Are you green with envy? Do you begin stewing over why someone else has advantages that you don’t? Do you tally up other people’s achievements, abilities, or possessions and compare them to yours?
Does an emotional rivalry push you to a deep and disturbing point of raw jealousy because someone else has a friendship or romantic attachment that you wish you had… or that you fear losing?
Your coworker has the job you want, just because they carry around a big heavy master’s degree that you don’t have. Your neighbor has the car you want, and his house is remodeled in a way you would love yours to be – not to mention how green his yard is. You are the bridesmaid for the 4th time wondering why others get the perfect man when you haven’t met a prince yet. Your best friend stopped calling and then you see on social media that she is out having fun with others and not you.
All these scenarios feed an unhealthy green monster that, left unchecked, can take over your thoughts and common sense. I have a solution for you.
The next time you feel your mind and heart heating up from that green monster, step back and look at the big picture. Tell yourself if you are envious of one thing a person has, for example their job, and wish you had it, then you must wish for everything else in their life. Maybe they have a great job, but their health is poor. If you wish you had that great job, tell yourself that poor health comes with it. If you are jealous of a relationship your friend has with her husband, tell yourself, then you must wish for everything to be like theirs. Maybe they have a great relationship, but they hate their jobs or they struggle financially.
You see, no one has a perfect life. I am known as the “Happiness Lady,” but that doesn’t mean my life is perfect. If you envy Pennie Hunt’s happy life and wish you had it, you will have to learn how to work at being happy. When you look at the big picture would you want my entire life, negative experiences and all? You would need to adapt to everything in my life- living through a divorce, dealing with the traumatic car collision I was in, and waking up every morning with the realization that my child passed away. No one has a life free of struggles.
You will always be able to find someone who has more, is more successful, and does more than you. You will always be able to find someone who has less, is less successful, and does less than you. The comparison game is what causes envy and jealousy. We compare our situation to the good fortune of others. We see the tragedy in our life as unfair. The reality is, we all have tragedy in some form. Stop feeding the green monster by comparing your life situation to others.
The antidote for envy and jealousy is gratitude. Stop looking at what you don’t have and look at what you do have. Until you are grateful for what you do have you will never have more.
Your problems won’t magically disappear, and a new car won’t miraculously appear in your driveway, but by counting your blessings your mind will be in a positive place of gratitude instead of the negative space of envy and jealousy.
Pennie’s Life Lesson: Until you are grateful for what you do have you will never have more.
Pennie Heart to Heart
STOP FEEDING THE GREEN MONSTER
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There is a certain magic about where I live both physically and spiritually – on the crossroads of Spirit and Brave.
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