The Corner of Spirit & Brave

HANGING ON TO THE TOP OF THE LADDER by Pennie Hunt

11/26/2022

My brother and I just returned from a trip to see our sister. We experienced snow-packed roads with stop-and-go traffic, missed flights and long security lines – all the things that come with travel. We just moved forward one step at a time to reach our destination.

For two days we visited our sister. It wasn’t a visit filled with normal family activities. It was two days of my brother and I talking, while my sister watched us. My sister suffers from Alzheimer's Disease.

As we sat with her, I could not help but replay memories in my mind. Memories of our childhood and growing up as the youngest in this line of three. Memories of summer days riding our bikes to the local swimming pool. Family camping trips and vacations to see our grandparents. Memories of sharing a room with her until I was 15 and the day I taped a line down the center of that room to mark the side we should each stay on.

As children we were at the bottom of a tall ladder. Climbing above us were our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. We were excited to climb higher and grow into the life above us. It seemed like a long, long way to the top.

Over the years the stability of that ladder weakened for us as one-by-one great grandparents and grandparents passed. As every generation passed, we moved forward one step at a time. One level higher on the ladder.

Then my dad passed. Years later when we said goodbye to our mom, I remember thinking it was just the three of us now. How odd it was to realize we were now on the last step --the top level of that very high ladder. We became the stability that held the ladder tall and strong for those coming behind us.

As my sister stared at us unable to comprehend our stories or remember who we were, I realized that even our foothold on the ladder is weakening. Seeing my sister in a fragile state is shaking the top of our ladder. There is no guarantee when a shift in the ladder will occur, but it is clear that one of us from the top level may be leaving soon.

Our climb to the top happened so quickly. It was just yesterday that I was on solid ground looking up and anxious to climb the ladder. Now, looking down seems scary. I see the faces of those climbing the ladder below and remember the excitement and challenges of the climb. Looking up I think of all the reasons the generations before us left. Disease, accidents and aging have forced us to climb one level at a time to reach this view from the top. What seemed like a forever climb, wasn’t. It happened in a blink.

We said goodbye to our sister for what may be the last time. Again, we experienced snow-packed roads with stop-and-go traffic, delayed flights and long security lines – all the things that come with travel. It didn’t feel much different than the climb we have had on this ladder of life. Always climbing through the difficult times and grateful for the easy times – all the things that come with life. We just move forward one step at a time until we reach our destination. Until we reach the top of the ladder.

**November is Alzheimer's Awareness Month. I have become deeply aware of the devastation this disease causes to those afflicted and the families that love them. According to Johns Hopkins, there are over 6 million Americans living with Alzheimer’s Disease with 3 million new cases diagnosed each year. There is no cure for this progressive, deadly disease. Unless you or a loved one is touched by Alzheimer’s it is hard to understand the pain of this disease-- I hope you never do.
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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
We are all climbing the ladder of life.
Hold on tight - it goes quickly.
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YOUR TURN...
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
PennieHunt@gmail.com.
Thank you!
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ARE YOU A NUMBER PERSON OR A WORD PERSON? By Pennie Hunt

11/18/2022

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I believe everyone is either a number person or a word person. Which one are you? There isn’t a right or wrong answer.

A number person loves spreadsheets filled with numbers, tracking amounts and calculating percentages. When they don’t feel well, they will say things like, “I only feel about 50% today.”

They like to give you scales to rate things… on a scale from 1-10 how strong is your pain. They remember the date and time that everything happened. Birthdays, anniversaries, and the day they bought their first car. They know the make and model of every car they ever owned! They can rattle off statistics about every topic they are interested in.
Does that sound like you?

Not me. I like numbers. I am fascinated with numerology and the connections numbers make to our name, our birth date and events that happen in our life. That may be where my fascination with numbers ends.

I do have spreadsheets filled with names. I track my progress in journals filled with words explaining how much better or worse I am doing. Percentages? I don’t go there. When I don’t feel well, I will explain what hurts, how much it hurts and how long it has been hurting. I feel terrible, mediocre or fantastic! No 1-10 in my mind. My thoughts process in feelings and emotions, not percentages or scales.

