Pennie Hunt - The Corner of Spirit & Brave

The Charlie Hunt 3 Strike Rule

6/15/2019

My Dad had a rule of giving businesses and people three chances.

He felt that anyone can have a day when things just don’t go right and shouldn’t be judged on one interaction or experience. So he would allow three times to get it right.

He wouldn’t discount a restaurant if he had a bad meal the first time he visited, or complain if a sales clerk didn’t treat him kindly, or judge a person by on misguided choice.

He would give them a second chance.

And a third.

But, if on the third chance they were still inadequate or unkind he would feel confident that he gave them enough of his time to show their potential before he decided they would not be a part of his life.

My Dad passed away in 2005. Now when I have an unpleasant experience I try to remember the Charlie Hunt 3 Strikes Rule before I immediately form an opinion.

The second or third pitch just might be a home run!

Pennie’s Life Lesson:
"Don't judge on the first experience
or the second
- the third pitch just might be a home run."

YOUR TURN...
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to   remember that everyone can have a bad day, an off moment, a slip in judgment. What if you gave them three changes, before you judged them?
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
PennieHunt@gmail.com.
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013-2019 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post.  Please keep the entire message intact, including  contact, logo, and copyright information.

REMEMBER TO REMEMBER

6/7/2019

Why do we hold certain space markers in time so close to our hearts?

The stars on the calendar that designate special days and moments are there to encourage us to remember to remember.

My husband and I just celebrated our wedding anniversary. As the day approached we planned a celebration dinner. Throughout the anticipation and planning of the celebration we talked about what we were doing in this space of time years ago as we designed our wedding.

We talked about how he proposed, the preparation and the ceremony.

But more importantly I was reminded of the feelings of that space in time.

I could FEEL the excitement again. I could sense the bouquet in my hands and the smell of the lilies. I once again was holding my son's arm as he walked me through the grass to ceremony site. I could hear the ocean as the waves crashed to the rocks just steps from our vows. I could feel the commitment as my husband stated, in front of our family, why he loved me. I could see the joy in the faces of the ones who joined us as we cheered with champagne, ate and danced.

I once again felt gratitude for the joining of us.

It was more than just saying "Happy Anniversary."

The most important part of this exercise is this— We are here to have joy.

By remembering not just with your mind, but through re-feeling the joy and bringing it out of the memory space and into your emotions here and now the joy will flow through you again. The more joy you can remember, the more joy you will live in, and the more joy you will make.

How can you use this daily? Remember that every moment is a future memory. Fill every day with joy worthy of a star on the calendar.

The next time one of your special days marked with a star come up on your calendar Remember to Remember - not just the day, but also the feelings, the sights, the sounds and the smells.
Re-feel the experience.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie's Life Lesson- "Remember to Remember not just a memory,
but to re-feel the joy the memories hold."
   ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pennie Heart to Heart
REMEMBER TO REMEMBER

YOUR TURN...
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to remember those special days in life - not just the date, but the way it FELT!
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
PennieHunt@gmail.com.
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013-2019 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.

WHAT DO YOU ATTRIBUTE YOUR SUCCESS TO?

6/2/2019

Recently, I heard a question that made me ponder:

“What do you
attribute your place in life, your success, to?”

Of course I thought of defining moments in my life, graduations, marriage, and the birth of my children.
But this was asked in a deeper sense than that. It is one of those questions that should be given careful thought.

For me the answer came swiftly.

I was raised in a military family. When the word “ORDERS” was mentioned around my house it meant we would be moving. I remember waiting for my Dad to come home from work and running to see if he was carrying the yellow envelope; the one that held the name of the location of our next home.

He would walk in, cocooned in his military green uniform and black shiny boots, whistling and smiling as if he held the secret to the universe in his hand.

Once the location was revealed my small bare feet would jump on his shiny boots. He would dance me around the kitchen while the family chattered about dates and logistics of the move.

My Mom, a tiny powerhouse of a woman, was a working mom at a time when most moms weren’t. With every new set of orders she orchestrated movers, house sales, school transfers, 3 unhappy children and travel. She was tough, strong and not afraid to stand up for what she believed in.

