When was the first time you felt like you belonged somewhere? Does the memory push you all the way back to your childhood? Your family? Elementary school?
When was the last time you felt like you didn’t belong? Was it recent? Were you embarrassed? Sad? Lonely? Afraid?

Are you part of a group, a team, a school, a club, a crew, a tribe, a family, a religion, a generation or a community? Of course you are. We are all affiliated in some way to a collection of others with a common interest or bond. Humans have a need for inclusion and connection. We fear and avoid isolation. So we join. We conform. We wear the uniform. We know the handshake, the secret knock on the door and the private password.
 
We are taught to mirror the actions and mannerisms of another person so they accept us as a reflection of themselves. We want acceptance and approval. We want to fit in. It is why as a teenager you may have tasted your first beer when you were at a party with friends. You probably hated it but kept sipping it until the taste was tolerable. You felt like you belonged. You felt like you were part of the cool kids. 
 
We mimic the actions of others because we don’t feel worthy to be accepted and included unless we do. We adapt and accept the expectations that the group has for us to be a member. 

Some of this is necessary. In kindergarten we learned how to stand in line, raise our hand, wait our turn and share in order to function in a space of civility and kindness. As we grew, we learned the basics of polite and compassionate living to be accepted as a member of our human society. 
 
For many people the need to belong is an instinct - a requirement for human survival. It can push us to act in ways that feel uncomfortable or are out of character. When we bend and mold ourselves to be such a contorted version of who we are that we don’t recognize our own reflection in the mirror, it becomes a problem. 

What if we could be ourselves? Our crazy, goofy, wild authentic self? 
What if we looked at each other not with our eyes, but with our hearts? Can you drop the expectation you hold for yourself and others and be open to the exploration of who YOU are… of who THEY are? 
 
Stand in your own light and learn to accept yourself. Find the people who will see YOU and love YOU. You may lose some people from your life who only liked you for who you were pretending to be. But when you step into your light and let yourself free to be who you really are, you will attract the people who should be standing with you. You will attract the people that love and adore the real you. You won’t have to work so hard to fit in. You will finally feel like you belong in a way you never have before.  
 
Pennie’s Life Lesson: When you allow yourself to be the authentic person you really are, you will attract the people you are meant to be with.

YOUR TURN...        
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                                      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                         All Rights Reserved
                                          Copyright © 2013-2022 Pennie Hunt
                             This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information. ​

MIND BODY AND SOUL FOOD

​If we are what we eat then today I am oatmeal, blueberries, a turkey sandwich, an apple, salmon, salad and green beans.
Oh, and a medium vanilla chai latte and one...okay, two really tasty sugar cookies. 
Well, I'm not perfect!

Think about what else we feed ourselves every day that helps to create who we are. 

Did you savor the taste of love and joy?
or
Did you eat a big helping of self-criticism and negative talk?

Did you swallow shame and guilt?

How much anger and resentment did you chew on today? 

What about that green smoothie of jealousy you had for a midafternoon snack? 

And then right before bed did you munch on doubt and insecurity?

All of these things blend into one big combo meal of emotions and feelings that feed who we are. Have you heard the expression, "junk in- junk out?"

This is exactly what happens to your body and life.  In the same way eating high calorie, sugar-filled junk food will show outwardly in the form of weight gain, when you feed yourself negativity then negativity will show outwardly to create a life of anger, depression and pain.

Isn't it time to pay attention to what you feed your mind, body and soul? 

Create a menu of positive self-empowering mind, body and soul food.

Begin mixing in healthy amounts of gratitude and self-care into your diet. 

None of us are perfect and along with the occasional really tasty sugar cookie there will be times that negative self-talk, doubt or shame will sneak into your daily diet. 

Forgive yourself when you indulge in these and then - move on!

If you knew you had the power to create happiness in your life wouldn't you do it?

Well, you do!

It all starts with being grateful. Begin and end each day in gratitude. Just like weight lifting begins strengthening your body with one work out at a time, exercising your gratitude and self- compassion muscles will reshape your life one thank-you and one act of self-love at a time.  

Gratitude leads to love, joy and kindness.   When you begin fueling your soul with these it will show outwardly bringing happiness to your life. 

YOU do have the power to become what you eat!  Eat wisely. 
                 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
Pennie's Life Lesson:
     "You are what you eat --
          feed love to your mind, body and soul!"
                   ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~                               
YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to pay attention to your negative self-talk and emotions that you consume and replace them with loving self-care and gratitude. 

Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below .  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​

​               ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~           
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.

This is a "Pennies From The Past" that I wrote in 2013.  On September 13, 2018 I will  have been in the water 11 years... and still I wear my life vest. 

LIFE VEST

I was forced in the water 5 years, 8 months and 5 days ago.
She was pushed recently. 

I met her last month.  Immediately, I saw the ache in her eyes as we spoke; the hurt that hides behind the everyday chit chat and smiles.  I know too well how to recognize the look of buried pain that is in the eyes of every grieving parent.

We shared photographs.  We all carry one.  Some are wrinkled and worn and some are sealed in protective covers to keep them safe.  I noticed the care she took when I handed her the picture of my son, J.T. and the loving way she brushed her fingers over it.  I silently thanked her for that.  I did the same with her photograph. 

We parents with angel children understand that the love we send them does not stop just because they are not physically here with us. 

Our stories are different, and yet the same.  The love we feel for our children.  The pain we feel without them.  The memories, the "did-that's”, the "wish-we-could's," the missing and the wanting all roll into one similar pond of pain.

I am further in the water than she is.  The hot and cold of it, the swirling and splashing is a continual dance of how we maneuver without drowning.  The trick is to do it with the grace and balance required to keep our heads above water -and breathing--always breathing.

At times I have fought the water current and at times I have floundered reaching for a life vest. The life vest has become one I wear secretly like bullet proof protection under my clothes with the hope that nothing this painful will ever penetrate my heart again. 

I continue forward.  I see others in the distance, with well-worn life vests, who have maneuvered the water much longer than I have.  I feel comfort in knowing they are leaving a trail to follow.

I turn to see the ones behind me as they wade in, stumbling and unsure if they will survive the voyage.  I reach my hand back to steady them as the waves hit, listen to them as they cry and help them position their life vests.

After 5 years, 8 months and 5 days I have learned to swim a little better. But, I will always wear my life vest. 
             ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie's Life Lesson:
           “Sometimes we need a life vest    
             and  sometimes we can be
             a life vest for others.”
            ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to reach out to others going through a difficult experience-- one that you have lived through!  ​
​Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below .
 And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~           
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.

THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE


It seemed like a giant step to the front platform of the church.

When the piano began playing it was our cue to begin singing.  Each time we visited our grandmother who lived states away, my brother, sister and I sang, This Little Light of Mine, at the Hurricane Baptist Church.

When we sang my body swayed back and forth – mostly from nerves.  My eyes linked to the glowing face of my grandmother. Her smile encouraged me to sing loud and strong. I loved her and would do anything to make her proud and happy – even overcome the fear I felt standing on a huge stage in front of a crowd to sing the same lyrics year after year. 

Not long ago I was back in the Hurricane Baptist Church.  As I stood in the pew looking at the one small step to the front platform I realized the passing of time had shrunk the size and scale of the space I stood in as a little girl.

Decades of events skipped through my mind. This was the church where my parents were married. This was the church where I cried at funerals.  And this was the church where I learned the song that I could hear as it circled my memory now.  

Occasionally, a life lesson is a long time in the learning.  Standing in that pew I realized the lesson my grandmother was very intentionally teaching.  We could have sung a different song every year, but it was always THAT song.  She wanted us to sing it over and over again until we understood the meaning. 

We all have our own unique spirit inside; a one of a kind light that needs to shine.  We must bravely allow our individual personality, our talent and our joy to be seen and shared.  We must have the courage to stand up in front of others and hold up our light.  And, never allow anyone to smother it.  What a bold and bright lesson in one little song. 

This church was my grandmother’s space; a home where she felt love and joy.  This is where HER light shinned. This is where I followed her encouragement and love to take that giant step as a little girl.  This is where I held up my little light and allowed it to shine boldly, brightly and bravely. This is where I now understood the power of my spirit and the importance of bringing it out into the open space for others to see.

Yes, this little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.

Pennie’s Life Lesson: “Allow your light to shine boldly, brightly and bravely…only then will you know the power of your  spirit.”   
                    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~               

​YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to shine the inner spirit of who you are to the rest of the world.  It is in this light you will find fulfillment and happiness.  How do you let your light shine? 
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below .
 And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~           
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.

Q-Tip It!

Years ago when my husband and I were dating I learned a powerful lesson.


He would occasionally say something like,
      “I need a couple of days.” 

