The Corner of Spirit & Brave

THIS IS WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE… TODAY By Pennie Hunt

7/6/2025

What does love look like to you today?

Love can look different every day. It looks different on the good days and the bad. During the hard stuff and the easy moments. Love shows up in many forms and dances with different rhythms depending on the love that is required.

When I was around 5 or 6, I received a Chatty Cathy doll for Christmas. I wanted that doll so badly. I talked about it all the time. I circled it in the JCPenney’s Christmas Catalog. I dreamt of it. When I opened my gift, I was the happiest I thought I could ever be in life. On that day, I believed love looked like a Chatty Cathy doll.

I remember when my babies were born. Holding them for the first time, I counted their toes as they wrapped their tiny hands around my finger and held on tightly. They somehow knew that I would protect them, care for them, and love them. Those days of birthing my children were the most love-filled days of my life. Love can look different every day, but on those days, love looked like a white blanket cocooned around a squeaky baby.

One of my favorite photographs from my wedding was a close-up of my husband’s hand holding mine as we said our vows. He was promising to hold my hand through anything that came into our lives, good or bad – he would be there. Love can look different every day, but on that day, it looked like his hand holding mine.

In the years before my mother passed, when I visited her, she would smile like my visit was the best thing in her life. And when I left, she would smile through her tears. Love can look different every day, but on those days, it looked like my mom’s smile.

Love has been disguised during some of the most difficult days of my life. During those days, I had to remind myself that this is what love looks like today. Love looked like massaging my dad’s feet, helping him walk, and caring for him as he was dying. Love looked like my friends holding me up when I couldn’t breathe after my son passed. Love looked like bringing home a black and white puppy, loving her for 16 years, and holding her so she wasn’t alone when we said goodbye.

On the days it showed itself as wide-open full-throttle joy, love looked like celebrating weddings, welcoming grandchildren, and laughter around a holiday table. And love can look simple, like a phone call from a grandchild, happy dancing paws on the floor when I come home, a card I receive from a friend just to say hi, or my husband’s hand still holding mine.

Over the years, love has danced around me and looked different depending on the day, the circumstance, and the need.
Today, love looks like my life.
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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Remember, love looks different every day, but today, this is what love looks like.
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TURN YOUR BUCKET UPSIDE DOWN AND FILL YOUR BLESSING BASKET by Pennie Hunt

6/29/2025

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Have you heard the term “Bucket List” to the point of pressure? Does it make you feel like you must work hard to always have a list of things you want to do? Are you tired of trying to keep that bucket full of ideas, hopes, and dreams? If you don’t have a running list of things to check off and post photos of on social media, you may feel like you aren’t living your life correctly.

Is it time to turn your bucket upside down and stop the pressure?

What if you began filling a basket full of your blessings? Fill a basket with all the blessings you already have and all the experiences you have already enjoyed.

Begin a list. Write down things as they come to mind- this could take a while. It should be a perpetual life list that is never completed, because memories will continue to come to you. Add things from your childhood, teen years, and current age. Let it flow and brainstorm everything you can think of. Did I mention this could take a while – days, or weeks, and hopefully you will continue adding to it throughout your life.

My list would begin, of course, with birthing babies, the joy of loving the people I love, and the happiness of having grandchildren. I would add the places I have traveled to and lived in, the people I have met, and the friendships I have enjoyed.

I would include the different jobs and career areas I have worked in. I have been everything from a babysitter to a cake decorator, librarian, banker, speaker, author, and columnist.

Don’t forget to add the fun you have had and any unusual experiences. I will never forget the experiences of walking on fire and swimming with dolphins in the ocean.

After thinking about this for several days, my list is getting longer and longer. I am sure yours will too. The more I add to it, I wonder why we would put so much emphasis on a bucket full of things we haven’t done yet, and feeling guilty for not making them happen, when we can fill a lovely basket of beautiful memories.

We are all occasionally sad or disappointed that we haven’t accomplished something. When you begin to feel sorry for yourself, ask yourself what is good about your life and the situation you are in right now. Add it to your list. Fill your basket with all the memories of experiences and accomplishments you have completed. It is hard to feel down when your list of blessings keeps adding up!

When you carry this basket of blessings with you, your life will look and feel very different. If you work diligently on the list, your basket will be overflowing with love and lovely memories. You will think of small, simple things you haven’t thought of in years, and the big, glorious memories that are probably photographs on your walls. You will live in a place of gratitude. It is gratitude not pressure that fills our heart and nourishes our lives.

When you live to be 100 (I hope you do), you will not regret dumping the pressure-filled bucket list. You will be too busy feeling lucky that you experienced all the joy, happiness, and love in the memory basket of blessings that tells the story of your life.
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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
“It is hard to feel down when your list of blessings keeps adding up!”
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ONE MOMENT CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING by Pennie Hunt

6/22/2025

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Gracie wearing one of her coats

As I type this, I am sitting in my home office with the door closed, the lights dimmed, relaxation music playing, and the shutters tightly closed to keep out any glimpse of the rain and hail outside. This is the routine every time it storms.

My 9-year-old shih tzu, Gracie, is petrified of storms. I am certain she feels the vibration of thunder and rain long before the sky darkens above our home. She shakes. She pants. She tries to hide. Every time this begins, I take my two dogs into the safety zone. My secluded office.

Her stress is due to a thunderclap that happened years ago. We were on the deck when the sky became filled with storm clouds. I was carrying Gracie through the door to go inside just as the loudest thunderclap I have ever heard shook our world.

That was all it took. Since that moment, Gracie has struggled with PTSD. Rain, hail, wind, fireworks, or any sudden noise causes her great distress. Even a gray, cloudy day worries her.

I understand. I was in a severe car crash years ago. I continue to struggle with traffic, the smell of hot asphalt, and seeing fire trucks and ambulances.

Our brains are interesting. One moment in time can change how our minds process. Gracie had sat with me on the deck many times, watching it rain, and was never bothered by the thunder. That one crazy moment changed everything. Now, every warning signal in her brain alerts her to be afraid when the clouds roll in.

I was never bothered by driving in or being a passenger in traffic before my accident. That one mistake by the driver who hit me changed everything. Now, traffic sets off my warning signals of fear and anxiety.

What moment in time changed you, and how your mind processes?

It could have been a joyful moment. The second you become a parent, your world changes. The way you look at life changes. You become more protective and careful. Your priorities change. You create systems to create a life that encompasses your child.

For Gracie, it is the same. She has created a system for storms. She begins pacing and panting. She shakes. She has a variety of coats that act like her thunder coat. A cloak of protection that holds her tight and comforts her. The seclusion of my office is her safe spot.

Over the years, we have tried medication that didn’t help. Talking calmly to her, telling her it’s okay, putting her coat on quickly, and joining her in my office helps, but her mind will always negatively process storms.

Our brains have wrinkles and folds that create a complex path of cognitive functions like learning, reasoning, and yes, memory. The thunder for Gracie and the accident for me have lodged in one of our wrinkles. I doubt either of us will forget the memory. The best we can do is stick to our systems of coping and also try to fill every wrinkle and fold of our brains with more happy memories than frightening ones.

Our minds can grasp onto fear and painful memories, but there is also room for comfort, healing, and joy. We can recognize the scars, honor the triggers, and gently create safe spaces and systems for the negative, harmful moments. One bad or good moment can change everything. Make an effort to fill your life with as many peaceful, loving, happy moments as possible.
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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
One moment can change everything - how we think, feel, and respond.
Try to find more positive moments of change than negative moments of fear.
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Love Feels Like Support, Smells Like Old Spice, and Looks Like My Dad by Pennie Hunt

6/15/2025

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I had chicken pox in 4th grade. When I showed my mom my itchy red bumps, she told me it was just a rash and to get ready for school.

As the day progressed, so did my itching. My teacher noticed my scratching and asked me what was wrong. One look at the red spots and she sent me to the nurse’s office, who immediately called my mom to come and pick me up.

Yes, I had successfully exposed my class and the entire school to chicken pox.
I remember the next few days, my mom went to work, and Dad stayed home with me. He tinkered in his shop, coming in occasionally to check on me as I lay on the couch, vacillating between sleeping, scratching, and drinking juice. He wanted to make sure I was ok.

Being a military man, my dad set the tone for a structured home life. As a child, there wasn't much sleeping in on weekends or hours spent in front of the TV watching cartoons. Our family got out of bed and started our chores.

