What I Have Learned About Selective Gratitude by Pennie Hunt

Gratitude would land on a list of the most used words today. I don’t think we can go through a day without using it, reading it, or hearing it.

I am a huge believer in gratitude. I teach gratitude techniques and promote gratitude as a happiness builder. I believe people are trying to be more grateful and incorporate the practice of gratitude into their lives.

Gratitude journals and gratitude lists have become common in our daily routines. But I have one question… Do you practice selective gratitude?

It is easy to be grateful when all is right with our world, when everything is going our way, and when others are acting the way we want them to. Is your gratitude conditional on your expectations of how life should be? Selective gratitude is contingent on our criteria and judgment of how closely life mirrors our expectations of what we deserve and want.

Pain occurs when life doesn’t meet our expectations. It is hard to be grateful when we are in pain. It is much easier to allow anger and fear to block our gratitude and hide our blessings during hard times. All blessings do not bless the same way. No matter what happens there are good things about every situation. There is always something that we can be grateful for.

There may be a delay in seeing the blessing, but eventually, we will begin to feel glimmers of gratitude. In school, we had to take a test before we received an A. Sometimes testing comes before appreciation. At times we struggle before we are given the ability to see the lesson and the blessing.

During those difficult times, our selective gratitude tries to take over. We begin evaluating things by our criteria and judgment. We begin listening to our selective thoughts. Thoughts are real to us when we are thinking them, but are they true? We think it is a real thought, but is it true and possible?  Or is it our imagined perfection of how people should act, and life should be? Our imagination is good at overwhelming us into believing nothing bad will happen and the expectation that life is perfect. When it doesn’t work out that way, anger and fear jump in to smoother our gratitude.

Concentrate on what is right in your life, not what is wrong. What you are grateful for, not what you didn’t get or don’t have. Even if you failed at something you can be grateful that you tried. Be grateful when you (or someone else) make a mistake, because when mistakes happen- lessons are learned. Be grateful for the test, for the struggle, and for the learning. If a tragedy happens in your life, you can be grateful for the love of your friends and family and the way they came together to comfort you. The smallest things in life make a difference. Even if you are in grief and despair be grateful for the small things. It is all in the power of perspective.

Gratitude is not complicated. Don’t allow your gratitude to be contingent on the way others act or the ups and downs of life. What you practice, you grow in. If you practice anger and fear, you grow in anger and fear. If you practice love, forgiveness, and kindness, you will grow in those and yes, if you practice gratitude, you will grow in gratitude.
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There is an energy exchange in life. If you push gratitude out into the world, it will be returned to you. No Contingency, no conditions… just pure, powerful gratitude.  
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                                                           Pennie’s Life Lesson:
                                      Do not make gratitude a selective process.
                                              Make it an unconditional practice. 
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​YOUR TURN...        
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