Of course I immediately took this personally and thought something was wrong.  I would call him and stop by his house to see if he was okay, after all I must have said or done something to upset him.

 He would assure me I hadn't and that it didn't have anything to do with me or “us.” 

I soon realized he was right.  It didn't have anything to do with me.  We just have different ways of recharging.
He needs downtime.
He needs a quiet respite to rest, relax and regenerate.

For me, when I need recharging I feed on the energy of being with people.  Talking, laughing and companionship regenerates me, so of course when he would tell me he needed time to himself I felt pushed away.
I took it personally. 

How many times in life do we take things personally and the reality is that it has nothing to do with us?  Whenever a stressful situation occurs many of us default immediately to the negative.  We blame ourselves.

Let’s look at it differently.
Let go of the immediate assumption and realize it isn't always about us…it could always be something else that causes someone to be cranky, in a hurry or snap at us.  

Here is a trick to help with this self-inflicted internalization of stress.  Q-tip it!  Yes, Q-tip it!
        Quit Taking It Personally!

As a reminder, take a couple of Q-Tips and tape them to your computer, your bathroom mirror, or your car visor.  Look at them often and when something happens in life that sets off your internal blame game, remember to Q-Tip it! 

The lesson I learned from my (now) husband all those years ago has saved me from many hours of needless worry.
It isn't always about me.
And guess what, now we recharge using what works for both of us.  We recharge together, laughing, talking and in the quiet space of each other’s companionship.  
                   ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
       “When the stress of life sets off your  
         internal blame game, Q-tip it!
             Quit Taking It personally!”
            ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to think about why things upset you... are you taking it personally when it has nothing to do with you?  

Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below .
 And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                        Thank you!  
                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~           
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.

    IMPORTANT    
       ENOUGH

I didn’t feel quite right when I woke up, but I had a “To Do” list that was heavier than the increased throbbing of my head. 

I hustled through my shower and scurried my two dogs to the groomer. I met a friend for a quick breakfast and then my plan included grocery shopping, blog writing, cleaning out a closet… the list went on. 

My husband would be returning from a trip just in time to make our dinner reservations.  It was a busy day. 

But none of that happened. 
My stomach immediately began swirling after breakfast and my body quickly began a downward spiral. 
I am not one to get sick. 
I NEVER get sick. 

Well, more accurately, I NEVER allow myself the time to be sick.  Typically I push through days like this ignoring the discomfort of a headache or a cold.  Rarely do I ever admit that I don’t feel well.

I decided I would go back home and lay down for an hour and then I would be fine and right back into my list. 
I called my husband and told him my plan.  He said,
     “Why put an hour limit on it…
      just go back to bed until you feel better.”
 
It was a head game for a while with that voice telling me,
     you don’t feel that bad,
     you have things to do,
     people depending on you..
     get up ….GET UP!

The concept of actually allowing myself time to heal was foreign to me, but as the hour turned into two and my body was continuing into a dark circle of ugliness I conceded. 

I was going to do it this time. 
I was going to sink into the safety of my bed allowing my body to heal instead of pushing it as if it wasn’t important enough to take care of..as if "I" wasn’t important enough to take care of.

My husband called and said he was coming home early to pick up the dogs, cancel the dinner reservation and take care of everything.  The urge to argue was muffled by my meek, “ok.”
I needed help.

My head sunk further into the comfort of my pillow and my body deepened into the cocoon of my bed.  I allowed myself to rest.
  
After 7 hours I attempted hot tea, a piece of toast and juice. 
Then it was back to my bed for 12 hours. 

As the sun came up on day two I moved to the couch.  The concept of being vertical was not yet in my body’s plan. 

Although I encourage others to practice self-care, sometimes I am not very good at it myself. After 48 hours of blurred memories are behind me one concept became very clear.   
It is ok to ask for help. 
It is ok to be sick. 
It is ok to allow your body time to rest, restore and heal.
I am important enough to be taken care of.             ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~ ~                                       Pennie Life Lesson: 
 “Listen to your body.  Allow yourself time to rest, restore and heal.”
           ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~ ~  ​

My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to be kind to yourself.  Take care of yourself.  Allow yourself time to heal. 

YOUR TURN - Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
                [email protected]. 
                          Thank you!  
                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~           
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.

​EMOTIONAL BENEFITS

We are all on a search for "Emotional Benefits."
We all freely give
"I love you's" with the expectation that we will receive an I love you in return.    