For me, dancing with my Dad was the only fun part. Orders meant leaving friends and starting over. I thought for sure that this was child abuse. I remember cleaning out my desk at school; walking to the school office with my Mom to fill out separation paperwork; and saying goodbye to teachers and classmates.

I can still breathe the smell of the manila paper and packing boxes the movers used to wrap our belongs before loading them into the moving van.

I can still feel the place in my stomach where fear boiled as I walked into a new school, met new teachers and filled a new desk.
Yes, I was certain this was child abuse.

It taught me a valuable lesson--- make friends on the playground or stand alone.

I attribute the place I hold in life and any success I have to this lesson.

I may not have a best friend who has held my hand from preschool to midlife. I may not have a house to visit where I was raised with a wall chalked with my height measurements as I grew.

But, I learned that some lessons come wrapped in pain and discomfort.
I learned how to accept change with a whistle and a smile.
I learned how to be tough, strong and not afraid to stand up for what I believe in.
I learned how to talk and communicate.
I learned how to tell my story.
I learned that relationships are important.
I learned friend building.

Now here is the question for you to ponder:

“What do YOU attribute your place in life, your success, to?”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie's Life Lesson:
"Make friends on the playground
or stand alone."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

YOUR TURN...
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to remember those moments in life where you learned a defining lesson...one that added to your success in life. Is there someone you need to thank for that lesson?
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
PennieHunt@gmail.com.
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013-2019 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.

IT’S ONLY OATMEAL

5/22/2019

I remember the clock.
It looked like oak.
It wasn’t.
It was supposed to be a reminder of the time. Time to get up, time to eat, time to watch a favorite tv show, or time to go to bed.

But for my Dad, it was a count down.
A countdown of every hour, minute, and second that he continued to live. He would sit in his lazy boy starring at the clock as it ticked away what life he had remaining.

When you are dying and know you are dying big things seem small and small things seem big. He was grateful for a clean sheet on his chair and the way he felt after a shower - a small thing. But the process of standing, shuffling to the bathroom, and maneuvering his oxygen tube around him as he sat on the shower stool seemed big.

One day we were waiting for the doctor to arrive. A car ride to the doctor’s office had become more than he could handle. For the doctor to stop on his way home to check on him was a small effort, but big for my dad. The clock ticked.
My dad watched the clock.
I watched my dad.
My mom watched me.

The doctor opened the door and brought the fresh air of the outside in with him disrupting the stuffy stagnant smell that stillness, fear, and illness creates. He also brought a smile, compassion, and hope.
After listening to my dad’s lungs and heart, checking blood pressure, and asking the routine questions, my dad said he had something he was worried about.

With weak shaking hands my dad reached to unbutton his pajama top. The doctor helped him. Pointing to his chest my dad located a crusty scabby looking circle. Between the sound of the tube sucking oxygen, my dad explained that he didn’t know what the sore was, and it had just appeared quickly. He was concerned.

The doctor reached for the nearby reading light pulling it over my dad’s chest. My mom stood on one side of my dad’s chair and I stood next to the doctor. All three of us leaned in to scrutinize the mysterious growth.
What was it?
A new complication brought on by this disease?
Something more dangerous?
We all held our breath.

The doctor hmmmm’d and said,
“This is interesting.
It looks like.... it looks like.....”

Then the doctor put his thumb and middle finger together and flicked the mysterious mass as if it was a bug. It flew across my dad’s chest.
“It looks like oatmeal.” The doctor said.

For the first time in many weeks, laughter erupted.
My mom clapped her hands together. I wiped tears away as I held my stomach to stop the ache that comes from deep belly laughs. The doctor let his laughter roar and the oxygen machine was spastically trying to keep up with the strain of my dad’s sudden need for more as he struggled to laugh.

It was just oatmeal.
A small innocent dribble of oatmeal from my dad’s breakfast that had crusted to form a mysterious mass- a big mysterious mass.

Sometimes big things seem small and small things seem big and it may just be oatmeal.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
“During the most intense, trying times of life big things seem small and small things seem big.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

YOUR TURN...
I shared this with you to encourage you to think about how you see events in your life. Are they big or small? Important or simple?
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
PennieHunt@gmail.com.
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013-2019 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.

