The Corner of Spirit & Brave

EVERYTHING I WANT

7/30/2021

I snuck away with my Grandson, Dylan, for an afternoon of feeding the ducks in the park, picnicking, and a little shopping.

After the ducks were fed and our tummies were full we moved on to shopping.

My shopping cart spilled over with the arms and legs of a three-year-old. As I maneuvered through the aisle, I asked him,

“What should we buy for you today?
Maybe a shirt, a book, a……”

My list was interrupted when he said,

“I have everything I want.”

My cart came to a stop as I looked at his sweet face. I couldn't hide my smile at his remarkable comment.

“You have everything you want?”

He may have been three, but he knew from the expression on my face that he must have given the million-dollar answer. He flashed his killer smile and said,

“Yeah, I do! I have EVERYTHING I want! ”

I proceeded to tell him how lucky he was that he was so happy and had everything he wants. He smiled bigger, sat up taller, and was very proud that yes, he must be lucky!

I have to say it stunned me. What little person (or big person for that matter) can say they have everything they want? I was still pondering this as we paid for his new football. My idea – not his.

Later, we stopped by my house to feed my dog, Yogee.
Yogee was much more interested in dancing around the floor with Dylan than eating. After about the third time I told Yogee to go eat her food Dylan looked at me and said,

"Maybe she just isn't hungry."

Again, I stopped to breathe in what he just said. I sat down and watched as Yogee’s tiny feet continued the happy dance as she circled around him. As every inch of her body wriggled and smiled, I realized – she, too, in this moment of time had everything she wanted.

We took Yogee to the back yard and this time it was Dylan’s turn to do the happy dance. He ran to my garden box. He circled it, hands clapping and sang,

"Oh, this garden is BEAUTIFUL!!!"

That was it!
Three strikes to my heart!
Lessons learned!

At 3 years old, he could see the beauty in a garden and understood that "he" wasn't hungry for anything.
-- He had everything he wants!

This tiny boy had just demonstrated to me the simplicity of life.
That as long as we are loved we do have everything we want.
That sometimes we don’t hunger for anything - we just need to dance.
And if we look we can find beauty in our own back yard.
I learned that right now, in this moment, I do have everything I want!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
"When we are surrounded by love we don’t hunger for anything -- we have everything we want."

YOUR TURN...
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
[email protected].
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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Copyright © 2013-2021 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
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UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

7/23/2021

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What questions do you have that you wish you had the answers to?
What questions do you have that will forever be unanswered?
Are there some you hope to have answered in the future?
What questions do you NOT want to know the answers to? Are you afraid to know the truth? Are they best left alone?
I have all these scenarios.

The ones that I may never learn the answers to are tangled with regret of never asking them when I had the opportunity. I will never know how my grandmother felt when her baby was stillborn or her grown son was taken in a truck accident. I will never be able to ask my dad what it felt like to win his high school track meets or if he got down on one knee when he proposed to my mom. When these questions began flooding my mind my grandparents and dad had already passed. In her last years, my mom’s dementia kept her from answering or she would answer with a creatively imagined story that was far from the truth. I regret not asking when the answers were crisp and available. So many questions will remain forever unanswered.

The ones I don’t want the answers to are tucked in a place I don’t visit often. I don’t want to know the exact day I will leave this Earth. I don’t want to know when my loved ones will leave. And I certainly don’t want or need to know how the departures will occur.

My biggest list may be the questions I hope to have answered in the future. Why are we here? What is our purpose? Why is there pain and suffering? Why do loved ones die young? Why isn’t happiness universally and equally experienced? Why are all the best-tasting foods bad for us and filled with calories? Why are we given such deep connections with dogs, but only allowed to have them for such a short time? Why do mosquitoes bite and cause such irritation? Why does time go so fast? Why do some people have luck and others seem to tumble in a circle of misfortune? Will peace ever be the natural order? Will the world ever be a community of mutual contentment?

