grin was huge, her happiness bold, as she waved back and said, “Hello” in her loud grating voice.

Knowing only a few words in sign language I awkwardly did my best to speak her language. Her motions asked if she could put my items together in one bag. I put my fists together, thumbs up, and pulled them away from each other in what I remembered to mean “apart.” She paused and looked at me with the excitement of a child. Her smile widened, her eyes connected with mine, and I saw her face grow into a sparkle. I was speaking “her” language.

We moved through the payment process with a few circles on my chest to communicate, “please” and as we finished, I put my hand to my lips and then brought its down palm up to her and said, “Thank You,” in both her language and mine.

Whose language are you missing?
How often do we miss the opportunity to really see someone, look in their eyes, connect with who they are inside and speak their language?
Do you get down on the floor and talk to a child at their eye level? Or do you talk down to them from a height they can only imagine being? Do you speak their language?

Do you take the time to talk to those in your life circle about what is important? Do you know what makes them sing in the sunshine and cry in the dark? Do you know their pain? Do you speak their language?

Do you show kindness to the elderly, homeless or marginalized people? Or do you sweep by them feeling like they are a nuisance? Do you speak their language?

Do you stop when you come home and acknowledge your dog’s tail wagging dance of love when they see you? Or do you brush right by them to a task you feel is more important? Do you speak their language?

It was my lucky day. By the clerk’s reaction to my clumsy effort at sign language, I believe she felt acknowledged, seen, heard, and validated. Isn’t that what we all want? What she didn’t know was that she had given me a gift. Because of her, I stopped long enough in my busy day to really look at another person, to notice our differences and yet stand on equal ground, to blend her form of communication with mine-- as she did her best to speak my language and I did my best to speak hers.

Pennie’s Life Lesson:
“Take time to acknowledge others. See them, hear them, and speak their language!”

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IT’S ONLY A CRISIS IF IT HAPPENS TO YOU by Pennie Hunt

5/15/2021

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Years ago, I led an organization that recruited physicians. It was a time when the shortage of medical professionals was becoming very real. I would receive calls from legislators and leaders asking, “Do we really have a physician crisis?”
My response was,
“When you can’t find a doctor or it’s your doctor that moves away it is a crisis.”

Isn’t that the truth?
We don’t worry about our weight until we can’t zip our jeans.
We don’t worry about our cholesterol until we have a heart attack.
We don’t worry about care and help for the aging until our parents (or we) age.
We don’t worry about handicapped accessibility until we become handicapped-even temporarily.
We don’t worry about distracted driving until a texting person collides with us.
We don’t worry about the opioid crisis until our child dies from an overdose.
We don’t worry about a shortage of toilet paper until we don’t have any.

Why do we wait until something touches our heart, our life, or our pocketbook before we pay attention to it? Because for the most part we are ingrained with an out-of-sight-out-of-mind mentality. If it happens to someone else, we may feel sorry for them momentarily. If we see a news report, we may think it is sad. We may try to see things from their point of view and imagine ourselves in their place, but we can never feel what they are feeling from our outside perspective. True empathy is a difficult emotion to feel deeply until it happens to you.

Once you do experience it personally, you become one of ‘those’ people. We all know them. The one who is the first one to give support when your crisis happens. The one who knows what to say- and what not to say. The one who holds your hand and comforts your heart. They show up. They show up because it has happened to them, to their family, or to their community. Their crisis may have been a different level, a different experience, and a different circumstance, but they have walked a similar path. A path that taught them understanding. A path that gave them the gift of empathy. They have learned how to do the things they don’t have to do – because it matters.

Maybe we can learn a lesson here. None of us knows what our future will bring, but we can dig a little deeper into what a crisis is. We can stop the out-of-sight-out-of-mind habit. We can learn to see what is happening and not just ignore it. We can deeply look at it so our mind has a chance to evaluate the situation. We cannot take on every cause, donate to every fundraiser, or support every effort. But we can begin one person at a time. Help one person. Understand one family’s heartbreak. See one organization’s struggle. Learn what the issues are in your community. Grow your empathy muscle. Become one of ‘those’ people. Do the things you don’t have to do – because it matters. Just because it hasn’t happened to you (yet) doesn’t mean it isn’t a crisis.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
It’s the things you do that you don’t have to do
that makes the difference when it’s too late to do anything about it.

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SECRETS YOUR MOM NEVER TELLS YOU -- ABOUT BEING A MOM

5/7/2021

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Pennie with two of her children and pregnant.

At 19 I jumped in the front seat of the craziest, scariest, most exhilarating roller coaster ride of my life. BAM! I Became A Mom!

I was mature, smart, and ready to take on the world. (Weren’t we all at 19?) Little did I know that being a mom would be the most rewarding, life-changing, ride I would ever jump into.
And jump I did, not once, but four times.

Everyone watched me do it.
And no one warned me about what was ahead – the ups, the downs, the jerks, the curves, and the whiplashing shocks.
My own mother didn’t even hold up the "CAUTION“CAUTION PROCEED WITH CARE” sign!
She never told me the BAM of Being A Mom was a life jolt. She never told me the secrets.

She never told me that being a mom opens your heart to a love that you could never imagine. The birthing and cutting of a physical umbilical cord that attaches you human-to-human in no way cuts the invisible golden cords that attach you heart-to-heart. Their body may birth to the world an independent being, but a piece of this new soul is forever kept inside and connected to you.

She never told me that being a mom makes you vulnerable in a way you have NEVER been before. You open yourself to being dropped to your knees by your child’s tears, broken hearts, and disappointments.
Their pain is your pain.