When it was time for fun, we had fun. We loved weekends at the lake. My dad built a wooden box that he perched on top of our Pontiac station wagon. It was filled with a tent, sleeping bags, and cooking supplies. I thought the box looked like a Halloween coffin and driving down the road I am sure we looked like a cross between a Chevy Chase movie and the Beverly Hillbillies. But our family of five, fishing poles, a few hot dogs, mom’s potato salad, and always a dog or two equaled fun!

As time went on and I had children of my own, I never lived far from my dad. He would occasionally stop at my house to have a cup of coffee, check on my little family, plan fishing trips with my kids, and make sure I was ok.

Many years later after I found myself divorced and living alone far away from my dad, he would occasionally call to check on me. It was through these check-ins that he talked me through lighting a water heater, diagnosed what was causing a noise in my car, and made sure I was ok.

During this time, I decided to go to school and get a college degree. Dad came to my graduation. To me, he was still young, but it was that day that I noticed him walking a little slower and looking older and frail.

That was the beginning of the end of his life.

In his last year, I made as many trips as I could to help my mom care for him. In between visits, I occasionally called to check on him. We talked about jazz music, if I was keeping up with my maintenance chores for my car and water heater, and what I was doing for fun. I wanted to know if he was ok.

It has been 20 years since I held my dad’s hand and said goodbye to him as he passed. But he still stops by occasionally to check on me. Some days, I smell his Old Spice Cologne, I hear him talk to me, or I feel him guiding me through a project or problem.

And sometimes I listen to the recording I saved from his answering machine - you know, just to occasionally check in on him and make sure we are both ok.

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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Love is felt through consistent, caring support.
Sometimes it just shows up, checks in, and makes sure you’re ok.
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NOT YET, BUT IT’S ON MY LIST by Pennie Hunt

6/8/2025

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I am a list maker. I make lists for everything. I have a list of things I need to do before I leave on vacation. A continual running list for grocery shopping. A list of gifts I have purchased for future birthdays and holidays. A list of writing idea prompts. I even have a list of when my dogs need shots and veterinary visits. I could go on, but I bet you see the picture.

I also have a mental list that is always talking to me. It is a list of things I want to do. You may call it a bucket list. I’m not excited about labeling it, but my mind never lets me forget it. Some items are things I need to get done that bug me, like cleaning out the junk drawer or pulling weeds along my driveway. But mostly they are life things I want to do. When I accomplish them, they stick in my mind as important memories.

I always wanted to see the fall colors of New England. It is something my mom wanted to do, but never crossed off her list. That may be why I wanted to go so badly. A few years ago, when I finally had that experience, it became a vivid memory in my mind. Today, I can describe every hue and flavorful color of each leaf and tree I saw.

Up until then, when I was asked if I had ever been to New England in the fall, I would say,
“Not yet, but it’s on my list.”

My husband and I talked about visiting Italy for years. When we took that trip, it again embedded a deep memory. I can tell you about the sway of the gondola as we floated in a small canal in Venice and watched families eating dinner in their homes as we passed by.

Before that trip, when someone asked if we had ever taken that trip to Italy, I would respond,
“Not yet, but it’s on my list.”

Maybe that should be the name of my list - Not yet, but…
I could share with you what the current items are on my Not yet, but… list, but I would much rather spur you to ponder what is on yours. I imagine it wouldn’t take much thought for you to come up with a half dozen or more items that you have on that list.

Once you think of them, it is time to get busy. Prioritize the ones that are the most important. Don’t think about the cost, logistics, or all the excuses why you can’t make them a reality. Instead, concentrate on why they are meaningful to you. Why have you carried them around yearning for the experience?

Once you have prioritized them by importance and meaning, then ask yourself why you haven’t made it happen. Take the first one on the list and begin planning what you need to do to make it a reality. What is the first step you need to take? And the second step, and so on.

You control the outcome of all the items filed under - Not yet, but it’s on my list. Begin doing them and creating vivid, colorful memories of having the experience.

This might be the most important list you have. The one that can’t wait. It is time to get busy making the things you want to do in life happen. There is no better time than now to cross them off the list.
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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Stop saying, Not yet, but it's on my list.
Start crossing things off the list.
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YOUR TURN...
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
[email protected].
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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Is It Time for a New Suitcase? By Pennie Hunt

6/1/2025

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Recently, I bought a new suitcase. It is red, shiny, and ready to go on my next adventure. I said goodbye to my old one as it was carried away in the garbage pick-up a few weeks ago.

It was worn, beat-up, dirty, and tired. Tired of being thrown around. Tired of being dragged behind me every place I went. Tired of holding all my old baggage.

We all have baggage. We carry it in backpacks, weighing down our shoulders. We hold baggage in our hearts and minds. And we drag it behind us wherever we go.
As years pass, we add to it. We stuff bitterness, anger, disappointment, heartbreak, fear, and grudges into our suitcases. We shove, squeeze, and sit on it to zip it closed. Only to open it when there is more to add. Then the stuffing begins again.

The baggage gets fuller and heavier until something breaks. The zipper explodes to expose all the past pain we carry.

Does this sound familiar?

Is it time for a new suitcase? We all have bad things happen to us. Some are tiny pebbles that bruise our feet as we walk. Some are rocks that we need to bend over and move. Some are boulders that require us to get out the climbing gear, buckle up, and work to get up, over, and past them.

None of it comes with directions, and certainly none of it comes with the requirement of loading the pebbles, rocks, and boulders into a suitcase to drag for the rest of our lives. And yet, that is what we do.

What if you dumped it all out onto the floor right now? Let the boulders roll and the rocks and pebbles kick up dust as they all fall before you. Now, wipe the dirt out of your eyes and look deeply. Think about how long ago some of these things happened to you. I suspect most of it happened years ago. Some may feel like they occurred a lifetime ago.

Study your pile of stones. Has it been worth the effort to carry them? Is the bitterness, anger, and fear worth the years you have given them? Are the grudges and heartbreaks still valid?

When you carry weight like this for years on your back or drag it behind you, one of two things happens. You become hunched over in fear, hiding from living a full life. Or you are pulled backwards from the weight of dragging all that baggage. Either way, you are stuck in yesterday and cannot move forward to enjoy today or even think about tomorrow.

Is it time to walk away from the load you are carrying? Put your worn, beat-up, dirty, tired baggage on the curb for the next garbage pick-up. Buy yourself a shiny new empty suitcase with fancy wheels to roll alongside you easily and not weigh you down. Get ready for your next adventure. Fill it up with all new wonderful memories and experiences. Stand up straight and take that new suitcase forward to a new life.
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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Don’t let the baggage of yesterday take away today.
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THE DANCE OF GRADUATION AND ADULTHOOD by Pennie Hunt

5/24/2025

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Pennie and her granddaughter

Graduation announcements are stacked on my kitchen counter. They came from a granddaughter, a grandson, and the children and grandchildren of our friends. The colorful cards have photographs of young people growing up and big smiles as they posed for senior pictures.

These beautiful messages announce more than the date and time of the graduation ceremony. They announce a passage. A coming of age. A proclamation of adulthood.

Up until now, these 18-year-olds have lived an organized life, knowing what to do and what is expected. At the age of 5, they began kindergarten. Then elementary school, middle school, and on to high school. Along with the required classes, there was soccer, Little League, dance lessons, piano recitals, band and choir concerts, swim meets, and football games. Add to this debate, chess, theater, robotics, and science clubs. Everything was structured and planned for them.

Now they sit in rows wearing an identical cap and gown in their school colors and flashing the same smile of excitement and fear. Suddenly, they must think about the rest of their life. College? Which college? Where and what should they study? Should they go to trade school or skip it all and find a job? Or take a year or two to find themselves and travel? These questions should be easy to answer, because after all – they are adults now, right?

Do you remember the day that you wore a cap and gown? I do. We had graduated into adulthood and held the diploma to prove it, right? We thought we had life under control, right? But did we really?

In most legal systems, being 18 means you are the "age of majority" and legally considered an adult. This comes with certain rights and responsibilities, such as voting, signing contracts, being responsible for personal actions, and no longer being under the legal guardianship of parents.

I think there is a little more to it than the number of candles on a cake and a diploma in a leather binder. I don’t think you wake up one morning as an adult. The process is an ebb and flow of baby steps. Two steps forward and one step back. One day being an adult. One day back to needing your hand held.

This tiptoeing back and forth gives the graduate and their parents time to adjust. Watching our babies grow up is hard. We want them to become independent and all that they can be, but at the same time, it is hard to let go. We grieve the days of rocking them to sleep, holding their hand to cross the street, and delighting in their growth.

Parents also do the two steps forward and one step back dance. Learning to stop overseeing the scheduling of your child’s life and becoming the observer is balanced with being a few steps behind to support and occasionally catch them when they falter.