I had this writing almost finished when I shared with my daughter and son-in-law what I was writing about. My daughter left the room, returning with a book they had just purchased for me titled, “My Mother’s Life- Mom I Want to Know Everything About You.” It is filled with 200 questions and the space to write the answer. I plan to answer every one of them. When they purchased the book, they had no idea I was writing on this topic. This is the serendipitous magic of life.

We can hope that there will come a time and space where all answers are given. But for now, ask the questions. And, if you are the one holding the answers share your truth with others who want or need to know. Don't be responsible for leaving a trail of unanswered questions.
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
“Ask the questions when you have the opportunity. Don’t be responsible for leaving a trail of unanswered questions."

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Magnificent Moment of The Day

7/16/2021

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So much has happened in our world in the last couple of years. Currently, we are struggling with the stories of devastation and loss due to illness, fires, tornados, hurricanes, drought, buildings collapsing, and destructive choices that humans make that hurt others. I do not have the words or understanding of why these things occur. Because of my own past experiences, I do have empathy for the grief and sadness these tragedies induce.

It is easy to become so overwhelmed by the news reports and the shock of all this sadness that we miss the beauty life holds. I try to find the good in my day. I look for things I can be grateful for. I search for moments. Moments of joy. Moments of happiness. Moments of gratitude. These golden glimpses of love are, at times, easy to miss.

What was your golden moment of the day? That moment when just for an instant life is quiet and the spectacular happens. Can you think of one?

Magnificent Moments occur all the time -- right in front of us. They happen when we least expect it in soft miniature ways and grand glorious ways. They happen as bold aggressive attention grabbers and as mystical whispers.

Watch for the best moment of your day. That moment when grace brushes by you. That moment when just for an instant life is quiet and YOUR spectacular happens. That is your Magnificent Moment of the day!

It may be the unexpected bonus at work; the call from a friend you haven’t heard from in months; or the crisp perfume of morning as you water your garden in the early hours of dawn.

It may be the breath of a baby as they lay sleeping on your shoulder; the excitement of your dog’s greeting when you walk in the door; or the sun as it ripples diamonds across the ocean.

You see, Magnificent Moments are everywhere and given to everyone. When we are children we live in the time and space of Magnificent Moments where everything seems magical. As we age we are blinded by commitments and responsibilities. We hurry through time and space tripping and stumbling right over the magic.

Begin watching for your Magnificent Moment of the day. Catch that one moment when magic moves you to a place of still; a place of awe; a place of wonder. When spectacular happens stop to breathe it in. Savor it and at the end of the day remember how delicious it tasted.

We must all be mindful of the sadness and devastation in life. We will all have our turn when it touches us in deep and personal ways. We must all help others when we can. At the same time, nurture yourself by searching for the magnificence of life. When you are on the lookout you will begin to notice that you are surrounded by golden moments. The challenge will become choosing the one that is the most magnificent!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson: “Be aware of and grateful for Magnificent Moments.”

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I FORGIVE ME

7/9/2021

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There is a poem by *Mary Oliver that begins,
"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on."

Forgiveness is a big word and grows to the status of huge when it is prefaced with the word, self. Forgiving myself is easier to whisper than to accomplish. I say whisper because I would not be so bold as to shout to the world, I FORGIVE ME!
What confidence that would require to be so egoistic as to forgive ourselves! However, this is the most important kind of forgiveness.

Self-forgiveness is a demanding process. We must learn to step carefully on the stones of compassion and acceptance while shame, guilt, regret, and judgment swirl around us. The stones are sharp and jagged as we maneuver our way, growing stronger through the struggle; learning a little here and a little there as we come closer to the green field of forgiveness that waits for us.

We don’t have to be proud of what we have done – and we have all done “it.” The “it” always relates to hurting others or ourselves. Then we put ourselves in a continual critic mode of how bad we are and deserving of punishment. We chastise ourselves with ruthless determination holding ourselves to a higher standard than we do others. We replay a grander drama in our minds than the reality of “it”, believing that what we did was catastrophic.

