We have a new friend in our yard. We have never seen him. He comes out at night to play, hunt and make messes. In the morning when we wake up he has created another deep hole and a new mound of fresh dirt on our property. At first I thought it was interesting, but with every new mound of dirt I see the problem getting bigger. My mind imagines the small mounds of dirt layering into a mountain of unmanageable size. I worry that our property will be destroyed.

Worry is a natural human trait. We all have times in our lives when we worry. A little worrying can be a positive motivator. We worry about passing a test, so we study. We worry about doing a presentation at work, so we prepare and make sure our facts are correct. We worry about having enough money to retire so we save and invest money in our nest egg. When our grown children are struggling, or our aging parents are declining we support them in the hope of controlling and alleviating the worry we feel. These are normal life concerns that most of us share and have the power to control. We all worry.

There are times when our worrying takes over our lives. We play the worst possible scenario through our minds repeatedly and with every viewing the outcome is worse. I call this type of worry, Negative Meditation. Normally we meditate to clear our minds to allow space for peace and calm to enter. When we run the film of negative outcomes continually through our minds we are meditating on the negative and filling our minds with fear.

This kind of negative meditation can cause us to catastrophize every event. We exaggerate the situation and visualize the worst outcome. The test we could easily study for to control the result becomes a constant movie in our minds that ends in us failing and dropping out of school. The presentation at work that we could prepare for to feel confident in our ability is replayed in our minds until we believe we will be fired. We worry so much about saving for retirement that we live a life depriving ourselves daily out of fear for the future. And a couple of molehills in my yard grow into a mountain in my mind that cannot be contained.

Our perception of normal difficulties becomes skewed. The smallest of problems become mountains that we see no way to climb. We layer one problem with another and another until we are so overwhelmed that we freeze or explode.

How do we avoid the explosion? Ask these questions:
Can I control the outcome of this problem?
Is this my problem to own?
Am I being realistic about the problem or am I catastrophizing it to be bigger and more difficult than it is?  
 
Many times, we can control the problem we are worried about. We need a plan of action and a strategy to solve it.

Many times, it is not even our problem, yet we take it on as if we need to ‘fix’ everything for everyone. If it is not our problem to own, then let the ownership of the problem and the solution stay with the person it belongs to.

Many times, our imagination and constant negative meditation can increase the size of a problem to an inflated unrealistic level.

Many times, a mound of dirt is just a molehill and not a mountain.
                                              ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:  
                         Don’t let your imagination catastrophize every event.
                                        Sometimes it is just a molehill.
                                                ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

YOUR TURN...        
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                                      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                         All Rights Reserved
                                          Copyright © 2013-2022 Pennie Hunt
                             This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information. ​

It was the third cemetery I had walked through in less than 24 hours. While visiting the state where my grandparents lived, the passing of time lead me to where snapshots of my childhood were now tucked within the granite speckled grass.

My mind flash-danced through memories as I walked.

The laughter of my handsome uncle who I was certain I would grow up to marry until he passed away as a result of a truck accident.

My aunt’s impish smile and her black cat-eyed glasses that were popular in the 60’s. She brought a new word into my vocabulary and world – Cancer.

My grandmother whose kind, gentle hands taught me how to paint, decorate cakes and see the magical, spiritual side of life- and death.

My cousin, one year older than me, that shared my memories of homemade ice cream on our grandparent’s porch and reminded us all that life can end with one attack to the heart.

The man I called Grandad. It was a name that fit. He was tall, gentle, quiet and grand in the way he blended strength and kindness. My dad was 4 when Grandad came into his life and took over the role his dad had left vacant. 

Now, on my third stop, I searched for a name that held no memories for me. No snapshots of the past. I searched for the man who passed away from tuberculosis when my dad was 9 months old. 

​Up and down the grass I walked. Then in the area marked by a crumbling post that once read, Section 3, I found a simple flat stone.
        Loren Franklin Hunt
              1904-1931
I am not sure what I thought I would feel or learn from this discovery. I am not sure if I expected a connection of heart or spirit. I was sure that I needed to, in some way, meet the man I never knew- yet without him fathering my dad I wouldn’t be here. I needed to feel the same love and respect for him as I did all the others I had visited in the grass that day.

I stood a long time to study his name. I wondered what his laugh sounded like; what his smile was like; what his hands felt like as he held my newborn Dad; and I wondered if he was as grand in his strength and kindness as the man who stepped into his shoes.
Life repeats in serendipitous ways. When my son passed away, also at a young age, he too left a 9-month-old child, my granddaughter.

As I stood there, I realized why I had been driven to find the marker of a man I never knew.
It was for him.
It was for my dad.
It was for me.
It was for my son.
It was for my granddaughter.
I closed my eyes and sent a wish of hope that someday someone will share love and respect for his life and the generations that followed him. I closed my eyes and sent a wish of hope that someday someone will care enough to search in the same way I did for the name of a man they never knew.

Pennie’s Life Lesson:
                             “Love doesn’t stop when you leave this life. 
                             Send gratitude to all who came before you.” ​

YOUR TURN...        
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                                      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                         All Rights Reserved
                                          Copyright © 2013-2022 Pennie Hunt
                             This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information. ​

YOUR TURN...        
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                                      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                         All Rights Reserved
                                          Copyright © 2013-2022 Pennie Hunt
                             This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information. ​

We are all on a search for "Emotional Benefits." We freely give "I love you's" with the expectation that we will receive an “I love you” in return.
 
Everything we do, say, act on or experience is with the expectation of making us feel good, feel happy, feel important or feel loved.
 
Our need to connect and belong is a driver in life.
Emotional benefit is attached.
 
Why do you think our world is so dependent on the buzzing of our cell phones? Because with every vibrational tweet, every chiming phone call, every new friend request on Facebook, and every follow on Instagram or TikTok we feel loved, needed, and wanted. We act with our heart and grab the phone!
Emotional benefit is attached.
 
Unfortunately, we do very little in life without the expectation of reciprocity. We have learned this mutual give and take expectation throughout our life. If I pick you for the volleyball team, I expect you will pick me next time. If I invite you to lunch, I expect you to invite me to lunch. If I ‘friend’ you on Facebook, I expect you to ‘friend’ me. If I tell you I love you, I expect you to tell me you love me. We expect this mutual exchange.
Emotional benefit is attached.
 
Imagine if we took the expectation out of the equation. Imagine if we friended, liked and loved just for the joy of friending, liking and loving.
 
Imagine joyfully giving without the expectation of an obligatory comparable response.
 
I believe the real law of reciprocity should be based on our intent.
If your intent is - I will do this in order to receive that in return, then you are living your life in a self-centered way.
 
If your intent is - I will do this with no expectation of return, then you are living your life in an other-centered way. You are making more deposits in the bank of emotional benefits than you expect to withdraw.
 
Then the magic happens. By changing the expectation of reciprocity, the Emotional Benefit we give to others will increase. The conditions of the game will be removed. Your own Emotional Benefit account will begin to overflow.
 
It will become clear that by acting with our hearts in an other-centered way the search for our own Emotional Benefits will begin and end with making others feel good, happy, important and loved.
 
Pennie's Life Lesson: Unconditionally give and love for the joy of giving and loving.

YOUR TURN...        
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below.  And please feel free to email me  at:
 [email protected]. 
                                                Thank you!  ​
                                      ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                                         All Rights Reserved
                                          Copyright © 2013-2022 Pennie Hunt
                             This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information. ​