We all have choices to make when we are 18 and are handed a diploma. We all make decisions. Some work out well, and some become opportunities to learn, but they all create the path of our lives. Each one adds skills and knowledge that create the adult we become. No one becomes an instant adult when they turn 18 and graduate from high school. It is a dance of choices, decisions, missteps, and success.

This week, I watched my granddaughter cross the stage, receive her diploma, and move her tassel to the left. I am not sure what choices she will make on her way to adulthood, but I know she has an amazing, exciting life opening before her. I will be her biggest fan and supporter as I observe her progress. And I will cheer from the sidelines, “Dance, honey, Dance!”
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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
No one becomes an instant adult when they turn 18.
It is a dance of choices, decisions, missteps, and success.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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ARE YOU OVER, UNDER, OR JUST RIGHT? By Pennie Hunt

5/18/2025

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Being just right is a fine line. A tiny space in life when you feel content, confident, and composed. Most of us rarely get the luxury of living in the space of being, just right.
We tend to be over or under the line most of the time.

A basketball player will stand at the three-point line, and when the ball is thrown, it falls short and misses the hoop because they underthrew the ball. It may hit the backboard because they overthrew the ball. But when the player throws the ball perfectly, you hear the sound of a swish. They experience the feeling of being just right.

Think about how often you are over or under in your life. When was the last time you overanalyzed a situation? Even a simple situation? If you are an over-analyzer, you may read books, research online, ask friends and experts for advice, and contemplate to the point of exhaustion. You may become stuck in the analyzing and never actually move forward to the doing. (This drives your underanalyzing friends crazy.)

If you are an underanalyzer, your excitement may cause you to jump in without thinking, and you find yourself in over your head. (This drives your overanalyzing friends crazy.)

Both of these can be dangerous. But if you analyze enough to feel comfortable and keep the excitement of jumping in, you will find the sweet spot of being just right.

When was the last time you overreacted to a situation? You may scream, shout, cry, or hide in your home for days. You believe the sky is falling and the world is ending. You become stuck in the reaction and can’t deal with the issue. (This drives your underreacting friends crazy.)

Or you may underreact, thinking the situation is no big deal. You ignore it, act like it didn’t happen, and expect it to go away. Then you find yourself in a worse situation that turns into a very big deal. (This drives your overreacting friends crazy.)

Both of these can be dangerous. But if you look at the situation as an observer and see it through the eyes of reality, you can calmly react with the correct emotions and accurate problem-solving skills. It will work out just right.

It’s a fine line between overreacting and underreacting. Overanalyzing and underanalyzing. Overshooting and undershooting the ball. Many of us live in extremes. We instantly run to one side or the other. All or nothing. Good or bad. Boom or bust. Right or wrong.

But we need to step back, slow down, take a breath, and see both sides. When it works out and we find ourselves calmly in the middle, thinking logically, and keeping our energy and excitement level, we can all hear the sweet swish of life feeling just right.
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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Life isn't about always being high or low, right or wrong;
it's about finding the balanced middle.
The space where clarity, contentment, and confidence feels just right.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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BEING A MOTHERLESS DAUGHTER IS HARD by Pennie Hunt

5/11/2025

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Before I began covering my freckles and brightening my lips, I reached for my phone. I thought I would dial her number, put the phone on speaker, and chat while I did my makeup - like I had done every morning for years.

Then I realized… There was no one to call. My mom passed away almost 6 years ago, but there are moments I forget she is gone. I reached for the phone to catch her up on my day, tell her some good news, or just say, hi.

Sometimes I feel guilty about the times I didn’t want to talk to her and didn’t answer her 3rd phone call of the day. Guilty for not visiting her more over the years. And guilty for occasionally being mean to her when I was young, like teenagers do.

I remember as a child being upset with her when she didn’t buy Nestle Quick at the grocery store and telling me it was out of stock.

I remember being angry at her because she left for work before my siblings and I were out of bed. We were expected to get up when the alarm went off, get dressed, eat breakfast (usually Pop-Tarts), do dishes, make our beds, and walk to school. I wanted her there to make pancakes and fix my hair in the morning like my friend’s stay-at-home moms did. I wanted her there when I came home so I could smell cookies that she had just baked. I wanted her there to listen to stories about my day.

It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized she didn’t buy the Nestle Quick because that was a luxury our family couldn’t afford. It wasn’t until I had kids of my own that

I realized how hard it was for her to leave us in the darkness of morning and drive 30 minutes to get to work, work all day and on Friday’s shop for weekly groceries for a family of 5, and then come home and cook dinner.

It took me years before I gave her the credit she deserved for being both mom and dad to 3 kids when my dad went on temporary duty with the Air Force. It wasn’t until I was married, had 3 kids of my own, and moved several times that I realized how hard it was for her to be responsible for relocating our family when my dad received transfer orders. The packing, the cleaning, the selling of a home, and finding a new one. Not to mention dealing with unhappy kids, saying goodbye to our friends and her’s, settling us into new schools and her into a new job.

Being a motherless daughter is hard. When you no longer have a mom, you think of her every day. The memories of those days of not having a mom who had cookies ready for me after school or not having chocolate in my milk are faded and far away.
Today, when I reached for the phone to talk to her, I remembered as a child, no matter how many times I called her at work, she would always answer.

I remember her as a grandmother to my children and how she loved them, spoiled them, and how at times she went above and beyond any sense of ‘grandma duty’ to help and support them.

In the last years of her life, I called her every morning as I was putting on my makeup. She would always answer the phone. I would put the phone on speaker and let her repeat the same comments and ask the same questions. I answered each one as if I hadn’t heard it repeated 3 times during the conversation.

She would tell me about her dog and her bird feeder, and if she could remember, she would tell me what she had for breakfast. During every conversation, she would ask me when I was coming to visit.

Now I realize she wanted her version of someone being home for her. She wanted me to sit next to her and hold her hand while I listened to stories about her day. A glass of chocolate milk and a freshly baked cookie for her wouldn’t have hurt.
Today, as I reached for the phone, the truth hit me. She was always there for me, even when I thought she wasn’t.

Being a motherless daughter is hard.
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Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Be grateful for your mom.
There will be a day when she isn’t there to answer the phone.
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DO YOU WRITE VERBAL CHECKS THAT CASH? By Pennie Hunt

5/4/2025

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Years ago, I worked for a bank as an Express Banker.
That was a nice title that meant all the customer problems came to me. Every day, someone would stand in front of me trying to explain that there must be a mistake why their checks didn’t cash. The problem was they wrote checks that weren’t backed up with cash in their account. Insufficient fund charges were added, the company they wrote the check to would charge them for a returned check, and the debt on their checking account grew. It was a hard lesson to learn. Many times, I would see the same person standing in front of me again and again. They never learned to write only checks that could be cashed.

In life, we write verbal checks. We make promises, commitments, pledges, and vows. The expectation is that these are backed by action that will be completed. Many times, these verbal checks don’t cash.

Have you ever been promised a promotion at work, but when the time comes to announce who will take the position, a person from outside the organization is hired?

Have you ever had a dinner date that you thought went well, and your date promised to call you, but they ghosted you and never called again?

Have you ever had an employee who was tasked with a project, but when the deadline for completion arrived, they had a million excuses why it wasn’t done?

Have you ever had a lunch date with a friend, but the morning before the planned lunch they don’t answer your phone call? You assume they either forgot or received a better offer, because they always cancel at the last minute.

When this type of behavior becomes a habit, others see it as a pattern in your character. Every time it happens, it is another dose of poison that becomes lethal to the relationship. They don’t trust or even expect you to show up for them. A professional reputation or a personal relationship can crumble when trust is broken.

How can you avoid this?

If you want to be a good friend, good partner, good parent, a good boss/employee, and a good person… write verbal checks that cash.

Don’t write a verbal check that you are not capable of fulfilling. If it is above your ability or willingness to do, don’t write the verbal check!

When you do write a verbal check, maintain your credibility by consistently following through on the action you promised.

Understand that your morals, values, beliefs, and the way you consistently act, think, and feel is your character. Hone this to the reliable and trustworthy vision of how you want to be perceived.

Don’t find yourself standing in front of the same person again and again giving excuses for why your check didn’t cash. And don’t be the one who accepts this behavior as valid. Everyone is responsible for balancing their own checkbook.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
If you want to be a
good friend, good partner, good parent, a good boss/employee,
and a good person…
write verbal checks that cash.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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WHAT ARE YOU CHEWING ON? By Pennie Hunt

4/27/2025

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I can’t chew gum.
Oh, I used to. I always had gum in my purse, my car, and my mouth. I was familiar with small sugar-free kinds. The big bubble gum kinds. And the juicy flavored kinds. I would chew and chew until the taste and juice was gone and all that was left was a tuff, stiff wad that I would continue to chew until my jaw ached. No matter how hard I chewed, it would never return to its original soft flavor. I would finally dispose of it, replace it with a new stick, and begin the process again.

