Are you part of a group, a team, a school, a club, a crew, a family, a religion, or a community?
Of course you are. Humans have a need for connection. We fear isolation. We want to be included and belong.
We mirror the actions of others to gain acceptance and approval. As a teenager, you may have tasted your first beer at a party. You hated it, but kept sipping until the taste was tolerable. You felt like you were one of the cool kids. You felt like you belonged.
We shift our shape and adapt our actions to match who we need to be in the moment we are in. One moment we are a parent. At work, we are employees and bosses. With friends, we are confidants and counselors. With a date we may try to be who the other person wants us to be. We go to a concert and become kids again. Even as an adult when we are around our parents we may act differently- conceding and needing approval.
A different version of who we are exists in the minds of everyone who knows us. Our minds work hard to determine who we need to be and who they need us to be. Their minds work hard to decide if we are who they want us to be.
The need to belong is an instinct. It can push us to act in ways that feel uncomfortable. When we bend and mold ourselves to be a contorted version of who we are, we don’t recognize our own reflection in the mirror. This continual shape-shifting is exhausting - and can become a problem.
We are not paper dolls cut from flat, one-dimensional paper. We all have different roles in life and different flavors of our personalities. Many times we hide areas of who we are because we are afraid to share our entire selves. We disguise parts of our personalities that we fear will hinder our belonging and inclusion with others.
What if we blended the parts of who we are into a big, bold, beautiful collage that reveals all of who we are? What if we could be ourselves? Our crazy, goofy, wild, authentic selves all the time? Inherently, we understand that we need to be rational and in control of our actions. We can’t be a constant disruption or nuisance and expect to be respected, liked, or welcomed. But we can bring all of those flavors of our personalities with us wherever we go.
Henry David Thoreau said, “It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.”
What if we looked at each not with our eyes, but with our hearts and accepted the entire package of each other’s personality… flaws, quirks, and all?
Begin using your heart to look at your family, friends, and coworkers. Look deep into their hearts. You may begin to see the layers of their personalities that they have kept hidden – afraid to share. You may see the fun-loving side. The joyful side. The layer of pain they have experienced that holds them back from being the shining light they could be.
When you allow your heart to see their hearts you come to realize we are not all that different. We have different talents, experiences, and thoughts, but we all want to be seen, connected, and belong.
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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
When you allow yourself to be the authentic person you really are,
you will attract the people you are meant to be with.
You will belong.
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#CornerofSpiritandBrave #loveyourlifenomatterwhat #journeythrough #PennieHunt #YouAreGoodEnough
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There is a certain magic about where I live both physically and spiritually – on the crossroads of Spirit and Brave.
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