The Corner of Spirit & Brave

WHAT IS YOUR PERCEPTION OF PERFECTION? By Pennie Hunt

1/7/2022

Recently it was pointed out to me that I am not 28 anymore. This message came in two ways. One from my body as I bent over during a Yoga pose and thought to myself, “Whose knees are those?”

Later, as I was questioning out loud how my knees have changed, a friend pointed out that my age number no longer begins with a 2.

When did that happen? For that matter, how did I rush through 3, 4, and 5? My friend’s point was, why would I expect to have 28-year-old knees when I wasn’t 28 anymore. She added that I should stop being critical and accept myself and my body for the beauty it holds, even if my number now begins with a 5…ok 6.

Whoa! That set off some major pondering in my head. Accept myself? Accept myself?

The first thing I had to do was contemplate what my perception of me at this age and space in my life should be. What was I willing to accept?

I will admit to being someone who over the years has had a difficult time with the perception of perfection. I have been the overachiever who wanted to be perfect.

The perfect daughter.
The perfect mom.
The perfect wife.
The perfect friend.

All my life I have held a perception of what my perfect weight should be, what I should and shouldn't eat, how much I should work out, what I should be doing for others… the list could go on and on.

Take a minute and visualize the Perception of Perfection you hold for yourself.

Do you have it? If you are like me it is an over-exaggerated, unattainable Perception of Perfection fueled by our own self-talk and the world we live in. The media tells us minute-by-minute how we should look, dress, and feel. We buy into this and continually believe we are not good enough. Is this realistic?

My pondering has brought me to a place of honesty with myself. I have eased up on my expectation of being the perfect anything. What I have come to realize is that we are who we are and that is enough and in our own way we are all perfect. Does that mean we can’t improve? No. Life is a continuum of self-improvement. The lessons we learn in the process is the reason we are in this life. It is the continual self-doubt, self-criticism, and self-shaming that sets us up for failure and unhappiness.
My new mantra is this: Pennie’s Perception of Perfection = Honesty, Health, and Happiness. I may not be the same size I was and have the stamina I had at 28, but I look and feel pretty good. I am healthy and I love my life. And guess what? My age number does start with 5… ok, 6 (dang it) and those are my knees.
Now take out your paper and pen and write the Perception of Perfection that fits you.

Pennie's Life Lesson:
“Our personal Perception of Perfection should be based on Honesty, Health, and Happiness.

YOUR TURN...
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
[email protected].
Thank you!
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1 Comment

Bob

1/10/2022 11:56:46 am

As someone who's number also begins with "6," I can fully appreciate the question about my body not functioning or appearing as it did before. I also appreciate the personal objective to achieve perfection. I don't know that I embraced it as a "perception of perfection," however. Being a first born, I have been told that I was more likely to be an achiever, which appears to be mostly true. On the other hand, achievement has not been an end goal for me as much as benchmarks along the way. I had no personal aspiration to be the perfect student, assuming that this would mean I would be first in my class in high school, college and eventually law school. I understood the concept of being the best I could be, which was my mother's influence and nurturing. I think that there often is a false assumption of perfection. It certainly varies from individual to individual. It also seems to depend on the subject.

Perhaps we have conditioned ourselves to believe that if we do what is "perfect," everything will be good, if not more, or that we will somehow be rewarded. It obviously begs the question of "perfection" by whose standards? For the wife and mother who busted her "you know what" to be everything to everyone, often at great self-sacrifice, who learns that her husband has been intimately involved with another woman, perhaps more perfect, with whom he wishes to be, she may have believed she was being the perfect wife and mother. And in all likelihood, in fact was by the standards of many. It also suggests that at different times, perfection may change at different stages of our lives. What I might consider as meeting perfection at one time in my life, for example, professionally, may be different now. In fact, I am almost certain that I would be horrified at some of my attorney work product when I first began working as a lawyer (even those times I might have thought myself a genius), to now. Regarding the latter, I am always looking for improvement and how I can be better in the future. Possibly a sign of maturity that I will never have all the answers, although my experiences and knowledge base may be well suited for a task I face. At the same time, I recognize my value and sometimes my limitations. As to my body aging, I have known for a long time that this was inevitable. Sadly, some people seem to age faster than others.

I obviously share a kindred realization of acceptance and improvement, including self-improvement. Another concept I strive for is "balance." Somehow this should be in the mix. Being part Japanese, balance -- or to strive to achieve balance -- was something also passed on to me by my mother. Like perfection, balance is an ever seeking endeavor. Do we achieve true balance? Can we ever expect to obtain perfection -- real perfection in almost an absolute sense? It seems that since the objectives are beneficial, if not laudable, there will always be the pursuit by whatever energy may motivate us. Sometimes high, sometimes not. Always steady.

My Japanese mother, who had been disowned by her family for marrying my American father, eventually was able to return "home" -- if only for a visit after 30 or so years. When she returned, she had a Japanese calligraphy scroll. I might have asked what it meant, but later (after she passed) inquired about it with a long-time Japanese girlfriend. She told me that the character was the Japanese word “mu” (written in kanji as 無), which essentially means “nothing.” Literally, nothingness. It sees no past, nor the future. There is only the now. Contrasted to having a short memory, it is almost a state of consciousness in which one is not influenced by anything that came before. How can that be? It also does not anticipate what one hopes or believes should or will come. It is being able to react and live in the moment. Our rational minds will be challenged by these concepts. Just as they will be with perfection and balance. Pennie, life is indeed a continuum. Maybe perfection, balance and "mu" all represent the same thing, as you suggest -- of self-improvement. Life is meant to be lived with all its imperfection, lack of balance and constant barrages causing us anxiety or depression. We find ways to wake up each morning and put one foot in front of another.

WHAT IS YOUR PERCEPTION OF PERFECTION? By Pennie Hunt

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