I knew it wasn’t a flattering habit. I knew I didn’t look good chewing constantly. I knew the popping and snapping of gum was irritating to others, but that wasn’t enough to stop me.

It wasn’t until I began having TMJ issues and experienced major dental work that I stopped. The painful procedure was enough to inspire me to want to keep my teeth and jaw healthy and not go back to the way things were.

What are you chewing on?

In life we pick our stress. We decide what we are going to ruminate on. What we are going to chew on and chew we do. It may be work issues, financial issues, relationship issues… pick one, or maybe you are one of those people who like two or three sticks of gum (life issues) in your mouth at a time.

We chew on the problem like it is a lump of gum. Chewing violently until the taste and juice is gone, leaving a tuff, stiff wad of pain that no matter how hard or fast we chew, never becomes soft again. In an unflattering way, the work of chewing becomes a habitual self-inflicted pain making sure that we never forget the issue we are dealing with. We want the reminder of it. We want to stress about it, so we keep chewing.

When our jaw aches from chewing, we replace it with a fresh stick of problems and begin the process again. Sometimes we swallow it because it isn’t enough that our jaw aches, but we want our stomachs to feel the pain too. We think about it so much that our heads and hearts begin carrying the hurt as well.

We won’t stop until we realize that chewing on a problem is not going to fix it. It may take a painful situation for us to see clearly and change our ways.

When we do stop, we will enjoy life more. The jaw, stomach, headache, and heartache will subside. The issues and problems won’t go away, but you will find other ways to deal with them.

I can’t chew gum. I also can’t chew on problems to the point of pain. I have done both in my life, but now I find other ways to deal with them. You have heard of these stress-busting ideas- exercise, meditation, breathing techniques, etc. They all work. Ruminating on a stressful issue without taking steps to find a solution doesn’t work. Stop chewing on your problems.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Don’t chew on a problem thinking it will get better.
Find other ways to deal with the situation.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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WHO ARE YOU LIFTING IN LIFE by Pennie Hunt

4/20/2025

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When my grandkids were toddlers, they would reach their arms up to me. What do you do when a child does this? You lift them up, right? Toddlers can only see at the level of our kneecaps, so they want to be lifted to see the big, amazing world that we see. My grandkids also wanted to see if I had cookies on my kitchen counter.

When children are that size, parents and grandparents lift them. We teach them about life and show them what is right and wrong. We lift their minds and their hearts. As they grow, the lifters increase. When one of my grandsons went to first grade, he asked me if I knew what a cafeteria was. That was a whole new world for him. He had new lifters- cafeteria workers and teachers.

Soon they will have coaches and bus drivers. Then comes college, jobs, and employers --more lifters. As parents and grandparents, we hope that all these new lifters are showing them good things about life. Healthy things about life.

Then something changes. A shift happens. The kids grow up, and instead of being lifted, they become the lifters. They become the parents, the employers, and the bosses. They start doing the heavy lifting of raising children, supporting, and mentoring others.

Today, I would like you to think about lifting. Who did you lift today? Did you raise someone’s spirits? Did you find someone who is down, sad, or lonely, and did you lift them up? Did you encourage someone who felt discouraged in life, in their career, or in their relationship? Was it a child that you helped? Did you encourage them and lift them up? Was it someone older, like a parent, that you lifted?

Whenever you interact with someone who needs to be lifted, take the time to stop and talk with them. You have the power to lift them up. Don’t ever miss an opportunity to lift someone’s mind and heart. Helping, caretaking, and lifting others makes us a good person, right?

Yes, it does. But, in this process of growing and lifting that we all go through, WE stop being lifted. We are busy being good people and lifting others. We believe it is a selfless act to help others.

We are too busy and too tired to lift ourselves. We believe it would be selfish to spend time caring for and lifting ourselves. Maybe we never learned how to practice self-care, or if we did, we have forgotten how. Maybe we believe that everyone else deserves to be lifted, but we are not good enough to receive that kind of attention.

Today, when you are thinking about who you can lift, look in the mirror and lift yourself. Don’t criticize the person you see. Give yourself kindness and love. Notice all the good things about who you are. Appreciate all the good you do for others and say to yourself, “I am good enough!” Take time to spoil yourself a little. Take time to have fun and enjoy life.
Be your own lifter!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Never miss an opportunity to lift someone else and
never forget to look in the mirror and lift yourself.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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I FELL IN LOVE TODAY by Pennie Hunt

4/13/2025

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I have a reminder on my phone that says,
“I’m going to look for things to love today.”
This reminder pops up every morning at 7:00 am. It is a gentle nudge first thing in the morning to look for the good in my day and my life.

Today, when my dogs woke me up at 5:30, I was still half asleep when I got out of bed to let them outside. I walked outside with them, and as I felt the fresh air tickle my face, I knew spring was coming. I fell in love with a new day - the day ahead of me filled with adventure and the unknowns of life.

I made a cup of coffee and settled into my meditation chair. My dogs took their morning position on my lap, snuggling in for their complimentary massages. As their sweet eyes looked at me with the deepness of love that only dog lovers understand, I fell in love with them again.

With the dogs sleeping happily on my lap, I enjoyed my coffee. I fell in love with the smell and taste of vanilla, and the foamy cream swirled on top, all created by my coffee machine that I lovingly named Gloria. Her glorious coffee is the way I begin each day. I love her for that gift.

The only sound was the trickle of water from the small fountain in my home office. I fell in love with the quiet peace of the morning. My meditation was on finding things to love.

As my day went on, I fell in love with the warm water of my shower, the protein shake I had for breakfast, and the morning chat with my husband.

I sat at my computer to do some writing and fell in love with the technology that makes my work easy and doable. I fell in love with all the people who read my words and send me emails and comments. I fell in love with the connections I make through social media and the ability to touch others far away from the chair I sit in.

I fell in love with my car as I ran errands. I fell in love with my friends who sent me texts and called me to plan lunch.

I fell in love with the thought of my family and how my love grows for them with every breath.

I fell in love with every bite of food I had for dinner as my mind traveled through the path it took to bring each item to my dinner plate. From the earth and farmers to the factories and grocery stores- I fell in love.

When I went to bed, I slid into the crisp sheets and fell in love with the safety and comfort of the feeling of home. My nighttime ritual is to create a mental list of people, places, and things that I love. As I went through this gratitude list, I fell in love over and over again.

I reached to plug in my phone,which was on the nightstand. The screen reminded me,
“I’m going to look for things to love today.”

If I don’t check my reminder off as done, it will continue to pop up on my screen every time I pick up my phone. I smiled as I stared at the reminder. I didn’t have to look far today. It was all the simple things in my life that I loved. The things I usually glance over and take for granted. The things that made me slow down to enjoy and appreciate in my life. The things that I may not have forever, but today I do.

I checked off my reminder as completed for the day.
Today I fell in love.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Every day, look for things to love.
 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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What Is On Your Life List? By Pennie Hunt

4/6/2025

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Last night I watched the movie, “The Life List.” Yes, it is a romcom. Yes, it is a bit predictable at times. And yes, oh yes, it made me think.

As the trailer describes, it is the story of how a young woman embarks on a journey of self-discovery, working through a list of goals she wrote as a teenager. At the request of her late mother, she confronts her grief while finding the courage to live a full life.

I have been thinking about this movie all day. I am not sure if the term bucket list was a thing when I was young, but I am sure I had ideas in my mind that I wanted to do, things I wanted to have, and expectations I held for my life. Unfortunately, I never wrote them down. At least I have never come across the list if I did.

I did write back then. I wrote a poem when I was 16 about how I wanted 3 kids – Jimmy, Johnny, and Angela Dawn. I still have the poem written on hot pink paper. I was close- I had Jeremiah, Jameson (J.T.), and Sarah. My poem didn’t include divorce or the loss of a baby (Jake) and the loss of my 22-year-old son, J.T. I didn’t expect or predict the hard times that we all inevitably have in life. None of us do.

When I was young, I thought I would be a teacher. I look at my life now and I think I am. I teach through my writing, speaking, and the life lessons I share. Today, I tried to remember what else I wanted. What didn’t I do on my young life list?