Everything we do, say, act on or experience is with the expectation of making us feel good, feel happy, feel important or feel loved.

Our need to connect and belong is a driver in life.  Emotional benefit is attached.

Why do you think our world is so dependent on the buzzing of our cell phones? Because with every vibrational Tweet, every chiming phone call and every new friend request on Facebook we feel loved, needed, and wanted. We act with our heart and grab the phone!
Emotional benefit is attached. 

Unfortunately, we do very little in life without the expectation of reciprocity. We have learned this mutual give and take expectation throughout our life.

If I pick you for the volley ball team, Iexpect you will pick me next time.
If I invite you to lunch, I expect you to invite me to lunch.
If I FRIEND you on Facebook, I expect you to Friend me.
If I tell you I love you, I expect you to tell me you love me.
We expect this mutual exchange.
Emotional benefit is attached.

Imagine if we took the expectation out of the equation. Imagine if we friended, liked and loved just for the joy of friending, liking and loving.

Imagine joyfully giving without the expectation of an obligatory comparable response. 

I believe the real law of reciprocity should be based on our intent. 
If your intent is ~ 
     I will do this in order to receive that in           return -- then you are living your life in           a self-centered way. 

If your intent is ~
     I will do this with no expectation of                 return --  then you are living your life in           an other-centered way. 

You are making more deposits in the bank of emotional benefits than you expect to withdraw. 

Then the magic happens.
By changing the expectation of reciprocity, the Emotional Benefit we give to others will increase. The conditions of the game will be removed. Your own Emotional Benefit account will begin to overflow.

It will become clear that by acting with our heart in an other-centered way the search for our own Emotional Benefits will begin and end with making others feel good, happy, important and loved.
              ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~
Pennie's Life Lesson:
        “Unconditionally give and love
          for the joy of giving and loving.”  
              ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to look at your life and realize when enough is enough. 
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
                [email protected]. 
                          Thank you!  
                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.
 If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission  please email: [email protected]

DON'T MAKE YOURSELF SMALL
​
"I'll try to make myself as small as possible,"
she said as she pulled her arms close to her body and settled into the middle seat between me and the man sleeping by the window.
 
When I fly, I have learned to take the aisle seat when I can. It allows me to exit quickly when the plane lands and to have one side free, giving the perception of more space. At times I enjoy the window seat, but I really hate the dreaded middle seat.
 
When my new seat mate made her comment,  I laughed and responded with some fluffy chit chat about how the middle seat is a tuff one to sit in.
 
The plane took off.
Ear phones on.
Pretzels delivered. 
 
The comment floated in my head…
  I'll try to make myself as small as possible.
 
I thought about how many times I had done that in life...made myself small to allow room for others to have the space they need, to be comfortable, to spread their wings, to shine in the spotlight...even if it was at the expense of my own comfort.
 
An honorable thing to do, right?
 
Well, yes, it can be at the right moment, for the right reason. The problem is, it can become a habit. 
 
If you constantly pull back in the shadow of others you are not allowing your soul to shine. The beauty of YOU is hidden. The gifts you were brought here to share will never be known.
I believe we are here to stretch our souls. To learn. To teach. To love. 
We cannot do this with our arms pulled in forcing our bodies to contort into a small version of our real self.
 
Stand tall. 
Put those arms up.
Speak your message.
Let your soul out to shine in the spotlight of life.
Only then will you gift the world with the real you.
The YOU you were sent here to be.
The YOU you were sent to share.
Only then will the real YOU be loved.
               ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 
Pennie's Life Lesson:
           "Don't make yourself small
         in order to make someone else                                                seem big."
               ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ​

YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to help all of us see our own mental red pen and to try an alternative to judging-- try observing.

​Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
                [email protected]. 
                          Thank you!  
                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2018 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.
 If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission  please email: [email protected]

      THE SPACE         
      BETWEEN

Have you ever thought about the space between?

The space between the thought and
​ saying it.  
The space between the idea and doing it. 
The space between the ring of a phone and saying hello.
The space between the moment of opportunity and the miss.

The space between is that sacred second of decision? That instant when you make a decision to do something – or not.

Hawaii has a phenomenon known as the Green Flash.  It is a blink-of-the-eye blaze of intense emerald green that occurs in the second that the sunsets on the horizon of the ocean.  The mystical space between day and night.
​
The Green Flash is just that – a flash that lasts a second, or maybe two.  It isn’t visible with every sunset and because of the quickness of its presence it is easy to miss.