We create a self-imposed illusion of what others think of us. We construct ideas about ourselves from this illusion. The perceived assessment of others about our actions creates the vulnerability of outside judgment. At times our true fear is not our offense, but that someone will find out that we are living in shame.
Self-forgiveness is not easy. It is not healed instantly or permanently with the wave of a wand.

However, we deserve to treat ourselves with the same compassion we would someone we love. Each time you slip into the murky darkness of shame and guilt you are withholding love from yourself. Pull yourself back. Make amends to those who deserve it. Then move forward. Stop holding yourself as a hostage to the past. Believe that external opinions are out of our control, none of our business, and should hold no influence on our own self-acceptance.

Choose to love YOU. See yourself through your own unconditionally loving eyes.
Remember these words from Mary Oliver…
"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on."

Pennie’s Life Lesson: “When you surrender to shame and guilt you are withholding love from yourself.”

*Poem quote From Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

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THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

7/2/2021

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It happened in Kmart.
It was one of those moments that I can never reproduce, but I will remember it forever as an opening point-- a moment that opened my heart, my understanding, and my eyes to the power of forgiveness.
     “I blame you for nothing, I forgive you everything, and I will always love you.”
He looked shocked, confused, and stunned as he stopped to look at me.
     “What?”
I repeated with a little more importance on always,
     “I blame you for nothing, I forgive you everything, and I will always love you.”

This time the face of my grown child turned to a delicious mixture of relief, acceptance, and love. He dropped the bundle of socks, toiletries, and food that he was holding in his arms into the shopping cart. The hug was long, the tears honest, and the meaning understood.
This is how forgiveness works.

I can easily forgive others for cutting in front of me in line, taking the parking spot I was clearly heading toward, or for a snapping comment that I seem to be on the receiving end of. I assume they are having a difficult day. You never know what the bubble over their head is holding, what is going on in their life, or what hurt they carry. I am happy to report that I have successfully accomplished forgiveness with most people and circumstances in my life.

The disclaimer here is that I am a soul in progress. My humanness allows for human emotions. I have tried countless forgiveness methods, such as:
The Bury and Forget It Method;
The If I Don’t Talk About It, It Didn’t Happen Method;
And the popular, This Person Doesn’t Deserve Forgiveness, So I Am Going To Lock Them In A Box, Put Them On A Shelf To Occasionally Take Down And Kick Them Method.

Forgiveness is a life lesson I continually attempt to perfect. The forgiveness challenge for me has been with those who have harpooned my heart in a penetrating way. When I helped someone, cared for them, and trusted them to hold my heart in friendship or love, only to have them rip it from my chest, pierce it, and then hand it back to me. Is the expectation that I will not feel the scar?

Even more difficult is when a perceived injustice is done to someone I love. Is the expectation that I watch with no malice felt toward the offender?

That day in the shopping isle the answer became a clear, YES. I came to understand that when you forgive, relief, acceptance, and love become a two-way effort. My heart no longer carried the heavy weight of anger, betrayal, and disappointment. I no longer had to continue the painful circle of picking the scab to feel it bleed and begin to heal, only to begin the picking again. When I felt the relief in me that day, the lightening of my spirit, and the release of the burden of carrying all those negative emotions, I realized that forgiving is a gift to myself. I emptied my heart of the dirty work of bitter resentment and opened more space for love. When he heard my words and dropped his bundle into the shopping cart, he also dropped his fear, shame, and regrets which opened more space in his heart to love and be loved.

By forgiving, I am not condoning, excusing, or pardoning another’s actions. I am not saying that in every circumstance I will forget or remove all awareness of the offense in an effort to reconcile a relationship. Some relationships are best left as a lesson in our past.

I am suggesting we begin looking at things differently and open our vision to see that blaming, resenting, and revenge do more harm to ourselves than to others. We are all learning from our humanness. We all make mistakes. We all feel shame. We all inflict hurt. None of us can say we haven’t wronged another.

It’s time we start seeing the power of forgiveness.

Pennie’s Life Lesson: “Forgiveness is a gift that opens more space for love – in you and others.”

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EVERYTHING I WANT

UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

Magnificent Moment of The Day

I FORGIVE ME

THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

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