I wanted to play piano. When I was a child, we had an organ. I hated the organ lessons I took and would dream of my hands dancing across the keyboard of a beautiful piano. I wanted to be a wonderful singer (you don’t want to hear me sing.) I wanted to ice skate like Dorothy Hamill. (I was pretty good at this.) I wanted to dance with John Travolta – this goes back to the Grease movie. What teenage girl didn’t want to dance with John Travolta?

What do I want now?

I have always wanted a house with a front porch big enough for a porch swing like my grandmother had. A safe place to daydream, drink coffee, and write. I still dream of this.

I would love to take painting lessons at the Bob Ross studio. Again, spurred by my grandmother, who spent hours duplicating his painting style as she watched him on TV. This was my inspiration to learn and enjoy painting.

I want a photo of me standing in a field of blooming sunflowers. I want to be able to make cinnamon pecan rolls like my mom did. I want to spend as much time as I can with my family and people I love and care about. I want to see every sunrise with a cup of coffee in hand and my dogs on my lap - preferably on a porch swing.

As I write this life list today, what I want now are simple things. Although I do want to travel more and London, France, and Ireland are on my list. But taking that sunflower photo would not be difficult. I could find a place for that porch swing. I have my mom’s pecan roll recipe. It all requires me putting in the effort and allowing the time to do it.

What did you have on your life list when you were young? What would you put on your life list now? When will you begin putting in the effort and allowing the time to do these things? If not now, when?

And now I am off to the kitchen. Flour, cinnamon, pecans, and a rolling pin are waiting for me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Create your life list and do the things you want to do.
If not now, when?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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Are You Living in Micro Moments? By Pennie Hunt

3/30/2025

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Recently, I was traveling and found myself in a hotel where a skin care company was holding a conference. I stepped into the hotel elevator, and a couple squeezed in just before the door closed. Ten seconds into the ride, the woman said to me,
“I can help you with those bags under your eyes.”

She then handed me her business card.

Ouch! The door opened and I exited without responding to her. Now I do realize, when I am over-tired, I can carry around undereye puffiness. I am always open to trying new products for this, but her sales delivery during a 30-second elevator ride was not going to win my interest or business.

In that micro moment, her comment clouded my entire day. I felt self-conscious. I looked in every mirror that I passed to see if my eyes looked that bad. I battled all the unkind thoughts I was thinking about her. I fixated on that one negative micro moment. I allowed it to take away my joy.

Our lives are made up of micro moments. Seconds that add up to minutes that add up to hours, days, years, and a lifetime. Most of the time, we are looking at the big picture of our lives. Are we successful in our job? Are we fulfilled in our retirement? Are we happy with our relationship?

When we look at it in this broad spectrum, we miss the micro moments. Let’s bring it down to that level. The moment a stranger smiles at you. The moment of finding a lost $20 in the pocket of an old sweatshirt. The unexpected phone call from a friend. The first snowflake of winter or the first sign of a tulip in the spring. These micro moments of joy can become lost in the bustle of our lives. We walk right by them on our way to building that big picture of our life.

But wait, we notice the negative micro moments. These snippets of time can instantly deflate our mood and lodge in our mind, ruining our entire day. The burn of a curt email. The car that cut in front of you on the way to work. The computer glitches when the internet temporarily goes out just as you are ready to send an email. And yes, an off-hand comment in an elevator that hits as a criticism.

These small negative moments are often magnified in our minds, creating a much larger impact than they deserve and spirals us into the darkness of negativity. A negative moment holds a much stronger emotional meaning to us than a joyful one. It becomes personal.

To get life back in balance, we need to give more meaning, more attention, and more power to the micro-moments of joy. The glimmers of happiness that happen all around us. The fleeting bursts of positivity add texture to our days.

We need to flip our attention from the negative moments and be mindful of the positive moments. We need to reframe our perspective and reframe our thinking to search out the micro moments of joy. When you are looking for the small moments of joy, you will find them, and the negative micro moments will not matter.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Shift your focus from negative moments to the
small moments of joy that truly shape your happiness.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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The Power of Humanities: Thinking Beyond the Classroom by Pennie Hunt

3/23/2025

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Do you remember your favorite high school class? What made it your favorite? Was it the teacher, the classmates, the subject, the time of day, or something else?

For me, it was my sophomore year, and I took a Humanities class. I will admit that at the time I did not know what that word meant. It was in a group of elective classes, and I needed to pick one.

I am guessing the description for the class looked something like this:
HUMANITIES: Exploring Human Culture
This course provides an introduction to the major ideas, artistic movements, and literary works that have shaped human civilization. Students will study a variety of disciplines, including history, philosophy, literature, music, and visual arts, to gain a deeper understanding of cultural development and human expression. Through reading, discussion, and creative projects, students will explore themes such as individual identity, ethical dilemmas, and the role of the arts in society.

I had already taken fun electives, like photography, interior design, and art, so I thought I would take a chance on humanities. After all, it seemed a bit off the beaten path of math and science (not my favorites), and I liked the idea of ‘creative projects.’ I was all in.

I received the syllabus on the first day of class. I was pretty intrigued by the areas we were going to study, but I stopped at the date scheduled to visit a funeral home. What? Nope. No way. I was sure I would be home sick that day.

Every day in class I was increasingly intrigued with what we were learning. It is interesting what stays embedded in our minds. I can’t tell you the teacher’s name, but I remember the concepts we learned and the day at the funeral home. At 16 I had only been to one funeral home. It was a deep memory of being with my grandmother when I was about four. During a shopping day she took me to a visitation. I remember walking by the casket and seeing a woman lying in it. I will never forget her bright red lipstick and the uneasy feeling I had.

That feeling came right back to me as our class walked through the door of the funeral home. I remember the discussion while we were there. It was about death and the process of grief. Our guide then took us downstairs to a room filled with display caskets. I thought it was so odd. Assorted colors of wood. Different linings. Different chrome and gold handles. I am not sure I took a breath the entire time we spent in that room, but I do remember deeply breathing in the fresh air when we left the building.

That semester in Humanities class made me think. For years I thought about how we are all connected as people. How music and art play a deep role in history and the culture of time. How communication connects human to human – no matter how the communication happens. And that day at the funeral home left me thinking about life- how we arrive, how we depart, and everything in between and after.

I had no idea that one Humanities class would be so interesting and impactful.
It spurred questions and critical thinking to continue throughout my life. I have experienced and carried with me personal journeys through grief, which have taken me to many funeral homes. I have a degree in Communication because I believe everything that happens in life (good and bad) comes down to communication. I feel deeply that all humans are connected. I believe if we hurt, others feel our pain. It shaped my values and beliefs. It spurred my compassion and empathy for others.

I had no idea all of this would play out so profoundly in my life. The word humanity is from the Latin humanitas for "human nature, kindness.” Humanity includes all humans and refers to the kind feelings humans have for each other.

We all should take a refresher course in Humanities.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
When the world feels off balance,
look for humanity- kindness, and compassion for others.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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A PAIR OF JEANS SAVED MY LIFE by Pennie Hunt

3/16/2025

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My best friend’s mom bought me my first pair of jeans and they saved my life. Well, it seemed like it at the time.

As a military family, we were living in California when the Air Force gave my dad orders to go to Thailand. While my dad was in Thailand, my mom, brother, sister, and I moved from California back to South Dakota where we would live after my dad’s time overseas.

I was in 7th grade and I wasn’t unhappy about the move. California wasn’t my favorite place to live. Even though I had adapted to the California way of dressing- the wide-legged high-waisted pants with bold colors of stripes or plaids that cascaded over my white socks and platform shoes, I never really fit into the California lifestyle. I was anxious to move back to South Dakota. A place I remembered happily living years before.

We bought a new house in my old neighborhood. I was excited to go to school and I hoped that I would find old friends. I didn’t. Everything was different. Or maybe it was all the same, but I was different. Wearing my flashy pants and platform shoes was far from the style of this place I had returned to. The style was jeans. Only jeans. And not white socks. I was called a sosh.

I struggled for a few weeks until my best friend convinced her mom to take me shopping. She bought me my first pair of Levi’s. Tight Levi’s. Lay-down-on-your-back-to-zip-them-up tight. I was thrilled! I wore them every day. Day after day. They were long enough that they covered my platform shoes and I convinced my mom to buy me new socks that weren’t white.

My new look must have worked. The jeans saved my life. I made it through the rest of junior high and high school without being laughed at or called a sosh ever again.
I became an expert on keeping up with the kind of jean brands that were in style. Back then it was Levi, Lee, or Wrangler. Now, all these years later I am feeling lost in the world of denim. I don’t have a clue what kind and style of jeans I am supposed to be wearing.