We are given “the space between”  many times in our days and our lives.  When missed, we feel regret, remorse and sorrow.  We fear we will never have the chance again to say the words, implement the idea, pick up the phone or grasp the opportunity. 

The space between often times is not something we can predict or create again.  We don’t always get a do over, but we can hone our sense of understanding of the Green Flashes in our lives.
 Never allow closed eyes to stop you from seeing them and never allow fear to keep you from taking action.

Use the space between.
Use your sacred second to take a breath and…
Put your thoughts into words and say them out loud.
Take your idea from your mind to reality.
Answer the call.
Recognize the opportunity and jump when you see the opening.

Don’t blink in that split second when the sun sets.  Open your eyes and be ready for yourGreen Flash.
                    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
​ “Never allow closed eyes to stop you from seeing opportunities and never allow fear to keep you from taking action.”
​                 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~       

My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to watch for your sacred seconds of decision - don't miss a Green Flash in your life! 
YOUR TURN - 
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
                [email protected]. 
                          Thank you!  
                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2017 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.
 If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission  please email: [email protected]

My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to create a space of calm in your home... a place for you to feel safe and loved. 

YOUR TURN - Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
                [email protected]. 
                          Thank you!  
                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2017 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.
 If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission  please email: [email protected]

            ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
My intent in sharing this with you is to speak your truth - especially if it can help others!  

YOUR TURN - Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
                [email protected]. 
                          Thank you!  
                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2017 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.
 If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission  please email: [email protected]

​                                   All Rights Reserved
                 Copyright © 2013-2017 Pennie Hunt
         This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.
 If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission  please email: [email protected]

WHO IS YOUR BACKSEAT DRIVER?

Are you letting stories that you repeat over and over again define who you are?  Do you allow them to drive your life?  If you don’t know what I mean read:
WHO IS CHAUFFEURING YOUR LIFE?

Maybe you have your stories under control but have another problem… other PEOPLE who want to (or you allow to) chauffeur your life.  You know, that back seat driver that is always telling you where your life should go at every turn.  As you read that did someone immediately come to mind?  Did you see their face and hear their voice? If so, you know what I am talking about.

Humans need human contact to survive.  People need people.  We need time. We need touch.  We need connection.

What we don’t need is to feel like we are powerless or controlled.  We don’t need to feel like our emotions and happiness are totally dependent on pleasing someone else.  We don’t need to feel like our actions are being controlled by the demands of another person.

I do have a caveat here -- I am not talking about a mutually loving relationship where there is reciprocity of respect, kindness and love.  It is healthy when we give of our self and do acts of love and kindness for others and in return receive feelings of love and self-satisfaction.

I am talking about the sponges that soak up all of our good intentions and acts of kindness without returning any level of thoughtfulness.  Oh, occasionally they may throw a sweet gesture your way, but for the most part, they hold an expectation that you will always be there, always support them and always give, give, give.

We believe the control is created by the other person, but the reality is – WE create the situation by giving away our control.  We allow the back seat driver to steer our life and control our actions.  Let me say that again- WE create the situation by giving away our control.

By doing this we give away our happiness. We cheapen our value by letting others push our buttons. We feel tied like a puppet with no way to cut the strings.  And yet, we are the only ones who can.

It is even possible that the other person is not aware of this situation, but it has been going on for so long that it has become a habit that holds no consequences or responsibility on their side.  After all, they are in the cushy seat, the comfortable place, the receiving end.

We must create boundaries. 
Boundaries around what we will or won’t do. 
Boundaries around our self-inflicted guilt when we believe we are responsible for the other person. 
Boundaries around our hearts as a protection from the invisible force of expectation we feel from the other person. 
And boundaries around our minds that have been trained to create the illusion of obligation to this person.

Isn’t it time to put the brakes on?
If you are always giving family members or friends money to get them back on their feet, but never see them grow up and take control of their own life --Stop writing checks expecting this to change.

If someone is always late, wait an appropriate 10-15 minutes and then leave- they obviously feel their time is more important than yours. Don’t cheapen your value.

If you are the one who tries to make everything perfect for others in hopes of making them happy, but it is never enough-- it probably never will be enough and they will probably never be happy…and while doing this neither will you.

If you are under obligation to continually take care of or give to a person, evaluate if the obligation is real or is it just your perception that you “owe” someone your time and talent.  Evaluate the situation for codependency.  Are you getting something from being a martyr?  Even if you feel like you are being used and taken advantage of, have you become dependent on being needed?