THREE WORDS

5/11/2019

Can you describe yourself in three words?
How do you see yourself?
How do you believe others see you?

When I was asked these questions I thought of words like Mom, Grandmother, wife, speaker, writer, but I wanted better words.
wanted words with more grandeur.
I wanted words that carried with them not just a superficial description of looks or my job(s) in life, but a feeling, a purpose and a mission.

After weeks of rolling this idea through every wrinkle of my mind and struggling to create a short list of three, I decided I wasn't the most reliable person to ask.

I wanted to know how I was doing and if others would give me a passing grade or if I needed to study harder and practice more in order to be described in the way I hoped.

So, I sent out this email:

Hello,
I am working on a project and wonder if you would take a second to help me out. It is easy - all I need you to do is send me a few adjectives that you'd think of to honestly describe me. You can send me three or twenty or as many you wish to share, but make it easy for you. No, this isn't one of the silly email "forwards" -- I really am working on a project.
Thank you so much in advance for doing this!
Pennie

This is not an exercise for the faint of spirit. As I hit the send button, bubbles over my head began filling with words I wouldn't like.
What if the responses were negative?
What if they were less than flattering?
What if no one responded; what would that mean?

But there it was, heading through the mysteries of the Internet and landing smack in the middle of 100 computer screens!

I sent it to close friends and to acquaintances.
I sent it to family members.
I sent it to people who see me daily and ones who hadn't seen me in 10 years.
I sent it to those who I was confident would say glowing things and I sent it to those who I feared might not.
From young adolescent friends of my son to legislators, they held my life image at their computer keyboards.

I waited.

The first response came in minutes, others came weeks later. They came in clusters of pings to my computer and in single messages late in the night. They came in short emails with just three words. They came in lists of adjectives depicting my impression on them with long elaborations of why they chose the words they did.

The fear of what would be given me as the mirror of myself became a life opening experience.

I was humbled by the response as an ultimate washing of appreciation and love came through in the words given to me. Some made me laugh.
Some made me cry.
Some made me cry more.
Only three people asked me why I wanted to know. It didn’t seem to matter.
They just responded.

I created a spread sheet to track the words. Repeated words were given a tally mark.
The spreadsheet grew with a list of 197 words.

Very quickly 13 words began creating a pattern of repetition.   The top three winners were
     Caring, Thoughtful, and Kind.
These were followed closely with   Compassionate, Honest, and Loving.

What a lesson I had learned!
These are simple words, but I realize these are my words of grandeur; my words of feeling, purpose and mission.
These are my words to live by.

Now, I have a standard to uphold.
This is how others see me and I don’t want to let them down.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie's Life Lesson:
When you create a standard of compassion, kindness and love to live your life by- you will receive compassion, kindness and love from others.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

YOUR TURN...
I shared this with you to encourage you to think about how you see yourself AND how others see you. Is it the vision you want?
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
PennieHunt@gmail.com.
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013-2019 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.

OH, FERN!

5/10/2019

In honor of Mother's Day, I am sharing this "Pennies From The Past" about my Mom.
I wrote this in 2013 when The Fernster was 82.
And now, at almost 88, my amazement, respect and love for my Mom grows with each year.
Happy Mother's Day to The Fernster!

Pennie and The Fernster May 2019.

I can still hear my Dad say, “Oh, Fern,”
as she began one of her stories.

He called her Fernie Annie.
Her nickname is The Fernster.
Elsie Fern Tutewiler Hunt – yes, that is her name. To me she is Mom and yet, she is more than any of those names.

Growing up I remember her as the family organizer, the child wrangler, the disciplinarian, and the choreographer of our life.

She was a working Mom when most were home watching soap operas and creating meals from the Betty Crocker Cook Book. She worked hard and expected the same from others.

Thinking about the Fernster, I began to wonder who she was before me, before the years of motherhood and responsibility wrapped around her.

I looked at some pictures of her in younger days. I saw the impish smile of a child and imagined her laugh. I saw the hair of a young woman flow around her physical presence – self-assured, happy and carefree.

I realized that stepping back from the Mom I've always loved I could look deeper to see a whole person. Years before her title of Mom, there was a woman filled with spirit, determination and dreams, eager to experience this world.

