With several speaking engagements ahead of me, blogs to write and my self-imposed deadline for the completion of my book, I felt like the toilet had just overflowed.
You know, that panicked feeling of running to get the plunger as the water overflows and every towel you own is being thrown on the floor in an effort to control.
The smell of not feeling Good Enough was quickly rising to the top of my bowl. How would I ever get it all done?
So I did the logical thing - I turned the valve to off.
I stopped the gushing stream that overflowed my mind and walked away from all the fear, pressure and commitments.
I went outside and dug holes.
I put my hands in the black dirt. I dug holes for tomato plants. I dug holes for bushes. I dug holes for geraniums and marigolds. I layered each hole with peat moss, potting soil and vermiculite and then gently placed plants inside carefully pushing the earth around the roots and up to the stems. My body eased and relaxed as I enjoyed the process of nurturing.
My mind did nothing except watch the movement of my hands. It had emptied to a space of quiet silence with no worries of deadlines or commitments. The valve remained OFF.
Suddenly it became very clear to me how easy it would be to complete all of my obligations. I had just been “Layering” myself in a dangerous way.
Instead of layering myself with the joy of what I was doing in the same loving way I layered the soil around the plants, I had been layering myself in a negative way... I wasn’t being gentle, careful or kind.
I was being self-demanding to the point of overwhelm. No wonder I felt blocked like the water was flooding over. In the process, instead of allowing my roots to stretch in the delightful enjoyment of these life opportunities I had tightened myself into a root bound knot with two options.
I could either continue to squeeze the grip around myself forever running in an effort to control
I could clear my mind, do nothing and allow myself the time to relax into the joy of life.
Meditation comes in many forms.
Today it arrived while my hands were in the dirt and I realized that when you allow your mind the space to do nothing - it becomes easier to do everything.
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