If you are continually trying to stop giving your resources of time, finances, energy and control of your emotions and life to someone else, but only break free for short periods of time. Then you slip back into the old pattern again of one-way giving.  Chart how long you have been doing this pattern. Where has it gotten you?

If you are following a life path because someone told you it was the road you should take, but you hate the scenery, you feel lost, or you know in your heart it isn’t the way you should be going, it is never too late to stop, make a U-turn and let your soul’s GPS recalculate to guide you on YOUR path.  There isn’t time to be controlled by a backseat driver. Be your own navigator on this road of life.
Take control of your own steering wheel.
                  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
    “Take control of your own thoughts,
                      time and talent. 
         Don’t allow a back seat driver to
​                     steer your life.”
                    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

​
YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to think about who is controlling your emotions and actions.  Shouldn't YOU be in control???

Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below .  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                          All Rights Reserved
                                                      Copyright © 2013-2017 Pennie Hunt
                                       This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
                                                             Feel free to forward this post.
                                       Please keep the entire message intact, including
                                            contact, logo, and copyright information.
                 If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission       
                                                 please email: [email protected]

WHO IS CHAUFFEURING YOUR LIFE? 

Our lives are driven by stories.
We travel the road yielding to them as they climb into the back seat.

We turn left, we turn right and choose the forks in the road that we hope will lead us to our happily ever after.
With every turn we pick them up.
A story here.
A story there. 

Some are interesting.  Some are scary.  Some are fun.  Some we want to lock in the trunk and forget. They all merge together to create the book of our life.

Occasionally we are jolted to completely stop at a red light and a story forces its way into the front seat with us. 

Some are powerful and push us out of our driver’s seat and  takes over as the chauffeur of our lives. The story becomes the theme that overshadows all the other stories and events that we experience.

The story becomes who we are.

Every turn we make is because of the story.

Every decision is because of the story.  

For you, this may be a happy chauffeur taking you to just the right places – school, a career, a life partner, children and success.  The chauffeur takes you on the drive you hoped for and the life story you dreamt of.  

Or, the story may be one of grief, desperation, loss, or despair.  The story is sad and takes over your life.  You no longer have control of the wheel.
The story has control and circles you as if you are stuck in a round-a-bout reliving the tragedy over and over.  You feel like you can’t put on the brakes or turn a different direction. 

We all have experienced stories of good and bad; happiness and sadness.  It is up to us to melt our stories into a collective balance for our life.  Don’t allow an event or tragedy to lock you into park or worse-- navigate you to a dark, dead end street. 

Decide who you want to chauffeur your life.  Take control of your stories.
Each one can be told from many perspectives.
Concentrate on the great stories and look for ways to see lessons and grace in your challenging ones.
Keep your steering wheel balanced and driving happily through your life. 

Who is chauffeuring your life?  
                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 Pennie’s Life Lesson:
       “Don’t allow one event or tragedy to                                  drive your life.
    Take control of your own steering wheel.”
             ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to think about the life stories you repeat over and over allowing them to define what your life is and  who you are.  Are they the stories you want to be in control of that?  Hmmmmm...

Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below .  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                          All Rights Reserved
                                                      Copyright © 2013-2017 Pennie Hunt
                                       This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
                                                             Feel free to forward this post.
                                       Please keep the entire message intact, including
                                            contact, logo, and copyright information.
                 If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission       
                                                 please email: [email protected]

The Charlie Hunt
3 Strike Rule
​
My Dad had a rule of giving businesses and people three chances. 

He felt that anyone can have a day when things just don’t go right and shouldn’t be judged on one interaction or experience.  So he would allow three times to get it right. 

He wouldn’t discount a restaurant if he had a bad meal the first time he visited, or complain if a sales clerk didn’t treat him kindly, or judge a person by on misguided choice. 

He would give them a second chance. 

And a third. 

But, if on the third chance they were still inadequate or unkind he would feel confident that he gave them enough of his time to show their potential before he decided they would not be a part of his life.

My Dad passed away in 2005.  Now when I have an unpleasant experience I try to remember the Charlie Hunt 3 Strikes Rule before I immediately form an opinion. 

The second or third pitch just might be a home run!    