I might not remember the exact date when events happened, but I can tell you what season it was, how the air smelled, if the wind was blowing, how happy everyone was and what I was wearing. My memory clicks through scenes as if there is a movie camera in my mind rewinding and playing the video.

I remember seeing my first car for the first time. I danced circles around it and couldn’t wait to slide into the blue seat that smelled the way old vinyl smells. I can tell you how the radio belted out Elton John’s Tiny Dancer and how the windshield wipers sounded when they swooshed from side to side. I do remember what kind of car it was because it became her name – Rambler!

Word people name everything! My current car is named Ruby. She followed Liberty, Blaze and so many others. My refrigerator is Kevin. And a few years ago, on a blustery fall day when the leaves were swirling yellow and red in my driveway, Thelma and Louise were taken away to a place where old washers and dryers retire. That is the day Lavern and Shirley came into my life. They sparkle and shine proudly in my laundry room.

I love words. I love the way they sound rolling out of my mouth. I love playing with them, rearranging them, and creating stories about life’s progress and setbacks with them.

Number people love numbers. They love the way they bounce around in their minds. They love playing with them, rearranging them and creating stories about life’s progress and setbacks with them.

Word people and number people aren’t that different. We may speak a different version of the same language, but we are saying the same thing. Sometimes the two types of people collide in disagreements and disconnection. When we realize we are just framing life in a different way communication becomes easier.

I may describe my life and progress with colorful words and descriptions. A number person may chart their life and progress with percentages and monetary increases. In the end, we tell the same story.

Are you a number person or a word person?
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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Number people and word people frame life in a different way.
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BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU HIDE YOUR CRUMBS By Pennie Hunt

11/11/2022

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“You have to catch the crumbs and hide them so that no one sees them, and they don’t destroy the beauty of the design.”

For many years I taught cake decorating for the Wilton Company. It was a skill I learned from my grandmother. Throughout high school, I created birthday, anniversary, graduation and wedding cakes in my mom’s kitchen. I ordered so many cake decorating supplies from the Wilton Company that they contacted me to teach for them.

I enjoyed teaching the skill of spinning a flower nail around to create a frosting rose and bobbing a frosting-filled bag up and down to create swirling borders. In the first class session, I would explain the process of preparing the cake to decorate.

I have a few decorating secrets that I rarely share, but one that I taught that first night was called crumb frosting. This is where you brush off the loose crumbs and then cover the cake with a light coating of frosting to lock in any remaining crumbs. When you add the final layer of frosting the crumbs are secured in the first layer and do not show through or tarnish the cake with unwanted speckles. No one wants to see the crumbs. I would tell my students,
“You have to catch the crumbs and hide them so that no one sees them, and they don’t destroy the beauty of the design.”

This technique created a smooth canvas for the final layer of flowers, borders and words. It was this top layer of beauty that people noticed without ever realizing there were crumbs hidden underneath. No one wants to see the crumbs, right?
Layering is an interesting concept. We layer our makeup on our face in the morning. Foundation, blush, mascara, lipstick… all to conceal our flaws.
No one wants to see our flaws, right?

When I paint, I begin with what is furthest away. Painting the sky, then mountains, then a lake and trees. Layering until I paint the grass that I could reach out and touch right in front of me. If I make a mistake in the first few layers, they are easily covered by the time I am done with the painting.
We don’t want to destroy the beauty of the design with mistakes, right?

In life, we layer our feelings. If someone says something unkind to us, it may hurt our feelings, but we can brush off the little crumbs. The little jabs, disappointments and broken promises get locked into the layer like crumb frosting and can’t be seen on the outside. It becomes a problem when it happens over and over again. We can only layer so much. If there are too many crumbs to cover the outside is going to show the speckles and flaws. Sometimes this takes years of layering, but eventually there will be a crack. The years of hiding and covering our feelings will spill out.