I made it through the bell-bottom era and reluctantly adapted to skinny jeans. That took a while, but I did learn to love, love, love skinny jeans.

Now I don’t know where I fit or what is right for me to wear. There are more brands than I can list. There are skinny jeans, straight-leg, bootcut, wide-legged, bell bottom, flare, and boyfriend jeans.

Once you pick one of those, then you must decide if you want high-rise, mid-rise, or low-rise. And what color do you like? Dark denim, navy, mid-wash, light wash, stone wash, acid wash, faded, indigo, … And they aren’t just blue jeans anymore. They are black, white, teal, pink, and any color you can imagine.

Do you want them normal length, ankle, petite, cuffed, stacked, capri?
Then don’t forget the choice of vintage jeans, patchwork jeans, embellished jeans, distressed jeans, and various tummy control and stretch jeans.

And the price can range from $10 at discount stores to close to the price of a weekend away at an Airbnb.

I could go on with this game, but you see where I am going. How do I know what is right for my life, my style, my age and shape? It is overwhelming! Shopping for just the right pair of jeans is an adventure of fear and determination. I will admit that I have given up the search more than once.

Last week I walked out of my closet wearing (what I thought was) a pair of cute teal jeans. My husband chuckled and told me they looked like pajama bottoms. They are currently in the donation bag. I am beginning to feel the insecurity of being a 7th grader again and wondering if people are whispering about me and if I did a social media “fit check’ I would be a bit off.
Is there anyone out there that has the answer to this dilemma?
It just might save my life!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Sometimes less is better.
More choices can create more confusion.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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The Silent Battle of the Family Thermostat by Pennie Hunt

3/9/2025

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Whenever I visited my mom, the battle would begin. She was always cold. Even though she would wear layers of clothes, and I would gift her with lap blankets, sweaters and jackets, she was never warm enough. She kept her thermostat set to 80 degrees. Year round- 80 degrees.

I understood that aging brings slower circulation, slower metabolism, thinner skin, and the loss of ability to generate enough heat to be comfortable. I was sympathetic to this – hence the gifts of lap blankets, sweaters, and jackets.

Visiting my mom was like being in a sauna you couldn’t escape from. I couldn’t argue enough to persuade her to bump it down a bit. My mom was a tiny four-foot-nothin little powerhouse of a woman who wasn’t afraid to stand her ground. There was no compromise. She wanted it set where she wanted it set. That was that— end of conversation.

So, the silent battle would begin.

Every time I walked down the hallway, I would stop at the thermostat and inch down the number to where it was tolerable for a human to survive.
Every time she walked down the hallway, she would bump it back to her sweatbox number of 80.

We didn’t talk about it, we didn’t scold each other, we didn’t even make eye contact. We just slyly changed the temperature back and forth. Back and forth.

I look back on those days with humor in my heart like I am remembering a Sunday night sitcom on TV. I wish my mom was still here to battle with, but I realize that the Battle of the Thermostat didn’t end with my mom. It has become the same in my home.

My husband and I are rarely at the same climate-controlled body temperature. I can become overheated while cooking in the kitchen, and he can be chilly sitting in a chair reading. I like to sleep with the windows open and a ceiling fan on, and he likes to snuggle under layers of blankets, closed windows, and no fan. In the summer, I freeze if the AC is too cold, and he likes the house to feel like a meat locker.

The silent battle has begun.

We have this fancy thermostat that can be controlled on our phones. I can sit in my home office and inch the temperature up or down to where it is tolerable for MY idea of human survival.

He can sit in his reading chair at the opposite side of the house and adjust the setting to his comfort level. We don’t talk about it, we don’t scold each other, we don’t even make eye contact. We just slyly change the temperature back and forth.

I am pretty sure this is a common family battleground. After all, we are all different ages, shapes and sizes and have different set points for our preferred temperature of comfort. I am certain that even with our work families, there are varied opinions of what the desirable heat and AC adjustment should be.

Recently I noticed two new warriors in our Battle of the Family Thermostat. Our dogs. Zenee just turned 8 and loves to sleep on her back to cool off her tummy and lay her head on the cool wood floor. Gracie just turned 9 and insists on wearing her lightweight coat in the house and sleeps with her paws tucked under her as if she is freezing.
They don’t have their own phones, or the four-way battle would begin. Our thermostat would probably blow up!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
  None of us feel life at the same temperature.
  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 GRACIE

Zenee

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IT’S HARD TO KNOW WHEN HELP ISN’T HELPING by Pennie Hunt 2-26-2025

3/2/2025

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Sometimes I hear a concept that forces me to think. A thought, a phrase, a word that makes me ponder about how it relates to my life and mistakes I have made.
I was with a group of friends talking and someone said,
“It is hard to tell when help isn’t helping.”

Woah. Let that settle into your brain for a minute. How many times in life do we think we are giving help, but it really isn’t helping?

When my children were learning to walk, I was terrified that they would fall and bump their heads on the corner of my coffee table. I would hover over them as they took their wobbly steps and caught them right before they lost their footing. I thought I was helping, but the reality is, when they fell, they learned how to get back up on their own. Their balance improved. Falling was a lesson they needed to learn.

When they were school-age, I could have been considered a helicopter mom. I would run the lunch box or homework to school when it had been forgotten and left on the kitchen counter. Was I helping them or keeping them from learning the consequences of their forgetfulness? Maybe one day of missing lunch, or a zero on an assignment would have taught them not to forget the next time.

It took me parenting my 3rd young adult before I learned this valuable lesson… I would see things I felt he needed to do differently and give my advice on how his life should be lived. Of course, I would write a check to fund the steps needed to carry my advice through. I thought I was helping, but I was keeping him from making his own decisions, living his own life, and making his own mistakes. It took a few years (and a lot of checks) before I realized if I stopped giving advice, I would stop writing checks. I can’t say this any clearer – When you stop giving advice, you stop writing checks!

There have been times in life when family members and friends have formed a relationship with someone, I didn’t feel was a good match for them. Expressing those thoughts didn’t typically change their feelings for the person. Relationships will work out, or not work out, in time. In the process, lessons are learned. In most cases, it is better to be an outside observer and watch the process. Telling them what you feel about the relationship doesn’t help.

In life, there is something to be said for letting a man be a man and letting a woman be a woman. We all need to feel empowered to get up when we fall – even if we bump our heads in the process. Falling is painful, but it teaches us how to get back up. We learn how to be resilient. People need to stand on their own feet and walk their own paths.

We will all have setbacks when we make a poor decision, lose money, or find ourselves in the wrong relationship. A bad decision has consequences, but it creates a foundation for better decision-making in the future. Losing money is painful but teaches an appreciation for earning more and self-respect for paying our own way. Relationship breakups hurt but it teaches us what we don’t want in a future long-term relationship.

From the outside, it is difficult to watch a friend or family member go through these lessons. It is easier to step in with advice, proposed solutions, and financial support to correct the failures. But… are they failures? Maybe they are stepping stones in their path of life. Lessons they need to learn to become stronger. Experiences they need to have to become the person they are meant to be.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
It is hard to tell when help isn’t helping.
Sometimes what you think is helping
hinders the intended path of someone else’s life.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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EVEN HAPPY PEOPLE GET SAD by Pennie Hunt

2/23/2025

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Do you get irritated when you see happy people? You know the ones — the people who are always smiling. Always upbeat. Always humming as they work. You think sunshine and rainbows must hover over their home. You are certain they have a perfect life. The kind of life you want but just seeing them so unrealistically happy annoys you.

I teach people how to be happy. I give them tips and techniques to Love Your Life- No Matter What. I believe living with joy and happiness is a choice. I am one of those optimistic, look-at-the-bright-side happy people. It takes a lot to get me angry and even more to get me down. But it occasionally happens. Here is my point … even happy people get sad.

A couple of days ago I had a bad day. I couldn’t decide if I didn’t feel well, if I was sad, if I was lonely, if I was feeling sorry for myself, if I was tired, or if I was… well, a big combo of all of it.
It was a bad day.

So, I did the only thing I could think of. I put myself to bed. Like an over-tired 2-year-old, I needed to just close my eyes and let everything lift off my mind. I took a 2 ½ hour nap in the middle of the day – something I rarely do.

When I woke up my first inclination was to go back to sleep. Go back to that place of a blank mind, but instead, I stayed in bed and had a talk with myself. Of course, I went through my gratitude list of all the people and reasons I have in my life to be grateful and happy. I gave myself a stern, quit-feeling-sorry-for-myself lecture. I closed my eyes and began taking deep breaths. Not to go back to sleep, but to try to clear out the negative junk that was in my mind.