Pennie’s Life Lesson:
      "Don't judge on the first experience
                          or the second  
  - the third pitch just might be a home run." 
​
YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to remember that everyone can have a bad day, an off moment, a slip in judgment.  What if you gave them three changes, before you judged them?

Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below .  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                          All Rights Reserved
                                                      Copyright © 2013-2017 Pennie Hunt
                                       This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
                                                             Feel free to forward this post.
                                       Please keep the entire message intact, including
                                            contact, logo, and copyright information.
                 If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission       
                                                 please email: [email protected]
  

FRAME YOUR LIFE

I am not a photographer. At least not like my daughter, the professional photographer who captures the ice cream as it drips off the nose of a two year old or the unpredictable belly laugh of a bride as her new husband kisses her neck.

I look for frames. 

I see the world as frames that will hold my words, my feelings and my emotions.  When I spot a frame I snap it quickly to be used with my writing to illustrate the point I intend to convey.

At times the frames I see create my words; or at least allow my words to come together in a meaningful way to reach the heart of the viewer.  One snapshot may speak of peace and calmness. One photo may paint the canvas for love.  

What if you looked at every moment in your life as a frame?  How would you fill it to create a memory?
Do you want to frame a moment filled with examples of happiness, kindness and love?

Or will you allow your frame to hold moments of being disengaged, angry, sad and confused?  

Many times people drift along believing that life is happening to them and they are helpless in the process.  That is a distorted view.

The control is in your hands.  You direct the focus and what the lens of your life captures.  It is up to you to search out the frames and fill them with the people and experiences YOU want to have.

I am not a photographer, but I fill my frames with meaning, with emotion and with feeling.
How will you fill your frames? 
               ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
 “Frame your world moment by moment, memory by memory to create a masterpiece of love and happiness.”
                 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to think about your life moment by moment and how you 'frame' each one. 

Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below .  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                          All Rights Reserved
                                                      Copyright © 2013-2017 Pennie Hunt
                                       This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
                                                             Feel free to forward this post.
                                       Please keep the entire message intact, including
                                            contact, logo, and copyright information.
                 If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission       
                                                 please email: [email protected]

    IT ALL COUNTS
​

I came back from my walk frustrated. 

     “I forgot to wear my pedometer, so I’m
       not getting credit for my steps!”

My husband heard my grumbling and responded with,
     “It doesn’t have to be counted by a  
       pedometer.  Your body knows and gives
       you credit for it.”

He was right.  Just because a little tech device wasn’t calculating my steps and chiming when I hit 10,000 didn’t mean it didn’t happen. 

It made me think of how this relates in so many ways to our lives. How many times do you tell yourself stories like these…

   ~ If no one sees me eat a donut then the calories don’t count…. Wrong - your body counts them.

   ~ If I am speeding it is ok as long as there isn’t a police officer in site…Wrong – accidents happen when you speed and then the police will arrive.

   ~ I don’t have to show up for school or work today, I will just study and get my project done so it doesn’t matter if I was there…Wrong – It does matter.  Other’s notice if you don’t ‘show up’ for them. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, show up!

   ~ If I think negative thoughts  it’s ok as long as I don’t say them out loud…Wrong – thinking negative thoughts is just as damaging as saying them out loud… all that negative self-talk counts.

   ~ I don’t have to tell someone I love them, they should know.  Wrong again, don’t ever miss an opportunity to tell someone you love them.  Life is precious and brief.  There will come a time when it was your last chance to tell them.
​
   ~I’m busy so I can rush by people and not take the time to acknowledge them, thank them or be kind… Wrong! Showing kindness and gratitude makes a difference.  You put out energy with every action.  By projecting kindness and gratitude you put positive energy out into the world to be felt and mirrored back to you.  What you project you can expect. It all counts!   

Every step we take, every move we make, every word we speak counts – even if no one sees us do it, hears our words or charts our progress. It counts!
 
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
“Every step we take, every move we make, ever word we speak counts – even if no one sees us do it, hears our words or charts our progress. It counts!”
                    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~

 My intent in sharing this with you is to help you understand that everything we do, say and think counts-- even if no one else sees or hears it.  Share your thoughts.  Share your feelings.  Make it PERSONAL! 

YOUR TURN - Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
                   [email protected]. 
                            Thank you!  
                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                    All Rights Reserved
                      Copyright © 2013-2017 Pennie Hunt
            This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
                           Feel free to forward this post.
             Please keep the entire message intact, including
                   contact, logo, and copyright information.
       If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint              permission please email: [email protected]