 I FORGIVE ME! There is a poem by Mary Oliver that begins, You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Forgiveness is a big word and grows to the status of huge when it is prefaced with the word, self. Forgiving myself is easier to whisper than to accomplish. I say whisper because I would not be so bold as to shout to the world, I FORGIVE ME! What confidence that would require to be so egoistic as to forgive ourselves! However this is the most important kind of forgiveness. Self-forgiveness is a demanding process. We must learn to step carefully on the stones of compassion and acceptance while shame, guilt, regret and judgment swirl around us. The stones are sharp and jagged as we maneuver our way, growing stronger through the struggle; learning a little here and a little there as we come closer to the green field of forgiveness that waits for us. We don’t have to be proud of what we have done – and we have all done “it.” The “it” always relates to hurting others or ourselves. Then we put ourselves in continual critic mode of how bad we are and deserving of punishment. We chastise ourselves with ruthless determination holding ourselves to a higher standard than we do others. We replay a grander drama in our minds than the reality of “it”, believing that what we did was catastrophic. We create a self-imposed illusion of what others think of us. We construct ideas about ourselves from this illusion. The perceived assessment of others about our actions creates the vulnerability of outside judgment. At times our true fear is not our offense, but that someone will find out that we are living in shame. Self-forgiveness is not easy. It is not healed instantly or permanently with the wave of a wand. However, we deserve to treat ourselves with the same compassion we would someone we love. Each time you slip into the murky darkness of shame and guilt you are withholding love from yourself. Pull yourself back. Make amends to those who deserve it. Then move forward. Stop holding yourself as a hostage to the past. Believe that external opinions are out of our control, none of our business and should hold no influence on our own self-acceptance. Choose to love YOU. See yourself through your own unconditionally loving eyes. Remember… You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie's Life Lesson: “When you surrender to shame and guilt you are withholding love from yourself.” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ YOUR TURN... My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to practice the most important kind of forgiveness - self-forgiveness! Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below . And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2014 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information. If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission please email: [email protected] Thank you!
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 WHAT IS YOUR
SOUL GOAL? Goals. We hear about them all the time. Goals at school. Goals at work. Goals for the new year. Goals for our finances, our love life, and our status. Goals, goals,goals! This is not a lecture on how to write a goal and stick to it. I want you to think about the goal that matters the most – your Soul Goal. You may already be neck deep in your life goals. You are probably already measuring them, tracking them and think you have everything under control. Yet, are you experiencing a little gnawing inside. Is there a tiny whisper nibbling at your heart? Has it been there for years, but you have hushed it? That whisper is your Soul Goal. The good news is this is one goal you don’t have to write down, track or measure. You just need to listen to your heart because it is already there. I believe the soul is the script of all we have been and all we will be. It has drama, action, comedy, heartbreak and love coded into this personal documentary. Yes, there is an intended outcome to the story. I believe the ending to your script is to successfully learn how to love yourself and others. The Soul Goal is our personal method of how we accomplish that. Have you always had a desire to paint, work with animals or heal? If we are here to learn how to love ourselves and others and your inner desire is to paint, then you learn to love yourself by painting. By painting you create art that is a gift you can share with others. In doing so you touch their hearts. You love others by creating your art. If your inner desire is to heal, you may become a doctor, nurse, counselor, or Reiki Master. You love yourself by following your inner voice and by doing this you heal and love others. You touch their hearts. You love others by healing. Do you see how this works? Your Soul Goal is the technique by which you reach the outcome of loving yourself and others. Listen to your whisper. Pay attention to the gnawing. If it is unclear what your Soul Goal is – pay attention to when you feel the most alive, happy and content. This is the criteria for your Soul Goal. This doesn’t have to be difficult. I am a writer and a speaker. While working through other careers in my life, the whisper, the gnawing was always there. I would attempt to incorporate snippets of my Soul Goal into my work. I would speak about my work topics and I would write heart-filled stories and give them as gifts. I knew when I was doing this I felt the most alive, happy and content. My Soul Goal is simple. It is one line: To share my life lessons through speaking and writing. In the process I love myself by doing what makes me feel the most alive. I love others by reaching out my heart to touch theirs. I’m not suggesting you give up all of your other goals. School, work, family and life goals matter. I’m not suggesting you quit your job to become a starving artist. What I am suggesting is that you listen to your heart as it whispers your Soul Goal. I am suggesting you find a way to incorporate this whisper into your life. You don’t have to create ideas that you format into action steps and turn these into strategies and objectives. None of this is necessary. You can tip toe into accomplishing your Soul Goal. Take a painting class one night a week. Volunteer at an animal rescue center or a nursing home. Whatever your whisper is calling you to do, find a place and begin Remember, your Soul Goal makes you feel alive, happy and content. It should be fun! It should bring you joy! It just takes loving yourself enough to do what your soul is asking you to do. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie's Life Lesson: “When you fulfill your Soul Goal you feel alive, happy and content.” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ YOUR TURN... My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to live your Soul Goal and understand when you do you will be filled with life! Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below . And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2014 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information. If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission please email: [email protected] Thank you!  THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS It happened in Kmart. It was one of those moments that I can never reproduce, but I will remember it forever as an opening point-- A moment that opened my heart, my understanding and my eyes to the power of forgiveness. “I blame you for nothing, I forgive you everything and I will always love you.” He looked shocked, confused and stunned as he stopped to look at me. “What?” I repeated with a little more importance on always, “I blame you for nothing, I forgive you everything and I will always love you.” This time the face of my grown child turned to a delicious mixture of relief, acceptance and love. He dropped the bundle of socks, toiletries and food that he was holding in his arms into the shopping cart. The hug was long, the tears honest and the meaning understood. This is how forgiveness works. I can easily forgive others for cutting in front of me in line, taking the parking spot I was clearly heading toward or for a snapping comment that I seem to be on the receiving end of. I assume they are having a difficult day. You never know what the bubble over their head is holding, what is going on in their life, or what hurt they carry. I am happy to report that I have successfully accomplished forgiveness with most people and circumstances in my life. The disclaimer here is that I am a soul in progress. My humanness allows for human emotions. I have tried countless forgiveness methods, such as: The Bury and Forget It Method; The If I Don’t Talk About It, It Didn't Happen Method; And the popular This Person Doesn't Deserve Forgiveness, So I Am Going To Lock Them In A Box, Put Them On A Shelf To Occasionally Take Down And Kick Them Method. Forgiveness is a life lesson I continually attempt to perfect. The forgiveness challenge for me has been with those who have harpooned my heart in a penetrating way. When I helped someone, cared for them and trusted them to hold my heart in friendship or love, only to have them rip it from my chest, pierce it and then hand it back to me. Is the expectation that I won’t feel the scar? Even more difficult is when a perceived injustice is done to someone I love. Is the expectation that I watch with no malice felt toward the offender? That day in the shopping isle the answer became a clear, YES. I came to understand that when you forgive, relief, acceptance and love become a two-way effort. My heart no longer carried the heavy weight of anger, betrayal and disappointment. I no longer had to continue the painful circle of picking the scab to feel it bleed and begin to heal, only to begin the picking again. When I felt the relief in me that day, the lightening of my spirit, and the release of the burden of carrying all those negative emotions, I realized that forgiving is a gift to myself. I emptied my heart of the dirty work of bitter resentment and opened more space for love. When he heard my words and dropped his bundle into the shopping cart he also dropped his fear, shame and regrets and opened more space in his heart to love and be loved. By forgiving, I am not condoning, excusing or pardoning another’s actions. I am not saying that in every circumstance I will forget or remove all awareness of the offense in an effort to reconcile a relationship. Some relationships are best left as a lesson in our past. I am suggesting we begin looking at things differently and open our vision to see that blaming, resenting and revenge do more harm to ourselves than to others. We are all learning from our humanness. We all make mistakes. We all feel shame. We all inflict hurt. None of us can say we haven’t wronged another. It’s time we start seeing the power of forgiveness. Pennie’s Life Lesson: “Forgiveness is a gift that opens more space for love – in you and others.” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ YOUR TURN... My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to forgive. Let go of past hurts. Forgive others AND forgive yourself! Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below . And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2014 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information. If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission please email: [email protected] Thank you!  WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE TOILET OVERFLOWS
I felt overwhelmed. With several speaking engagements ahead of me, blogs to write and my self-imposed deadline for the completion of my book, I felt like the toilet had just overflowed. You know, that panicked feeling of running to get the plunger as the water overflows and every towel you own is being thrown on the floor in an effort to control. The smell of not feeling Good Enough was quickly rising to the top of my bowl. How would I ever get it all done? So I did the logical thing – I turned the valve to OFF. I stopped the gushing stream that overflowed my mind and walked away from all the fear, pressure and commitments. I went outside and dug holes. I put my hands in the black dirt. I dug holes for tomato plants. I dug holes for bushes. I dug holes for geraniums and marigolds. I layered each hole with peat moss, potting soil and vermiculite and then gently placed plants inside carefully pushing the earth around the roots and up to the stem. My body eased and relaxed as I enjoyed the process of nurturing. My mind did nothing except watch the movement of my hands. It had emptied to a space of quiet silence with no worries of deadlines or commitments. The valve remained OFF. Suddenly it became very clear to me how easy it would be to complete all of my obligations. I had just been “Layering” myself in a dangerous way. Instead of layering myself with the joy of what I was doing, in the same loving way I layered the soil around the plants, I had been layering myself in a negative way… I wasn't being gentle, careful or kind. I was being self-demanding to the point of overwhelm. No wonder I felt blocked like the water was flooding over. In the process, instead of allowing my roots to stretch in the delightful enjoyment of these life opportunities I had tightened myself into a root bound knot with two options. I could either continue to squeeze the grip around myself forever running in an effort to control or I could clear my mind, do nothing and allow myself the time to relax into the joy of life. Meditation comes in many forms. Today it arrived while my hands were in the dirt and I realized that when you allow your mind the space to do nothing – it becomes easier to do everything. Pennie’s Life Lesson: “When you allow your mind the space to do nothing – it becomes easier to do everything.” YOUR TURN... My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to step back when you are feeling overwhelmed. In the space between overwhelm and that step you may find clarity. Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below . And please feel free to email me at: [email protected]. Thank you! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ All Rights Reserved Copyright © 2013-2014 Pennie Hunt This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt. Feel free to forward this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information. If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission please email: [email protected] Thank you! |
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PLEASE NOTE: This page does not provide medical or legal advice, professional diagnosis, opinion, treatment or services to you or to any other individual. Through this site and links to other sites, Pennie Hunt provides general information for inspiration, encouragement and educational purposes only. The information provided in this site, or through links to other sites, is not a substitute for legal, medical, or professional care, and you should not use the information in place of a visit, call or the advice of your lawyer, physician or other healthcare provider. |