​As I was unloading my groceries, I talked into the speaker of my phone spilling out all the errands, work, and obligations that had filled my day. Pulling out a box of tissues from a shopping bag, I realized I had purchased the wrong kind.

“Oh good grief, I ranted. These aren’t right. These aren’t the cooling lotion kind we like. This is just great!”

My ranting was interrupted with the voice on the other end of my phone conversation saying, “Well, if that’s the worst thing that happened to you today, I’d say it was a pretty good day!”

The understanding of that comment stopped my rant mid-sentence.
I have had days that the worst thing that happened was devastating. I have had days when my life changed in an instant and my normal never returned.

Most of our days are not that horrible. Most of the things we get upset about are not worth ranting about. Yet, we all do this. We allow small things to build into bigger issues than they are. They steal our serenity and suck our joy- because we allow them to.

I know the warning signs in myself. When I back myself into a corner of overwhelming commitments there comes a moment when I crack. If I am overtired. If I am hungry. If all of these are combined, I can fly into a rant about something as simple as buying the wrong tissues.

Occasionally we need to treat ourselves with the same care as we would treat someone we love. If I am overtired, I need rest. If I am hungry, I need to be nourished. Most importantly I need to know my limits of what I can handle in my life and keep commitments within reasonable and doable limits.

When the days of unchangeable tragedy hit, allow yourself to let go. These days are worthy of ranting, crying, and screaming. But when you catch yourself flying into anger over small events pull yourself back. Compare what is happening now to those tragic days in your past. Compare what is happening to the reality of the whole picture of your life.

Look at your day. Is what you are upset about the worst thing that happened in your day? Is it that bad? Ask yourself this question, “Is this the worst thing that happened in my day,” and then evaluate if it is a catastrophe or if your mind is giving it more importance than it deserves.

Come to a point of realizing - if that’s the worst thing that happened to me today, I’d say it was a pretty good day! You may be embarrassed that you allowed it to control you in a bad way – especially when you know the struggles you have lived through in the past and the struggles others are living through now.

Concentrate on what is good about your day and not the little problems that are not important. You may just laugh at yourself for being upset about such a small issue.
                                                          ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 
Pennie’s Life Lesson: 
          “Remember this, if that’s the worst thing that happened to you today,
                                     I’d say it was a pretty good day!”

YOUR TURN...        
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                                      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                         All Rights Reserved
                                          Copyright © 2013-2021 Pennie Hunt
                             This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information. ​

​This is the way the conversation went...
“Who orders the pizza?”
“Well, she calls and orders it.”
“No, I mean who decides what kind of pizza to order?”
“We always have sausage.”
“Does she like sausage?”
“Sure, I guess.”
“But you are not sure. Maybe she is conceding to you. Maybe she is resenting it. Maybe she hates sausage pizza.”
 
He pondered this the rest of the afternoon. That evening during dinner, my husband asked me an unusual question.
 “What kind of pizza do you like?”

He had never asked me before. I had to think about it. It took me a while to answer. I had picked sausage off the pizza for so long I didn’t remember what kind of pizza I really did like. I began questioning myself. If I could order any kind of pizza, what would I choose for ME?
 
I don’t think this is an uncommon scenario. Many times it is easier to concede and let another person have what they want.
We do it out of love for them – we want them to be happy.
We do it out of avoidance- we don’t want to argue.
We do it because it really doesn’t matter that much to us.
We do it because we have done it for so long it becomes a habit. – A dangerous habit.
 
On the other side, it is easy not to notice that someone is always giving in to our needs. That their needs are not being met. That resentment may be building under the facade of agreement. Maybe it is just pizza. Maybe it is pizza, ice cream, what movie to go to, where to have dinner, where to vacation, which car to buy... This could go on and on and the layering of conceding to another’s wants and desires can create an issue much, much larger than a pizza.
 
What is the “pizza” in your life - in your relationships? Are there issues you need to talk about? When we begin paying attention to this kind of give and take.... or give and give situation, it becomes obvious that there are solutions. Simple solutions.
 
My husband and I now order two pizzas. One sausage for him. One chicken and pineapple for me. Yes, I LOVE chicken and pineapple on my pizza. Preferably with extra sauce and extra cheese. The solution was so easy. 
 
Now we both get what we want. There is no conceding. There is no resentment. There is compromise. There is cooperation. There is respect for both of our needs and wants. And there are always leftovers for lunch the next day.
  
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
         “Pay attention to “give and take” vs “give and give” situations in life. 
​                                 Don’t be afraid to order your own pizza!”

