THE LOST DAY

THE LOST DAY

I lost my day.
It began in the normal way.
Alarm.
Glass of water.
Cup of coffee.
Work out.
​Shower. 
Then... I lost it.
 
My day became an endless loop of wondering what I should do.  Not wanting to do anything.  Feeling disappointed in myself that I wasn’t accomplishing, achieving or making an impact, I walked from window to window looking out at the world feeling lost.  I didn’t have a plan for the day.  I was uneasy.  Restless.  Uncertain. And then, it was over.
I lost my day.

Now, holding a brand new day in my grasp and enjoying all that comes with it I look back on that day and realize I occasionally experience what I call A Lost Day.
A day lost in time that I wasted.  I’m not talking about a day spent reading or relaxing, which I find necessary to rejuvenate both mind and soul and is far from wasted.  A Lost Day is spent spinning and twirling in indecision.  Not being able to focus on a desire.

In my self-analyzation I uncovered this…
I was raised in a military family where it was ingrained in my DNA to work hard, accomplish and achieve. I often times find myself at the end of a day spewing a list of "completion".  From laundry to writing I do a mental review of what I did to add value during the day. Could it be possible if I don’t “do” I must not be of value?

Our minds are funny little puzzles consisting of pieces created at birth with more picked up as we journey through life. We maneuver the unchangeable ones to create a frame.  All other misshaped pieces are turned and tried until they fit together to create the picture of our lives.
Over time we may crinkle and bend a piece or two and might even lose one, but the frame remains the landing pad.  The secret code of our belief system’s DNA.

Here is the thing… although I was raised with the core value of hard work and accomplishment I was never taught that without doing that I was not of value.  That became one of the internal puzzle pieces that my mind created and connected to another piece as I built my life.  So of course when I have a day of spinning in indecision I feel useless and wasteful.  I experience the frustration of a Lost Day. 

The next time I experience a Lost Day I will at least understand what is happening.  I will try to lean into it with the knowing of why and the understanding of my emotions. 
 
As I write this, I sit in self-satisfaction for solving the puzzle.  Finding the piece that skews my life picture.
Today I accomplished!
I achieved!
I made an impact – if only on my own life.
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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
“Pay attention to the puzzle pieces that create the picture of your life. Don’t force pieces to fit that don’t belong.”
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YOUR TURN...         
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to think about the puzzle pieces you have allowed into the frame of your life.  How have you included negative, unhealthy ones to guide your feelings and emotions?  
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below .
 And please feel free to email me  at:
 PennieHunt@gmail.com. 
                                                Thank you!  
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