Then it came to me. No one is going to rush in and make me happy. No one is going to come to the rescue, wave a magic wand, and make me feel great. NO ONE CAN CREATE JOY FOR ME- except me! Joy is an inside job. My job. No one is going to do that for me.

I teach happiness, but I still have an occasional bad, sad, no-good-rotten day. I have days when I need to listen to my own writings and practice my own tips and techniques.

I tell others, when you don’t know what to do – do nothing. For me, it was a 2 ½ hour nap to get me through my overwhelming confusion. What I do know for sure is being in stillness has a way of clarifying everything. Sometimes a nap and realigning how you look at things can go a long way to healing your heart and mind. It opens space for the answers you need and the guidance you should follow.

What I know to be true is that even happy people get sad. Sometimes those unrealistically happy people who annoy you are just better at covering their sadness with a smile. Sometimes those are the people you need to check in with. None of us get through life without times of sadness. For some people, times of sadness, grief, depression, and tragedy require professional help to walk with you through these times. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

But when you do have an occasional sad day, a down day, a rotten day, remember - joy is an inside job. No one can create joy for you except you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Even happy people get sad.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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From Pressure to Peace – Leaving Burnout Behind by Pennie Hunt

2/17/2025

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I bet you have felt it. You aren’t motivated. You feel drained and exhausted. The enthusiasm you once had for your work is gone. You have lost interest in productivity or performance. You are stressed, overwhelmed, and you feel hide-in-the-closet hopeless!

You might add to that list physical problems like headaches and insomnia. You see yourself stepping away from social activities, procrastinating, and the person you see in the mirror is moody and irritable – even to you!

You have lost or gained weight because you are so busy and pressed for time that your diet has suffered. You skip meals or grab easy food and eat on the run. You may notice that food, caffeine, or alcohol has become a closer friend than it used to be.
You wonder if you are depressed, but you don’t have the energy or the power to concentrate long enough to research what is wrong, so you convince yourself that it is just YOU, and if you move faster and do more it will get better.

Here is a news flash. It isn’t YOU. All those symptoms can be bundled into one word- BURNOUT!

This state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged or excessive stress can be caused by work stress, family stress, caretaking of aging parents and/or children, or a combination of all of it. In our fast-paced world, “life” can cause burnout. Symptoms can vary but may include those I mentioned above – and more.

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. A recent article in Forbes stated that burnout is at an all-time high with 66% of America’s employees experiencing some level of burnout. I also wouldn’t leave out students, stay-at-home parents, and retirees. Burnout can strike all ages and stages of life.

So how do we balance our lives and begin living in bliss instead of burnout? How do we move from stress to simplicity? From havoc to happiness? From chaos to calm? How do we pursue the path from pressure to peace in our lives?

This is where you might be thinking I am ready to give you the golden ticket, the perfect solution, or the map that will guide you to reach that place of peace and bliss. I am sorry to say I don’t have a one-size-fits-all answer.

I have many decades of life experience. And yes, I have had more than one pocket of time that I experienced being frazzled or overtired – the words used years ago before burnout became popular. What I have learned is that some situations will change with time. When I was a stay-at-home mom with 3 young children, I had times when I thought I couldn’t change one more diaper, stay up one more night with a sick child, or manage one more fundraiser for their school. But I did and my children grew up. I look back at those days with love- it still makes me tired to think of it- but I cherish the sweetness of that time.

I also remember almost ten years of leading an organization, traveling, working 60-hour weeks, and commuting almost 2 hours every day. My burnout became real. When health issues and life tragedies hit me, I decreased my work time, decreased travel, and commuting, and began practicing self-care.

What I stress to you is this- you must do what works for you. Pay attention to your body. Very little in life is worth giving up your health for. Make time to eat right and exercise. If you cannot cope or deal with depression, see a professional if needed. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and put yourself first.

Cut down your “Hafta” list. We believe we are indispensable and hafta do everything. There is very little in life that you hafta do! Yes, I realize most people have rent or a mortgage, so you hafta have an income and if you have babies – you hafta feed the babies! But take a deep look at everything on your hafta list and chisel it down!

Look at your job or career. Are you doing what you love? Is there a way to improve your current situation? Is your boss open to conversations about change? If none of this works, refresh your resume- it may be time to find success elsewhere.

It takes time to create a life you love, but it is possible. Finding the right balance between what you hafta do and what you enjoy doing is attainable. Burnout can make you feel like a failure or imposter, but you are not. You are just on the path from pressure to peace as you leave burnout behind.
Enjoy the journey!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Focus on what matters in life.
Create a life of balance and peace.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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Are You in Your Worry Era? By Pennie Hunt

2/9/2025

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I hear the word, era a lot lately. Most of us know that word as indicating a segment of geological time or describing a specific historical event.

Maybe it was Taylor Swift’s Era Tour that had everyone thinking about the modern definition of era which is - a personal phase in your life characterized by a theme, behavior, or circumstance. The fluidity of this can last for minutes or a lifetime. A new era can begin when you embark on a new mindset or activity that embraces a particular lifestyle. This is often spurred by a significant life change, challenge, or achievement.

You may currently find yourself in a Lazy Era, a Boho Era, a Sporty Era, or A Boss Girl Era. If you are on a health plan it may be a Protein Shake Era. If you have suddenly found a love for a new hobby, it could be your Yoga Era or Artistic Era. If you end a relationship, you could find yourself back in your Single or Dating Era. You can name your era whatever you like, so be creative.

There is one era I am noticing that many people are falling into. The Worry Era. In the world we live in today uncertainty surrounds us. Change is happening at an accelerated speed. Every day there are new advancements in AI and technology, so you might worry if they are good or bad.

Weather changes, fires, floods, and blizzards may have you worrying about the devastating ramifications of these disasters.

Changes in leadership at your job, or on a governmental level may make you worried about what changes may affect your income, financial security, or life.

Add into this the common life worries of keeping your kids safe, your aging parents cared for, your health and the health of others, paying bills, etc.

The Worry Era is a dangerous one to be in. This kind of layering of worry on top of worry, on top of worry, can destroy your happiness and your health.

I have an idea. You have heard of the 80/20 rule where 80% of your productivity comes from 20% of your work. A twist on that is an example of dieting. If you eat healthy food 80% of the time, then 20% of the time you can splurge on sweets or not-so-healthy foods.

Let’s use that example for worry. What if you fed your mind positive, healthy upbeat, happy, and controlled thoughts 80% of the time and allowed yourself only 20% of the time for worry? If you are in the Worry Era, I suspect you are currently worrying much more than 20% of your time now. You are probably running a worrisome scenario through your mind constantly. Even if you are concentrating on work or an enjoyable event, there is a smaller area of your brain that is simultaneously running wild with thoughts of worry. Even this back burner of worry is detrimental to your health and well-being. It steals your joy!

Try to control your thoughts. Set a small amount of time aside to worry. Sit down and let your brain worry about everything for that small, restricted amount of time. Then shut it off and go back to living in a calmer, more content environment. When you control this worrying time, I think you will see just how much of your life you were spending on worry.

Get out of the Worry Era! Stop now and pick a new era that is much more fun and exciting. Can I interest you in a Pickle Ball Era or a Walking Era? Maybe an Adopt-a-New-Puppy Era or a Learning to Cook Era. A Dancing Era.
The Era’s are endless! What’s your pleasure?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
Don’t allow yourself to worry more than 20% of the time
and watch the other 80% of your life become more joyful.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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DID YOU MAKE PROGRESS TODAY? By Pennie Hunt

2/2/2025

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Have you had a boss who made an impression in your life? I have. This person wasn’t my favorite boss, we didn’t work together long, and we didn’t become lifelong friends. But in our short time together, this boss gave me something I will never forget – one question.

At the end of every workday, my boss would ask me,
“Did you make progress today?”

There was rarely an inquiry as to what I was working on, how I was completing tasks, or what successes I could tout. Just one question that spurred a yes or no response-
“Did you make progress today?”

Every day I would smile and simply say, “Yes.”

Decades have passed since we have worked together, but that one question embedded itself in a wrinkle of my brain. For years that question has popped into my thoughts when I need to hear it the most. When I am working on something that doesn’t seem to be moving fast enough or isn’t creating a sense of accomplishment or success, I ask myself that simple question-
“Did you make progress today?”

It has become a wonderful version of positive self-talk. Instead of feeling like I have failed at something it creates a positive space for moving forward- even if it is a little at a time. Every movement forward is progress.