YOUR TURN...        
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                                      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                         All Rights Reserved
                                          Copyright © 2013-2021 Pennie Hunt
                             This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information. ​

I was terrified. My toes curled around the end of the diving board. I closed my eyes so I couldn’t see the deep water below. The board was small, but I felt as if I was on a 30-foot-high Olympic diving platform. My swimming instructor held a long pole with a net on the end blocking my escape route off the board. It was clear. I had no choice but to jump. I froze in fear.

This is the memory of my childhood swimming lessons. I hated them. On Friday nights I would sneak into the linen closet to find a feather pillow to sleep on. I knew my allergic reaction to the feathers would create a stuffy nose and cold-like symptoms by morning. When I woke up, I would plead with my mom that I couldn’t attend the weekly Saturday swimming lesson because obviously I had a cold and felt terrible.

I love water. I have enjoyed a life of water skiing and boating. I love streams, rivers, lakes, and oceans. The thought of soaking in a warm bath brings joy to my heart. I swim with my children and challenge my grandchildren to beat me in a race across a pool. I have experienced the energy of a pod of spinner dolphins’ race around me in the ocean. The sound of water features fills my home with peace. Water calms me and cocoons me in contentment… and yes, I love to swim. 
 
I didn’t learn to swim in swimming lessons. I learned to swim by putting a towel around my shoulders and riding my bicycle to the community pool and jumping in. I learned to swim by jumping off the side of a boat so that I could slide my feet into skis and skim across a lake filled with water that looked like glass.

I love swimming, but my fear almost kept me from ever doing it. That swimming instructor believed that standing me on a diving board and waving a pole at me would somehow force my learning. What it did was force me into a space of fear. A space that blocked me from doing what I wanted to do. It didn’t work for me and in fact, almost separated me from one of my lifelong pleasures.

The lesson I learned from this is to find another way. If something doesn’t feel right to you- if something causes more pain than pleasure- find another way. Be creative. It is our nature to move away from pain and move towards pleasure. That feather pillow helped me move away from a swimming instructor's painful teaching technique that didn’t fit with my way of learning. I wanted to be in the water. I wanted to swim. Learning by fear was not my way. My way was through the fun and enjoyment of water. I found another way.

Has this happened in your life? Has fear kept you from trying, learning, or doing something you know you would love? Can you find another way to work around the fear? Don’t allow fear to win. Find your own way. Jump over the fear and into the water.

Pennie’s Life Lesson: “Don’t allow fear to keep you from doing what you love to do. Find another way.” 

YOUR TURN...        
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                                      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                         All Rights Reserved
                                          Copyright © 2013-2021 Pennie Hunt
                             This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information. ​

​It is the time of year when the excitement of a new school season is approaching. New clothes and shoes are purchased. Backpacks are filled with supplies. Butterflies tickle young tummies as children wonder about which friends will be in their classroom and who their teacher will be.

It has been many, MANY, years since I have been in school, but I do remember all of this. School memories can fill your heart with nostalgia and wistful thoughts of experiences, successes, and a few failures.

Do you remember in school when your assignments were returned to you after the teacher made corrections with a red pen? Those red checkmarks, circles, and comments cut right to your heart as if a neon sign was flashing “FAILURE!”

Could this be where we learned the concept of judging? We have been conditioned to point out what is unacceptable, wrong, or incomplete. We all have a mental red pen that constantly searches and rates everything within our focus. We judge others on their clothes, income, status, and even the behavior of their children. We judge restaurants by how good the food is, how clean the floor is and how immediate the service is. We judge the weather by the temperature, wind speed, and humidity.

And the mental red pen does double duty when we judge ourselves. The number on the scale is too high; there are too many gray hairs; accomplishments are not grand enough; on and on and on. 

What if we stepped back from the mental red pen? Stop the checkmarks, circles, and comments and adopt the phrase, “Isn’t that interesting?”

The next time you see a girl with blue hair, tattoos, and piercings or want to thrash yourself for the two pounds you gained on vacation, step back, take a breath, and say, “Isn’t that interesting?”

This is not saying you condone everything you see and every action you or others make. It is just the calm acknowledgment of observation. Not good. Not bad. Not negative. Not hateful. 

The phrase, “Isn’t that interesting?” may become a buffer between you and confrontation. It may become a kinder frame for self-talk instead of the negative chatter we are used to hearing. It may become a new perspective into non-judgment of others. 

The mental red pen can become the means for feedback and not failure. 
Can you live one day without judging yourself or others? Try it. You will notice just how often you do engage that mental red pen of acceptability or failure. After you complete one day, try for two, then three. You may just step back from this exercise and say, “Isn’t that interesting?”
          ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 
Pennie’s Life Lesson: 
​                                      "Put down your mental red pen.
                Instead of judging yourself and others say, “Isn’t that interesting.”

YOUR TURN...        
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                                      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                         All Rights Reserved
                                          Copyright © 2013-2021 Pennie Hunt
                             This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information. ​