The Fernster is almost 82 now and slowing down a bit. Her eyesight a little less focused, her hearing and memory a little muffled, yet her spirit and spunk remain intact.

Now I see the whole person wrapped with memories of a life lived, people loved and experiences had. And yet, the spark of that young woman still burns with spirit, determination and enthusiasm for life ahead.

The Fernster.
Fernie Annie.
Elsie Fern Tutewiler Hunt.
Yes, to me she is Mom and yet, she is more than any of those names. I value her not only as Mom, but as a whole person she is.
I love her so -- the person she was before me and the person she is today with me.

Oh Fern, keep telling those stories.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie's Life Lesson:
   “Step back to see the ones you
love  as a whole person!”
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

YOUR TURN...
My intent in sharing this with you is to help you see all the people in your life as much more than who they are now to you... look at all of their titles, their life experiences, their hopes and dreams. See them as the 'whole' person they are!
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
PennieHunt@gmail.com.
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013-2019 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.

SECRETS YOUR MOM NEVER TELLS YOU --ABOUT BEING A MOM

5/4/2019

At 19 I jumped in the front seat of the craziest, scariest most exhilarating roller coaster ride of my life. BAM! I Became AMom!

I was mature, smart and ready to take on the world. (Weren’t we all at 19?) Little did I know that being a mom would be the most rewarding, life changing, ride I would ever jump into.
And jump I did, not once but four times.

Everyone watched me do it.
And no one warned me about what was ahead – the ups, the downs, the jerks, the curves and the whiplashing shocks.
My own mother didn’t even hold up the“CAUTION PROCEED WITH CARE”sign!
She never told me the BAM of Being A Mom was a life jolt. She never told me the secrets.

She never told me that being a mom opens your heart to a love that you could never imagine. The birthing and cutting of a physical umbilical cord that attaches you human-to-human in no way cuts the invisible golden cords that attach you heart-to-heart. Their body may birth to the world an independent being, but a piece of this new soul is forever kept inside and connected toyou.

She never told me that being a mom makes you vulnerable in a way you have NEVER been before. You open yourself to being dropped to your knees by your child’s tears, broken hearts and disappointments.
Their pain is your pain.

She never told me that being a mom means you will never sleep again. Well, never the same way you slept prior to the BAM. You may be prepared for the first months of sleep deprivation caused by night diaper changes and bottles that will soon pass.
What you aren’t ready for is the rest of your life sleeping with one ear half open to hear their cries from a nightmare, moans from a fever and footsteps as your teenager sneaks in the house passed curfew.
What you don’t know is long after they have grown and moved out of your home you will sleep with a part of your heart open hoping they are safe, happy and loved.
You will never sleep fully again.

She never told me that being a mom is a 24 hour, 7 day a week, forever occupation.
No vacation days,
no sick leave and
no quitting!
Once you accept the position you are locked in heart, mind and soul – FOR LIFE!
**She never even whispered that it is a job you will love with all of your heart – and some days you won’t. On those days, you will peak at their sleeping faces and then wrap yourself in a cocoon of guilt and shame for allowing yourself to hate the job you love.

She never told me that being a mom brings you trophy words like Pride, Joy and Happiness that you can hang on your wall in an expression of motherhood.
It also brings you words like Anger, Hurt and Exhaustion that, in an attempt to hide your fear of inadequacy, you swallow and tuck in your belly hiding them so no one sees.

She never told me that being a mom makes you strong enough to endure the unthinkable.
You take on the risk of being told the baby you carry no longer has a heartbeat and you must be strong enough to walk out of the hospital carrying an empty blanket.
You take on the risk of birthing, nurturing and loving your child for years and then receiving the phone call that they are gone. In both cases holding tightly to the golden cords that now reach to your angel child.

She never told me that being a mom makes you understand that you will be joyous when your daughter is grown and has children of her own. You will watch through tears and laughter as she learns for herself, the unspoken secrets of being a mom.

