I am feeling drained and guilty.
Drained because my body feels weak, my mind feels overwhelmed, and my motivation is missing in action. I have tried 20 times this week to write something encouraging, something witty, something optimistic to share with you. Each time I gazed at a blank screen.
It is not like I have been running marathons or overworking my mind. I feel guilty because I am not accomplishing or producing. I feel guilty because I have no logical reason to be in this state.
But you know what... it is OK.
And then I realized.... This is exactly what I should write about. If it is happening to me, it is probably happening to others.
I believe we are so bombarded with news reports, numbers, and negativity that we are overwhelmed physically and emotionally. Throughout this roller coaster, I think we have all had ups and downs. Bursts of energy and slumps of sadness. All. Of. Us. Even me- the happiness lady.
And it is OK.
Several months ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about aging. She made a comment that went something like this - you sit in a chair because you don’t want to do anything, then you don’t do anything, then you can’t do anything.
It was one of those comments that stuck in my mind following me through my days and my dreams. I realized this morning that it isn’t just about aging. It can happen at any age.
Then I recognized the answer to my quandary. When we let circumstances that are out of our control take over our lives, we allow the things we can control to fall apart.
There is so much going on now that we can’t control. If we allow this to be our every thought, our every conversation, and our every breath we will immobilize ourselves. We become emotionally and physically exhausted and overwhelmed. All we want to do is sit in a chair. We don’t want to do anything, so we don’t do anything. If we do nothing long enough- we can’t do anything.
Atrophy sets in. This is not just a problem of the aging body. Atrophy can attack the body, mind, emotions, and motivation at any age. Looking at myself objectively, this is exactly what has been happening to me.
My days have been slipping away as if the sun comes up and immediately goes down with nothing much of substance in between. My days are lost in a blur of showering, getting dressed, and getting ready for bed. I don’t want to do anything. So, I don’t.
This revelation frightened me because I know what comes next. If I don’t change my pattern soon, I move to the last step - I can’t do anything.
This has been a wake-up call for me. I may not be able to control what is happening in the world or outside my home, but I can control what is happening in my mind and body.
I know what works for me- meditation; limiting my intake of news to enough to be informed and educated, but not saturated with overwhelm and negativity; exercise; eating healthy; connecting with people; sunshine and fresh air; loving my dogs... and so much more.
I know that doing these things will get my mind and body moving. The outside world will shift to a perspective that I control. My inside mind and emotions will shift into a place where I want to do things, so I do things, and I CAN do things.
I may still have an occasional lost day, but now I know the antidote.
And, it is OK.
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Pennie's Life Lesson:
“When we let circumstances that are out of our control
take over our lives,
we allow the things we can control to fall apart.”
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IT IS OK!
My intent in sharing this with you is to share how I am feeling and help you understand that how ever we feel is ok.
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
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