Just like there is a technique for frosting a cake, putting on makeup and painting, we must pay attention to how we manage our feelings. We must learn how to brush off the small ones and address the big ones. Smoothing them over into hidden layers without expressing them, talking about them or processing them can be a dangerous way of dealing with them. Your layered feelings will build until eventually exploding into health issues, relationship issues or emotional issues.

Be aware when you layer your feelings. You don’t have to catch all the crumbs and hide them so that no one sees them. Learn to express feelings in a healthy, kind way. Show the true beautiful design of who you are - feelings, flaws and all.
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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Don’t hide your feelings- express them in a healthy, kind way.
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TODAY I LEARNED A LESSON by Pennie Hunt

11/4/2022

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“Are you always this positive?”
This is the number one question I get asked when people meet me in person.
My answer is a very quick, No!

I write and speak about happiness, love and seeing the positive side of life. I also write and speak about grief, loss and sadness. We all have a stew of emotions that we carry around. Yes, I do my best to see the good side of everything and I encourage others to do the same, but there are moments when I slip. When I do, my husband will say, “That wasn’t very Pennie-Hunt-dot-com-like” – referring to my website which is packed with my uplifting quotes and writings.

Yesterday was one of those days when my action was not very Pennie-Hunt-dot-com-like.

This week I finished my 3rd book and sent it off to my publisher. After many months in the mental creation and writing process, I was ecstatic to be handing it over. That ecstasy was fleeting as I quickly moved into the reality of knowing it was not really finished. Now it is a process of back and forth with my editor, proofreader, and layout designer. All these steps rattle a different set of my nerves.

My lovely project manager, Dana, keeps these moving pieces flowing. She has been playing middle person between me and the designer for weeks to create the vision I had in my mind for the book cover. Yesterday I opened an email containing what I thought would be the final version, only to find it had not been tweaked correctly according to my last requests.

Hurriedly I sent back an email reiterating the last directions and expressing my concerns. When I received her response, it was filled with apologetic comments. I was a bit confused until I reread the email I had sent. It was strong. It sounded grumpy. It was definitely NOT Pennie-Hunt-dot-com-like! I quickly realized why I received the over-apologetic email response.

I wanted to crawl under the covers and begin the day again. I wanted to take back the email. All the positivity I promote and encourage others to do was instantly sucked from my body. I had a vision of how my email must have hit her, how it must have ruined her day. I felt like a failure.

I quickly sent her an email saying I was sorry about the way my email must have come across to her and blamed it on the inhumaneness of communicating through technology. Then I sent her a second email apologizing again.

Past lessons that I have written about came pouring through my head. I began beating myself up with my own comments like- you can’t take back words; words hold power; be kind. And yes, the one that hits me like a dagger… “That wasn’t very Pennie-Hunt-dot-com-like!

My mind was in rare form letting the negative self-talk jab me with punch after punch. Then my heart kicked in. It pushed back by reminding me that I am human and that I make mistakes. The punching from my mind and the pushback from my heart continued most of the day. It takes time for the heart to be strong enough to squelch the power of the mind.

As with most of my life lessons, this one was a hard one. As much as we all try, none of us are perfect. When we slip, we should apologize and fix what we can. Then see the opportunity to practice patience, understanding, and acceptance of ourselves. Forgive the humanness in ourselves and when you are on the receiving end of someone’s bad day, frustration, confusion, or anger, offer them the same.

Today is a new day. I know I will never be perfect, but today I plan to be a little better than the person that I was yesterday.

The next time I am asked, “Are you always this positive?”
My answer will be a very quick, “No! I try, but I’m not perfect and still have many lessons to learn.”
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Pennie Life Lesson:
Today, don’t try to be perfect,
just try to be a little better than the person you were yesterday.
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HANGING ON TO THE TOP OF THE LADDER by Pennie Hunt

ARE YOU A NUMBER PERSON OR A WORD PERSON? By Pennie Hunt

BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU HIDE YOUR CRUMBS By Pennie Hunt

TODAY I LEARNED A LESSON by Pennie Hunt

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