She never told me that being a mom means you will never sleep again. Well, never the same way you slept prior to the BAM. You may be prepared for the first months of sleep deprivation caused by night diaper changes and bottles that will soon pass.
What you aren’t ready for is the rest of your life sleeping with one ear half-open to hear their cries from a nightmare, moans from a fever, and footsteps as your teenager sneaks in the house past curfew.
What you don’t know is long after they have grown and moved out of your home, you will sleep with a part of your heart open hoping they are safe, happy, and loved.
You will never sleep fully again.

She never told me that being a mom is a 24 hour, 7 days a week, forever occupation.
No vacation days,
No sick leave and
No quitting!
Once you accept the position you are locked in heart, mind, and soul – FOR LIFE!
**She never even whispered that it is a job you will love with all of your heart – and some days you won’t. On those days, you will peak at their sleeping faces and then wrap yourself in a cocoon of guilt and shame for allowing yourself to hate the job you love.

She never told me that being a mom brings you trophy words like Pride, Joy, and Happiness that you can hang on your wall in an expression of motherhood.
It also brings you words like Anger, Hurt, and Exhaustion that, in an attempt to hide your fear of inadequacy, you swallow and tuck in your belly hiding them so no one sees.

She never told me that being a mom makes you strong enough to endure the unthinkable.
You take on the risk of being told the baby you carry no longer has a heartbeat and you must be strong enough to walk out of the hospital carrying an empty blanket.

You take on the risk of birthing, nurturing, and loving your child for years and then receiving the phone call that they are gone. In both cases holding tightly to the golden cords that now reach to your angel child.

She never told me that being a mom makes you understand that you will be joyous when your daughter is grown and has children of her own. You will watch through tears and laughter as she learns for herself, the unspoken secrets of being a mom.

Looking back, I would tell that naïve, 19-year-old girl, who thought she knew it all, to jump.
Jump with all the love, anticipation, and joy she has because through all the ups and downs being a mom is the most amazing ride she will ever be on.

And through it all, she will learn the unspoken code of never saying out loud the secret lessons of Being A Mom.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
“Moms are the gentle holders of our hearts. Hold theirs in return.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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CAN YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF IN THREE WORDS?

5/2/2021

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Can you describe yourself in three words? How do you see yourself? How do you believe others see you?

When I was asked these questions I thought of words like mom, grandmother, wife, speaker, writer, but I wanted better words. I wanted words with more grandeur. I wanted words that carried with them not just a superficial description of looks or my job(s) in life, but a feeling, a purpose, and a mission.

After weeks of rolling this idea through every wrinkle of my mind and struggling to create a short list of three, I decided I was not the most reliable person to ask. I wanted to know how I was doing and if others would give me a passing grade - or if I needed to study harder and practice more in order to be described in the way I hoped.

So, I sent out this email:
Hello,
I am working on a project and wonder if you would take a second to help me out. It is easy - all I need you to do is send me a few adjectives that you would think of to honestly describe me. You can send me three or twenty or as many you wish to share, but make it easy for you. No, this is not one of the silly email "forwards" -- I really am working on a project.
Thank you so much in advance for doing this! - Pennie

This is not an exercise for the faint of spirit. As I hit the send button, bubbles over my head began filling with words I would not like. What if the responses were negative? What if they were less than flattering? What if no one responded, what would that mean?

But there it was, heading through the mysteries of the Internet and landing smack in the middle of 100 computer screens! I sent it to close friends and to acquaintances. I sent it to family members. I sent it to people who see me daily and ones who had not seen me in 10 years. I sent it to those who I was confident would say glowing things and I sent it to those who I feared might not. From young adolescent friends of my son to legislators, they held my life image at their computer keyboards.
I waited.

The first response came in minutes, other came weeks later. They came in clusters of pings to my computer and in single messages late in the night. They came in short emails with just three words. They came in lists of adjectives depicting my impression on them with long elaborations of why they chose the words they did.

The fear of what would be given me as the mirror of myself became a life-opening experience. I was humbled by the response as an ultimate washing of appreciation and love came through in the words given to me. Some made me laugh. Some made me cry. Some made me cry more. Only three people asked me why I wanted to know. It didn’t seem to matter. They just responded.

I created a spreadsheet to track the words. Repeated words were given a tally mark. The spreadsheet grew with a list of 197 words. Very quickly 13 words began creating a pattern of repetition. The top three winners were Caring, Thoughtful, and Kind. These were followed closely with Compassionate, Honest, and Loving.

What a lesson I had learned! These are simple words, but I realize these are my words of grandeur; my words of feeling, purpose, and mission. These are my words to live by. Now I have a standard to uphold. This is how others see me and I don’t want to let them down.
Can you describe yourself in three words?

Pennie's Life Lesson: “When you create a standard of compassion, kindness, and love to live your life by- you will receive compassion, kindness, and love from others.”

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NO ONE MAKES THE BEST CHEESEBURGER FOREVER by Pennie Hunt

DO YOU SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE? By Pennie Hunt

IT’S ONLY A CRISIS IF IT HAPPENS TO YOU by Pennie Hunt

SECRETS YOUR MOM NEVER TELLS YOU -- ABOUT BEING A MOM

CAN YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF IN THREE WORDS?

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NO ONE MAKES THE BEST CHEESEBURGER FOREVER by Pennie Hunt

​DO YOU SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE? By Pennie Hunt

IT’S ONLY A CRISIS IF IT HAPPENS TO YOU by Pennie Hunt

SECRETS YOUR MOM NEVER TELLS YOU -- ABOUT BEING A MOM

CAN YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF IN THREE WORDS?

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DO YOU SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE? By Pennie Hunt