Looking back I would tell that naïve, 19 year old girl, who thought she knew it all,
to jump.
Jump with all the love, anticipation and joy she has because through all the ups and downs being a mom is the most amazing ride she will ever be on.
And through it all she will learn the unspoken code of never saying out loud the secret lessons of Being A Mom.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
“Mom’s are the gentle holders of our hearts. Hold theirs in return.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

YOUR TURN...
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to understand the ultimate love that goes in to being a MOM! Love yours today!!!
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
PennieHunt@gmail.com.
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013-2019 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE

4/28/2019

Years ago I heard a story about an executive who was called into the human resources department and invited to find success elsewhere.

The executive commented,

    “I have been on your side of the table and fired many people in my career. What I
     have learned is that there are two sides to
the table…. Today it is my turn to be on
     the other side.”

There are many tables in life.
We often forget there are two sides to each table. During our happiest experiences do we realize that at the exact same time it could be one of those moments of desperation for someone else?

A young couple I know brought a baby girl into the world a year ago. They were ecstatic to add the curly headed beauty to their family.
They were on the right side of the table.

Unfortunately, their sweet baby lived less than a month and they were forced to the other side of the table in the most devastating way.

Happily, this week my young friends rejoiced at the birth of a baby girl who shares the same curly black hair as her sister before her.
I join their friends and family surrounding them with love and well wishes.

At the same time a longtime friend of mine passed away due to cancer.
I join her friends and family clinging to the circle of support and love which surrounds them.

I received emails and phone calls from one family sharing joyous news, while at the same time I received the most devastating messages of grief and sadness from the other.

The table stood large before me as I saw the experiences of both sides.

Pain and grief on one side.
Joy and gratitude on the other.

How often do we forget that while we sit on one side of the table that there is always someone on the other side?

My young friends today hold their new daughter marveling at her perfection while the soreness of missing their first daughter lives in their hearts.
They know what it’s like to be on both sides of the table.

The ebb and flow, the natural order, the balance of good verses bad is part of our daily lives.
It takes the ebb to feel the flow.
It takes the bad to know the good.
It takes a backdrop of the darkness of night to see the sunrise in the morning.

Be sensitive.
Be grateful.
Be aware.

We never know when it will be our turn to sit at the other side of the table.

Pennie’s Life Lesson ~
“There's always two sides to the table. Be grateful when you sit on the sunny side and strong when you find yourself on the shadowed side.”

*************
Special thanks to Ms. Amara Beatrix Mitchell for allowing me to use her beauty shot in this post!
   *************

YOUR TURN...
I shared this with you to encourage you look at both sides of events in life- we will all be on both sides.
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
PennieHunt@gmail.com.
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013-2019 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.

BUSY

4/21/2019

“How are you?” –
“Oh, I’m so BUSY!”

“Hello there, how ya
     doin?” –
“I am swamped, I’m too BUSY!”

“What are you up too, want to …..
"No, no, no, I can’t I have too much going on- I’m too BUSY!”

“I’m busy” has become our response to any greeting.

Busy has become our natural state.
Busy has become a thing- a noun – like a dark shadow that circles our lives.

Do you see what we are doing to ourselves? When did we begin equating being busy with success?
Maybe it began as an attempt to seem important by verbally listing the engagements, meetings and commitments we have on our to-do-list…and ending with a sigh. Always a sigh.

At some point we began believing our own self talk. After all, our mind and brain will believe our own voice more than any other voice. And we were very convincing.

We began to believe that we had to have a list to keep up with everyone else. We had to be busy!

We began to believe that the level of busy-ness was the measure of our own self-worth. So the list became longer. We foolishly became filled with distracting details of our activities. The exchanged expression of ALL we have to do became expected. And exhausting.

But, we didn’t stop there. We began adding things to our lives.
Remember being busy = success!

Yes, life moves fast. New age electronics have increased this speed at an astounding pace. It is frightening to ponder. We all have work, families, responsibilities and commitments. Do we have to make ourselves even more overwhelmed with the continual documenting of our busy-ness to everyone we interact with?
Secretly we just want to scream!

What if we began answering greetings with,

   “I’m well, I’m happy and I am thrilled to
see you today!”

What if we greeted others with,

     “What is making you happy today?”

And then, shut up and smile.

Possibly, just possibly, the response may be more engaging than the level of overloaded activities filling the pack on their back.
They may just share a joyful story or expression of happiness. The way greetings are meant to be.