Wouldn’t that be a great concept to adopt for yourself? So often in life we are pushed to do more, be more, and accomplish more. No wonder we carry so much stress. No wonder the 2024 burnout rate of workers was the highest number ever with 40% of employees reporting feelings of burnout. No wonder in 2024 nearly 60 million Americans reported experiencing mental health illness.

We are pushed to be perfect. Pushed by our companies, our bosses, our world, and ourselves. When will enough be enough? When will the search for perfection stop? When will we stop trying to be 100% perfect 100% of the time and just try to be a better person than the one we were yesterday? Let the magic of the compound effect work. A little better every day creates progress every day and will move you to the outcome you are reaching for.

By thinking this way, we will make progress without living a life filled with damaging stress. We will be moving at the speed we need to move at and making the progress we are supposed to be making. It might turn out to be more progress than you thought you could make.

If you are a boss, try this with your employees. If you are a parent, try this with your kids. Most importantly, begin trying this yourself. At the end of every day look in the mirror and ask yourself this question,
“Did you make progress today?”

All those years ago I doubt that my boss knew what an impact this one question would make on my life. But little by little, day by day it did.
And yes, I made progress!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s life lesson:
"Today don't try to be perfect.
Just try to be a little better than the person
you were yesterday."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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NOTHING IS AS GOOD OR BAD AS WE REMEMBER IT TO BE by Pennie Hunt

1/26/2025

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Weird things come to my mind when I am in the shower. Sometimes amazing ideas hit me.
Sometimes it is an errand I must remember to do or a call I need to make. Sometimes it is memories of things that have happened in my life – yesterday or decades ago.

These thoughts can play out in odd, quirky little rhymes that don’t rhyme well or make much sense, but they lock my brain on a snapshot of time, like…

We built castles in the sandbox and
    washed them away with the garden hose.
We traded wobbly training wheels and scraped knees
     for first love and butterfly feels.
Life teased us with promises and possibilities,
     that we never took seriously.
Life was simple, time was slow,
   we didn’t know what we didn’t know.
Life was quiet and like the sand,
   time slipped quickly through our hands.

If you are like me, we recreate memories the way our brain wants us to remember them. From our perspective, it is enhanced with a bit of imagination that makes the memory better or worse than it really was.

For example, if you went to a new restaurant and had the best meal of your life. You can’t stop thinking about that steak or bowl of pasta. You can still smell the sizzling steak. The sauce on the pasta was worth the stain it left on your favorite shirt. The meal was perfect!

A month or two later you go back to enjoy it again. It isn’t as good as you remembered it to be. It was good but you glorified the memory in your mind- making it better than it was.

We are also good at making bad memories worse than they were. Every time we run it through our mind it’s worse and more painful. Our mind loves to make bad situations more dramatic.

When we remember good memories of having a pleasurable experience with people we care about, we feel happiness. So, emphasizing the memory of pleasure increases our happiness during the time of remembering.

In the same way, emphasizing the feelings of pain when we relive difficult memories increases our sadness and devastation. This can keep us stuck in anger or despair.

We can manage our memories. First, we need to realize that we can’t erase or change the memory bank in our minds. All deposits are there for a lifetime- there is no withdrawing them.
Simple childhood memories may be remembered very differently by siblings. We all have a vantage point and perception of how things happened in the past. This doesn’t mean that one person is right or wrong – we just all have individual, personalized memory files.

Next, we need to pay attention to how accurate our memories are. Have we glorified and enhanced the good ones?

I will never discount how devastatingly painful memories can truly be tied to tragedy. These will forever break our hearts. This is the holy ground of memories. The memories of grief and loss that are yours to hold as sacred to your heart. But be realistic about many of your bad memories… has your mind enhanced the drama by taking them (unrealistically) from bad to tragic?

Lastly, we control how often we visit memories. It begins in our mind- what will you give power to and what has power over you? If we are in a world of constantly reliving things that happened in the past, we are missing out on living life now. Enjoy the feeling of good memories. Don’t allow the bad ones to cause you to live in a constant journey from one pain point to another pain point.

Visit your memories. Let them wash over you as a quick trip to the past. Trying to change or erase them is like trying to hold water in the palm of your hand. It won’t work.

Maybe my little nonsensical poem makes more sense than I thought. Maybe life does tease us with promises and possibilities that we don’t take seriously. Maybe as I watch decades of memories drift through my mind and down the shower drain, I realize I didn’t know what I do now… life is like sand and slips right through our hands…memories and all.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
We can’t erase or change the memory bank in our minds.
  All deposits are there for a lifetime- there is no withdrawing them.
   ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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He Will Always Be My Baby by Pennie Hunt

1/19/2025

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Today would have been his 40th birthday. I say, it would have been, because it has been 17 years since I have celebrated a birthday with him. Seventeen years since I have seen my son’s smile, touched his beard, or felt one of his famous hugs.

I remember that day 40 years ago. It was Monday. I vacuumed the house. I watched Back to the Future on a VHS tape rented from Blockbuster. I packed a pale green terrycloth sleeper to dress a baby in. I wore a purple jogging suit to the hospital. My parents came over to stay with my other two children at 5:45 pm.

A sports game was playing on the television in the delivery room. It was basketball or football, I don’t remember for sure- I was busy having a baby.

“IT’S A BOY!”

This was a different time. There were no ultrasounds to predict what color to decorate the nursery months in advance. The excitement of hearing whether I had a new son or daughter was saved for that moment.

He arrived at 9:30 pm weighing 6 lbs. 14 oz and measuring 20 inches long. His name was Jameson Tanner. That was very quickly shortened to J.T.

He didn’t cry. He looked at me with wide-open eyes that twinkled as if he was back- not new to this world, but back for another visit to a familiar place. He was calm, but his eyes looked around as if he was ready for an adventure. An adventure that I wasn’t sure I was ready for.

I remember that day in colorful detail. I feel like birthdays are a joyous celebration of a new life and anticipation of what is to come. Year by year we celebrate who this person is, who they have become, and the progress they have made moving through this life. We bake cakes, blow out candles, and unwrap gifts.

I also feel like this day should be a celebration and recognition of the momma who carried this baby within the protective space of her own body. The mom who labored and birthed this soul. It should not only be a celebration of the safe delivery of a baby, but also a celebration of the mom’s birth-ing day. The day she gave birth to another human. The day she released a part of her soul into this world. A part that is never fully disconnected from her.

I can easily remember each of J.T.’s years on this earth. Each celebration. Each cake. Each blowing of candles and opening of gifts. I remember each one from the first to the 22nd. That is when the images and memories stopped.

Today would have been the 40th. I can’t see him at 40. My mind tries to imagine him with a little gray in his beard and a few wrinkles around his eyes. I try to imagine what job he would have and how much he would still love playing his guitar. I try to imagine him laughing with his brother, sister, and his daughter. I try to imagine 40 years of his famous hugs.

But I can’t.

Today is a quiet day like every day. A cup of coffee while my dogs slept on my lap. A little reading and my morning meditation. Today I hit 1,000 days of consecutive mediation sessions. I don’t believe it is an accident that my guided meditation topic today was about addiction.

I don’t believe it was a coincidence that today I saw a young man walking down the street wearing a black sweatshirt, black baseball cap, and baggy jeans. As he talked on his phone I could see his auburn beard and curly hair reflecting the sun. A twin of J.T.

I don’t believe that it was an accident that when I started my car this morning, my music app began playing a song by one of his favorite artist, Bob Dylan. A song I had never heard before titled, I Will Be Your Baby Tonight. Interestingly, this song began playing on its own after I had spent the morning thinking of that day of birthing my baby 40 years ago.

I looked up the lyrics. It is a short simple song, and I realize it is meant to be about a couple, but today, for me the lyrics fit. Today it was about the day of J.T.’s birth. About how J.T. will always be connected to me and how he will always be my baby.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
From birth to death, everything in between, before, and after…
a mother will always be connected to her child.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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THIS IS WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE… TODAY By Pennie Hunt

TURN YOUR BUCKET UPSIDE DOWN AND FILL YOUR BLESSING BASKET by Pennie Hunt

ONE MOMENT CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING by Pennie Hunt

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IT’S HARD TO KNOW WHEN HELP ISN’T HELPING by Pennie Hunt 2-26-2025

EVEN HAPPY PEOPLE GET SAD by Pennie Hunt

From Pressure to Peace – Leaving Burnout Behind by Pennie Hunt

Are You in Your Worry Era? By Pennie Hunt

DID YOU MAKE PROGRESS TODAY? By Pennie Hunt

NOTHING IS AS GOOD OR BAD AS WE REMEMBER IT TO BE by Pennie Hunt

He Will Always Be My Baby by Pennie Hunt

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