Here is mine to you:
“Hello there, how are you?
      What brings you joy today?”

And your response is???
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
“Stop telling yourself and others how busy you are. Instead speak of the joy and happiness that fills your life!”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

YOUR TURN...
I shared this with you to encourage you think about how many times you tell others how busy you are.
Share your thoughts and experiences relating to this post in a comment below. And please feel free to email me at:
PennieHunt@gmail.com.
Thank you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2013-2019 Pennie Hunt
This was written and produced by Pennie Hunt.
Feel free to forward and share this post. Please keep the entire message intact, including contact, logo, and copyright information.

WHO IS YOUR BACKSEAT DRIVER?

4/13/2019

Are you letting stories that you repeat over and over again define who you are? Do you allow them to drive your life? If you don’t know what I mean read:
WHO IS CHAUFFEURING YOUR LIFE?

Maybe you have your stories under control but have another problem… other PEOPLE who want to (or you allow to) chauffeur your life. You know, that back seat driver that is always telling you where your life should go at every turn. As you read that, did someone immediately come to mind? Did you see their face and hear their voice? If so, you know what I am talking about.

Humans need human contact to survive. People need people. We need time. We need touch. We need connection.

What we don’t need is to feel like we are powerless or controlled. We don’t need to feel like our emotions and happiness are totally dependent on pleasing someone else. We don’t need to feel like our actions are being controlled by the demands of another person.

I do have a caveat here -- I am not talking about a mutually loving relationship where there is reciprocity of respect, kindness and love. It is healthy when we give of our self and do acts of love and kindness for others and in return receive feelings of love and self-satisfaction.

I am talking about the sponges that soak up all of our good intentions and acts of kindness without returning any level of thoughtfulness. Oh, occasionally they may throw a sweet gesture your way, but for the most part, they hold an expectation that you will always be there, always support them and always give, give, give.

We believe the control is created by the other person, but the reality is – WE create the situation by giving away our control. We allow the back seat driver to steer our life and control our actions. Let me say that again- WE create the situation by giving away our control.

By doing this we give away our happiness. We cheapen our value by letting others push our buttons. We feel tied like a puppet with no way to cut the strings. And yet, we are the only ones who can.

It is even possible that the other person is not aware of this situation, but it has been going on for so long that it has become a habit that holds no consequences or responsibility on their side. After all, they are in the cushy seat, the comfortable place, the receiving end.

We must create boundaries.
Boundaries around what we will or won’t do.
Boundaries around our self-inflicted guilt when we believe we are responsible for the other person.
Boundaries around our hearts as a protection from the invisible force of expectation we feel from the other person.
And boundaries around our minds that have been trained to create the illusion of obligation to this person.

Isn’t it time to put the brakes on?
If you are always giving family members or friends money to get them back on their feet, but never see them grow up and take control of their own life --Stop writing checks expecting this to change.

If someone is always late, wait an appropriate 10-15 minutes and then leave- they obviously feel their time is more important than yours. Don’t cheapen your value.

If you are the one who tries to make everything perfect for others in hopes of making them happy, but it is never enough-- it probably never will be enough and they will probably never be happy… and while doing this, neither will you.

If you are under obligation to continually take care of or give to a person, evaluate if the obligation is real or is it just your perception that you “owe” someone your time and talent. Evaluate the situation for codependency. Are you getting something from being a martyr? Even if you feel like you are being used and taken advantage of, have you become dependent on being needed?

If you are continually trying to stop giving your resources of time, finances, energy and control of your emotions and life to someone else, but only break free for short periods of time. Then you slip back into the old pattern again of one-way giving. Chart how long you have been doing this pattern. Where has it gotten you?

If you are following a life path because someone told you it was the road you should take, but you hate the scenery, you feel lost, or you know in your heart it isn’t the way you should be going, it is never too late to stop, make a U-turn and let your soul’s GPS recalculate to guide you on YOUR path. There isn’t time to be controlled by a backseat driver. Be your own navigator on this road of life.
Take control of your own steering wheel.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pennie’s Life Lesson:
“Take control of your own thoughts,
time and talent.
Don’t allow a back seat driver to
steer your life.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Pennie Heart to Heart
WHO IS YOUR BACKSEAT DRIVER?

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